(View larger image.  I cannot allow you to see the original size because Flickr is too goddamn confusing and I don’t know how to enable it)

A few weeks ago, I got all aggro on Local Mission Eatery, primarily because I thought the name was stupid.  Well, reader Catherine W. sends us a note telling us that they have a pretty rad art wall (pictured above) and a good menu.  Ah shucks:

Saw your post on the new restaurant. You’re definitely right about the seriously bad name and of the over privileged liberal aesthetic of the whole place. However, I just wanted to point out that one cool aspect of the place is going to my friend Jon Fischer’s art. The guy that owns the joint contracted with him to do a permanent installation piece. It’s a series of photos turned screenprints onto wood panels of every intersection from Valencia Street to Vermont Street. You check it out here via his blog.

I haven’t paid for any food there yet, but I did go to their opening party and it was definitely pretty damn delicious. I had whatever veggie sandwich they were making that night (mushroom and some sort of fancy arugula pesto or something of the sort?). It was definitely worth it. Also, the little separate-ish bakery is pretty rad — for the party she had made these little smore-type desserts that had homemade marshmallows with a huge vat of melted chocolate on the side.

I’ll definitely go back. Although since I work from home, they had me at free WiFi.

The art is definitely rad!  Besides, it’s the Mission.  I could literally eat organic grains for a week, take a fat shit on some Tartine and sell it ‘on the street’ for $20 as a “locally-sourced shit sandwich.”  I’m sure this place is already cleaning up.

Thanks Catherine!

Fucking kettle korn? We’re standing in long lines for kettle korn in this town? And kettle korn with a “k”? Nu-metal kettle korn? This isn’t a carnival. You have other options, ladies and gentlemen. 

See that fucking blurry postage-stamp?  Those are some delicious goddamn vegan cookies

So I make my way over to Mighty and the line was out the door (expected).  Immediately some bouncer wearing a bluetooth carded me.  ”21+ to eat fucking cookies?”  “Yep.”  Get inside and the place is packed, there are skanky-ass bimbos wearing heels and there is some retarded, looping 45-second video of Jeresy Shore clips in which bros fist-pump and grind against girls.  Couldn’t handle it.  It’s a beautiful 70 degree day in San Francisco and I’m in a dark club shouting over blasting music on the Lord’s day.  Went outside to eat my cookies in a fenced-off smokers corral and eventually left.

I wasn’t until I got home that I learned that it was actually a Jersey Shore themed bake-off (which is inherently dumb for so many obvious reasons but GO TEAM), so maybe part of my hate was a little unmerited, but the whole event struck me as fucking annoying.  I’m not saying that every event on planet motherfucking Earth has to cater to Kevin Montgomery and clearly if you are selling tickets you are doing something right.  But that doesn’t take away fromt he fact that they’ve gone a long way from their humble beginnings at Stable Cafe.

BUT LETS TALK ABOUT THE COOKIES.

The cookies that won the awards were certainly not my choices but I’m not some pretentious food-snob that gives credit to shit for ‘innovation’ and ‘overcoming limitations’ I just like shit that tastes good ANYWAYS.  I overheard some mayonnaise bitches next to the token-vegan cookie plate saying “this isn’t good.  You just cannot make a cookie without eggs and butter.”  Figured it was probably legitimate since not everything vegan actually tastes good, but I ate one regardless.  FUCKING DELICIOUS.  Cookies were engineered by the gods themselves to have frosting on top of them and this trick was one of the only ones in the place to use it.

Also, some other girls made a cookie that was covered in gold glitter that tasted like an Oreo that was legit (pictured below).  I ate some other ones that was pretty ‘off the hook’ but I was more interested in having a date with Cold Beer, Cold Water than really takes notes.  SBI.

Sorta feel like I generally shower to, you know, smell less like booze.  But hey, whatever works for you.

Also, just wanted to make sure everyone knew the soap is VEGAN FRIENDLY.

(Thanks Natalie!)