Crime

New Year Off to a Grim Start With Two Dead on 21st and South Van Ness

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

We're not completely certain what went down this morning, but the chatter on the other side of the police tape reports that a shooting involving the black sedan at 8:30 this morning led to police chase down South Van Ness, which ended when it collided with the white car.  We're told a bystander on the sidewalk was run over and killed, along with the driver of the white car.

Stay safe, everyone.

[Photo submitted by Jackson West]

The Mission is Getting Stupid With the Stealing

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Normally we don't share stories about people getting their stuff stolen like this.  It's not because we don't care (we do), but because the sheer quantity of them would turn this blog into a proverbial Mission Street utility pole.  However, we've noticed things are getting really out of hand lately.  And given how unique of an item this is, and how safe of a location it was stolen from (Shotwell's!), we figured our pal Rhiannon's misfortune would serve as a good reminder to keep your shit safe while merrymaking (and that thieves fucking suck):

The Mission is getting stupid with the stealing. It's one thing to steal something worth money, but Sunday someone stole my jacket from Shotwell's. Not just any jacket, but my patched out, autobiographical fucking jean jacket that I've been adding to over the past month. Could you put out the APB? It's a ladies' 2X Jean jacket, it's got an Odeon bar button on the front (right!), and patches include a Space Ghost flying towards a Maker 2010 badge on one side, Doc's Clock sign on the other, and “shut your whore mouth” on the sleeve, and my Girl Scout cookie patch from 1996 on the back.

It had my car keys in it, and some of my work keys. I have to pay to get the club off my car in the morning because of this. I'm so fucking sad with the world right now.

Here's a picture I took when I was stitching on SG the other day.

If anyone comes across Rhiannon's jacket, do hit her up on Twitter.

Local Food Blogger Seasons Package Thief With Bear Spray

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

In what could be San Francisco's closest real-life adaptation of Kill Bill, “Professional Food Pornographer” Sonya Yu made a citizen's arrest of a suspected serial package thief in Noe Valley earlier today after catching him in the act.  How?  Because of Noe Valley's proximity to The Castro, residents keep an ample supply of bear spray handy.  And swords.  Japanese bokkens, to be exact—and she wasn't afraid to use them.

According to Sonya's fiance, through Noe Valley SF, the couple laid out a bear trap, complete with a motion-activated video camera and a fake package (aka “bait”) left out to be stolen.  For our benefit, Sonya livetweeted the whole ordeal, from setup to arrest:

Now that the trap is set up, time to take a break for some humdrum daytime activities:

But that didn't last for long:

She seriously must of fucked up his world, because…

No pain, no gain:

And with a little aid from schadenfreude:

Finally, for some home defense tips:

And scene:

Her entire play-by-play is practically a lifetime of Tweets, so do read them for additional gems.  Unfortunately, she didn't end up mutilating his junk.

[Noe Valley SF]

Frjtz's New Meyer Lemon Hot Sauce is So Good It's Like Having a Cop Pepper Spray You in the Face

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Frjtz, Valencia Street's remarkably unremarkable fries joint and 24 point Scrabble word, is getting in customer's faces with just how epic their new hot sauce is.  Of course, some people don't find it funny and are calling for a boycott.  SFist fills us in:

SFist talked to an employee at the Mission District Frjtz on Monday to learn more. “Yes,” someone at Frjtz explained to SFist when asked if the flier in question upset some patrons. The controversial yet eye-catching fliers, we were also told, are still being used to sell sauce.

Noted photographer and Occupy rabble-rouser Justin Ryan Beck joins the call to boycott, asking the restaurant, “Hey @frjtz what kind of tasteless bullshit is this?”  Which makes us wonder: is he asking about the ad or the food?

[SFist]

Then they came for the nudes…

— By Alan Fineberg |

I warned of the slippery, oiled-up slope we were on back in April. Now the city's verdict is clear: your genitals must be shamefully concealed from sight as G-d intended.

Put them away and think of the children for once!

Nudist's last stand, San Francisco 2012

[Photo]

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Mission Rapist Found Guilty

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Guilty on 25 felony counts, so he's going away for a longgg time.  The Chronicle reports:

Frederick Dozier Jr., 33, sat silently as a court clerk read guilty verdicts for 25 felony counts on Tuesday, including attempted rape, kidnapping and forced oral copulation. The jury acquitted him of one count of attempted murder.

Prosecutors said Dozier will likely spend the rest of his life in prison.

During the two-week trial, the three victims testified that Dozier had grabbed them from behind and dragged them to secluded spots, where he sexually assaulted them.

…”This defendant will go to prison for life and that is where he belongs,” Gascón said at a news conference after the verdicts were read. “This is someone that does not belong in the streets…. Frankly, he is an animal.”

He'll be sentenced on Dec. 14th.

[SFGate]

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Always Lock Your Bike to the Front of the Bus

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

We all know better than to leave a bike unlocked while it's perched atop a Muni bus's bike rack—especially while the bus is creeping down Market Street—but allow Doug's experience serve as a cautionary tale in case anyone has been lulled into a false sense of security:

I was enjoying some after work drinks on Election Night when I decided I had one too many to safely ride my bike home. I put my bike on the front rack of an outbound #71 at Market and 2nd, and took a seat on the front of the bus. I was on the sixth seat back, and had a decent view of my bike. The next stop was Stockton and we pulled up to a red light. As people were boarding the bus I had my head down until the driver called out that someone was taking my bike. By the time I stood up my bike was gone. I ran off the bus and headed back down Market assuming the thief was riding off in that direction but I couldn’t see anything among the lights of Market Street rush hour traffic.

