Hot New Technology: Hello iDad

 

Meet the iDad. Announced today in a room full of virgins, the iDad has many new features that should give you the erections your wife stopped giving you five years ago. To the untrained eye, the iDad might look just like the iPop but the iDad is actually much larger and more awkward to hold than the iPop. You will be able to dock your iDad with your iMom and do everything your iPop did except now you can do it much more obnoxiously, blinding people with your giant glossy screen at Four Barrels coffee so you can check to see if your tumblr post about Apple Products got any reblogs while you were using the restroom. Future. Now.