— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
David sends us this map our way. I'd say something snarky about it but, honestly, I think this is pretty much as close to perfect as you can get.
(no idea who authored it, but it was found on reddit) UPDATE: Generic made it!
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Mimi @ The Purple Onion from Azure Valencia on Vimeo.
I don't know Mimi, but she has a pretty decent Twitter, an even more decent Tumblr, apparently hates her ex-husband and likes blow jobs. The reason I bring her up is that this clip is the first of her stand-up I've heard and, let me tell you, it was a pleasure to listen to while I cooked my beans and rice. More importantly, she's performing at the Madrone Art Bar this Wednesday, October 6th at 7pm.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
I was pretty surprised by Gascon's casting list for his latest promotional video for his so-called “civil sidewalks” proposition. I had expected it to be a bunch of geezers having a good cry about homelessness, but was instead surprised he managed to rally a few scenesters to take up the cause. Some of my favorites included the owner of FTC Skateshop, who complained about civility on the streets with a backdrop of skateboards and “I <3 Haters” hats, which is particularly ironic because skateboarding is all about breaking laws and not being civil in public. Another “Mission Resident,” chilling at the 22nd St. parklett where people sit and lie nearly 24/7, was also opposed.
“Oh noes, homeless people aren't buying my beauty supplies.”
However, the real highlight of this three minute short is the empty-framed, sailor-tatted Megan Schnider, who starts going on about people with “like, chickens running around.” I'm seriously waiting for the memenets to discover this one and autotune the shit out of it. Think of the potential people! An autotuned ditzy voice, psychedelic techno beats, animated gifs of dancing chickens and random sounds of clucking thrown in for good measure. It'd be like hatebeak, only much funnier.
— By Jane Parton |
Apparently the candidates for the Mayor of Oakland have more interesting qualifications than I thought. My friend Parisa just made these … and they're pretty awesome. These three are my favorites, but check out Oakland Elections 2k10 for the rest.
Parisa is also the author of a really clever alternative sex blog, which can be found here.
— By Patric Fallon |
Shit. I haven't posted anything on this blog in a very long time. Who knows why, exactly, but I'm back now, and I've got something to share.
I've recently returned from a trip to Seattle, WA, where I saw shit-ton of obscure electronic artists perform. (That's not what this is about, but you can read about those experiences here, if you want.) While I was up there, a friend of mine showed me this video his friend made, and it's pretty funny.
I don't know much about “memes,” nor do I care to, but this seems destined for some kind of fleeting internet attention, to me. Sure, the quintessential 'bro' is an easy target, but there are enough excellent one-liners in “I Luv U Bro” to excuse the fish-in-a-barrel aspect. But fuck it, anyway! This shit's hilarious, and mega-kudos for the excellent Google Image Search pics.
Haha… I said “but fuck it.”
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Stevil over at All Hail the Black Market buried this snap after a long post about Interbike, but his take on it is dead on:
I've long felt that as we (cyclists) increase in numbers, (socially) we would experience a myriad growing pains. After all, we are up against three generations worth of belief that streets exist exclusively for motorized traffic. Eking out a small slice for ourselves would be a challenge, of that I had no doubt. Going toe to toe with hysteria that would make Joseph McCarthy blush is another matter entirely.
The backstory is some 2-wheeled insurgents are trying to keep a bicycle boulevard in place, while hundreds of neighbors are up in arms trying to get rid of it. Honestly, I wish the whiny Dolores Park neighbors could put on a show like this one. Damn good theater.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
via Headline Shirts
They should just give the money to me, and i'll take care of the renovations…
We'll have an epic party where three people walk away with a new Lamborghini. A Free big mac, a free pack of smokes, and a free 6er of bud light for everyone who comes. Non stop strippers, and fireworks the whole time. We'll pay to dig up Michael Jackson's coffin and have viewings. Lady Gaga will come and sing country music. We will spray one lucky person in gold leaf.
Then when we've used up 99.9% of the money we'll use the last bit to spread some grass seeds. Renovation done.
(link)
— By Jane Parton |
So the other day my friend Kahla showed me this highly comprehensive list of types of bitches that a third grade teacher in Washington, D.C. found on the floor in a hallway of school … and I am LOVING IT. My personal favorites are “got all that mouth but can't step bitches,” “bitches that be ignoring you when you know they can hear you” and “uncreative bitches.” You can find the whole list here.
This morning Kahla & I were inspired to compile a Types of Bitches list more suited to our immediate social environment. We're calling it Types of Bitches: Mission Edition. With only 25 entries it's just the beginning of the full compilation, so feel free to suggest any bitches we may have missed in the comments.
So far, we have identified:
1) Chrome bag but no bike bitches
2) Resident DJ bitches
3) Selling doilies and owl necklaces on Etsy bitches
4) White bitches who think they're “down” 'cause they listen to Too Short
5) Throwing up in Delirium bitches
6) Toms-wearing smelly feet bitches
7) “Are those skulls?” bitches
8) You just locked the wrong wheel of your bike up bitches
9) Head-to-toe American Apparel bitches
10) Unemployed bitches who think they're artists
11) Flask of Ancient Age in the bar bitches
12) Morrissey tattoo having bitches
13) Moustache party throwing bitches
14) Crush on a bike messenger bitches
15) Trust fund having but pretending to be poor bitches
16) Leather-wearing vegan bitches
17) Thinking they're all that modeling vintage for their friend's eBay store bitches
18) Peacock feather earring bitches
19) Walk of Shame down 24th St. bitches
20) Bitches you can tell were scene kids back in high school
21) Won't stop talking about how much they love Portland bitches
22) Stripping to pay for that postgraduate philosophy degree bitches
23) Bitches fucking that guy you used to fuck
24) Been “26” for the past five years bitches
25) Butchering Salt-n-Pepa songs at 500 Club on Sunday night bitches
What type of bitch are you? Right now I'll admit to being #11 and slightly #14. I was #6 for about two weeks back in the summer of 2007. It wasn't a good look.
— By Jenny Wilson |
John Waters, Hollywood Smile Train, 2009. C-prints, edition of 5, 26 3/4 x 20 3/4 inches framed. Courtesy of Rena Bransten Gallery, San Francisco, CA
John Waters' fourth solo exhibition at Rena Bransten Gallery entitled, Rush, is now on view through July 10th. The exhibition, aptly titled after Rush liquid incense, the alkyl nitrites inhaled for recreational purposes (more commonly referred to as “whip-its” by the kids I roll with) gives you just that.
Rush boasts a comical fiberglass mixed-media sculpture of Ike Turner forcing his puppet, a fur coat and pink dress clad Tina Turner to perform a sassy dance. Other memorable works are the film stills of Hollywood stars appropriated onto butts, poking fun at the filmie technique of Rear Projection (the works title) and appropriately finishing the sequence of photographs with “the end,” a perfect double entendre! The piece, Hollywood Smile Train, is composed of images of Tom Cruise, Hitchcock, Meryl Streep, and other celebs with harelips, and not in that hot Joaquin Phoenix kind of way.
The exhibition also incorporates a series of photographs taken from the movie set of Pecker, the 1998 comedy written and directed by Waters about a young photographer plucked from Baltimore and promised to become a New York art star. The stills challenge the contemporary idea of the art worlds relationship with celebrity, its obsession with the next big thing, and the excitement and sadness it all incorporates.
The exhibition is an insiders peek into the film and art world as seen by Waters, but manages to keep outsiders in on the joke too. The exhibition ends July 10th.
— By Brizz |
