My personal hero, Exercising While Intoxicated, just ran the SF half marathon while drinking a beer every mile, finishing in an earth-shattering 5hr, 7min:

Several of you told me that I was “going to die” if I drank 13 beers while running the San Francisco Half Marathon. I did not die.

I puked three times, blacked out for miles 11 and 12, and needed five hours to finish. This is my story.

Read on.

Fresh from our “not everything on 16th has to be shitty” department, Jay Howell put up this mural about a week or so ago.  While I personally lingered around and didn't get a chance to check it out until Friday evening, it's absolutely worth rushing over now to see it yourself.  Colorful, wacky people with strange faces and great hair.  What's not to love?

Fear of Major Brands in the Mission: Case # 87,679,001

Maybe adopting 'authentic cultural themes' (via Thailand) would help residents accept the 7-Eleven brand

On November 5th 2009, the owner of a 76 station at Mission and 30th submitted an application for renovations to the San Francisco Planning Department. In his letter, Somil Gandhi and his representatives stated their intent to re-brand the gas station's food mart as a 7-Eleven.  

On May 20th 2010, the San Francisco Planning Department found the renovations to be “necessary and/or desirable”, granted Somil conditional use authorization to move forward with his plans, and scheduled a hearing in a week's time to finalize their approval.

On May 27th 2010, the NIMBYs flipped their shit.  

With locally crafted pitchforks and biodegradable torches in hand, a group of “neighborhood activists” descended on the hearing.  While the overtones of an intrinsic hatred for corporate branding were present, the NIMBY mob must have realized that this sort of knee-jerk reaction wouldn't make for a solid argument when trying to sway city planners.  So instead they argued that 7-Eleven is a crime magnet and would “threaten local business” by fucking with their coffee sales. Whether or not you're delusional enough to believe that local cafe goers would switch from Philz to gas station coffee in droves, it's a moot point because the 76's food mart is already selling equally shitty coffee.

The great '7-Eleven Coffee threat' aside, let's make something very clear; this gas station is a local business and would remain a local business.  Somil Gandhi is not selling his food mart to an evil corporation so that they can rape the fertile land that is Mission and 30th.  The business will remain owned and operated by him and his family.  All that changes is the signage and a slight expansion of the building's 'office area' to comply with corporate regulations.  By doing so, Somil's suffering business will save money by being granted access to 7-Eleven's consolidated distribution network; allowing him to purchase goods at lower costs from a single retailer instead of several dozen.  

Now it's true that gas stations do get robbed, but 3400 Mission has already been a gas station for some time.  The only way that adding a 7-Eleven sign to an existing gas station could be perceived as painting a bulls-eye on the area, would be the fact that 7-Elevens typically sell alcohol and alcohol promotes crime.  But there's one little catch, and the NIMBYs seem to have missed this in the project proposal (WHICH IS PUBLIC AND EASILY ACCESSIBLE, EVEN TO HALF WIT BLOGGERS LIKE MYSELF); this 7-Eleven will not sell alcohol.  I REPEAT: THE PROPOSED 7-ELEVEN WILL NOT SELL ALCOHOL.  This fact is clearly stated twice in the application (pages 11 and 39).  

Thursday, July 1st, the Planning Department will reconvene in the case of 'Somil Gandhi and his family's financial well being VS. Yuppie sensibilities and cultural elitism'.  Be sure to pour out a Gameday beer in honor of Somil Jr's non-existant college fund; because I'm sure he wanted to work at a failing gas station for the rest of his life anyway (so long as it wasn't a 'yucky 7-Eleven', how uncouth!)  

Mission NIMBYs: enjoy your dilapidated 76 food-mart and future vacant lot.

Is the lack of Gameday beer at the proposed 7-Eleven the real reason behind opposition?

Last week I was in Brooklyn and stumbled across Bond No. 9's latest scent “Brooklyn.'” The Brooklyn perfume consists of a combination of grapefruit, cardamom, cypress-wood, geranium leaves, juniper berrie, cesarwood, leather and guaiacwood, (wtf is that?)  and for a mere $220 you can actually “smell like” Brooklyn. Don't really know where they came up with this weird ass combo to encapsulate the scent of the “edgy metropolis.” To me Crooklyn smells like wasted youth and decaying bodies but, I guess that really isn't marketable.

If San Francisco's neighborhoods were bottled up into different perfumes, what would these neighborhoods smell like? And what is the price you'd have to pay to smell like them?

Mission: Taco trucks, piss, cheap beer, expensive coffee, trustafarians. Price: One call to your parents to please, please, please let you use daddy's Amex one more time.

Haight: Drum circles, midwestern runaways that didn't get the memo that punk is dead (see: dirt, b.o., and dreadlocks), bong loads, DMT. Price: Panhandle for 48 hrs straight and pray some unwitting tourists feel bad for your 3 dogs.

Marina: The scent of entitlement, hair product, fake tanner, axe body spray, shame, chest bumps! Price: The cost of running for mayor.

Tenderloin: Crack, garbage, meth, cheap blow jobs (see: rotting teeth), poor life decisions. Price: Eagerness to give cheap blow jobs.

Noe Valley: Upwardly mobile snobbery, babies, french bulldogs (read: shit), the new car smell. Price:  Raising 2 kids, paying for private school, a vasectomy

Sunset: Isolation, depression, pseudo suburbia. Price: Moving anywhere else in the city

Castro: Rainbows, unicorns, leather daddy's leather, lube. Price: An evening at Boy Bar.

Chinatown: fish, lost tourists, the dirty 30, dumpsters. Price: Shitting yourself.

North Beach: Pizza! bros, day old strippers. Price: One lap dance.

If you have anymore ideas go ahead and throw them into the comments, and if you want to add anymore neighbs that I didn't cover, i.e. Pac Heights (I'm not sure what rich smells like) go ahead and do it.