Humor

Hot New Technology: Hello iDad

 

Meet the iDad. Announced today in a room full of virgins, the iDad has many new features that should give you the erections your wife stopped giving you five years ago. To the untrained eye, the iDad might look just like the iPop but the iDad is actually much larger and more awkward to hold than the iPop. You will be able to dock your iDad with your iMom and do everything your iPop did except now you can do it much more obnoxiously, blinding people with your giant glossy screen at Four Barrels coffee so you can check to see if your tumblr post about Apple Products got any reblogs while you were using the restroom. Future. Now.

Scott Meets Family Circus

Yeah, this has absolutely nothing to do with San Francisco but there is jack shit for posts in the “Art - The Canvas” category and I had a good time reading this while eating leftover pizza.  Enjoy.

video:

You Can't Turn A Hoe Into A Housewife, But You Can Turn Her Into A Household Name

Attention all Bay Area “ladies” with a penchant for drink throwing, extension pulling, and general skankiness. This Friday is your lucky day (and my worst nightmare)!

Casting Directors from Oxygen’s “The Bad Girls Club” will be at San Francisco’s illustrious (*cough cough*) Manor West this Friday from 9-11pm, combing San Francisco’s collective weave for fresh blood to offer up to the insatiable reality tv Gods.

So put on your best clear platform heels, your shortest Forever 21 frock, and make sure those acrylics are on point, because you just might be the train wreck “The Bad Girls Club” is looking for!

Ladies, heed the advice of The Dude Whisperer! Or don't! Fuck your petty ass problems!

My current favorite bay area blog (besides yours) is The Dude Whisperer. Not only does this fool know what the fuck he’s talking about, he’s also very funny and dreamy GOD STOP TALKING ABOUT A MARRIED MAN LIKE THAT LAURA. I was reading some older entries when I stumbled upon this gem about the guy with the too long schlong (or is it that his ladies vagina is tiny like pencil sharpener?). Delightful. I strongly suggest you send him a question and if you do, let me know b/c I totally want to make fun of you on this blog I mean report it tastefully. 

The DW also just posted this classy pic from AwkwardFamilyPhotos on his Facebook page. The only thing that would make it better is if the family were super fat. Everything is better when fat people are involved. 

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