Bummer, Doug.  And if anyone spots a red singlespeed rigged up with surfboard rack mounts, do let him know.

[Ice Tubes]

Regarding Sunday Night's Onslaught of Graffiti Down Mission Street

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

I generally avoid directly writing about criticism lobbed at Uptown Almanac.  It's an uncomfortable and inherently masturbatory admission that this blog is worthy of criticism, which I'm not certain it is.  And our troll-spiced comment section is often a fine and illuminating forum for such discussion.  However, the sheer amount of criticism we've received for our role in “promoting” and “celebrating” the vandalism begs a response.

In some respects, I get it—this is the third riot in six months that's left the neighborhood bleeding with nary a response from SFPD.  People rightfully want answers; businesses demand to know when the costly damages will cease.  And are we going to have to repave the badly scarred Mission Street again?

Naturally, the finger-pointing began immediately.  Some elected to blame SFPD for neglecting their duties, many went with the tried-and-true Oakland boogeyman.  But, much to my surprise, some opted to blame the likes of UA and Mission Mission.  Apparently because I and others post pictures of graffiti and street art, we encourage bad behavior.

Talk about shooting the messenger.

It feels utterly ridiculous to have this conversation again 24 years after Jean-Michel Basquiat shot up one too many times and six years after “Graffiti” landed at the Brooklyn Museum, but it seems necessary and, unfortunately, timely.

I don't see graffiti as some sort of black and white, Republican or Democrat, love or hate activity and art form.  Rather, like every cultural wedge issue we're forced to tackle, it's a bit more nuanced.  It's not universally bad—how could it be?  If it keeps movie posters and cell phone advertisements off plywood, I eagerly welcome it.  If it livens up the storm barriers along Ocean Beach, awesome.  And if it's talented and interesting? All the better.

But like everything, there are shitty and worthless guys out there trashing innocent homes, businesses, and public resources.  Sunday night's melee obviously falls into that category.  However, I don't subscribe to the preposterous theory that the action of 15 taggers leveraging a crowd of thousands as cover delegitimizes the whole shebang.  That's a step away from labeling music with guitars as absolutely horrible because Nickelback exists.

Please.

Some of my friend's businesses were thoroughly trashed Sunday night, costing them hundreds of dollars they cannot spare. My favorite venue is covered with tags that cannot be easily removed.  Murals that artists slaved over are forever fucked.  And of course I feel horrible for them and hope they find relief.  However, I refuse to accept blame because I enjoy graffiti of the harmless variety.

Anyway, it's time for me to wash the ejaculate off my keyboard and take a long, numbing shower.  Thanks for reading.

[Photo by Jonathan Koshi]

Beloved Cyclist "Chuey" Munkanta Beaten Unconscious and Arrested By Police

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Kachusha “Chuey” Munkanta is one of the most beloved figures in the San Francisco cycling community.  He's known internationally for his hand-made cycling caps, made and sold right here in the Mission.  And everyone, from MASH to PD Bird, know him to be a “peaceful” and “non-violent” person.  He even delivers coffee, by bike, for De La Paz Coffee Roasters—a company undeniably of peace.

So it's with great shock and disgust that we learn of his arrest and police beating while trying to monitor SFPD's treatment of Latinos.  A close friend of his forwarded along his story:

Thursday night/ Friday morning Chuey stopped on the side of the street in the Mission when he saw the cops having 4 Latinos lined up against a gate. He stopped to make sure the youth were being fairly treated.

The cops then asked him to cross the street, when Chuey said he couldn't observe from across the street. They (2-3 cops) jumped him as he was hugging his bike. They wrestled him to the ground then continued to push him into the ground, twisting his arm, slamming his head into the ground. He was in jail for almost 24 hours and released after his family paid bail. They charged him with 3 felonies for assaulting 3 cops with enough force to cause grave bodily harm and  2 misdemeanors for resisting arrest.

Chuey was released on $150,000 bail and arraigned yesterday afternoon at the Superior Court of California, where he was issued a public defender.  Chuey is also faced with steep medical costs after having to visit the ER for his injuries, where doctors advised him to have a cat scan.

Currently, there is no fundraiser planned to aid in his defense, but friends are encouraging people to purchase his caps, helping support him financially in any way possible.  You can get his caps online at Mission Bicycle or MASH (who will donate all proceeds to his defense), or in person at Box Dog Bikes or Pushbike.

Update: Roaring Mouse Cycles are also donating their cut of Chuey caps to his legal aid. All Hail the Black Market is also donating proceeds from certain t-shirt sales.

Update II: Because people are questioning the accuracy and “bias” of this post, we feel we must remind readers that SFPD does not comment on “ongoing investigations.”

Update III: Stevil writes in letting us know that friends have begun raising money to aid in his defense on Indiegogo.

Three Homicides in Eight Days

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Mission Local reports:

Two men were shot and one of them killed near 24th and Harrison streets on Wednesday, police said.

The  victims, whose identities are unknown at this time, were approached at around 6 p.m. by two men who shot them. One of the men died at the scene while the other was taken to San Francisco General Hospital. His condition was not immediately disclosed, but according to police Sgt. Matt Rodgers, he was being treated for a gunshot wound to the foot.

Wednesday’s killing was the third homicide in the Mission in the last eight days. Jose Escobar was shot and killed early Saturday morning on 16th Street. Caesar Chuc, a cook at Serpentine Restaurant, died this weekend from injuries he sustained when a group of suspects attacked him on Valencia Street the previous Tuesday.

SF Appeal also reports that late last night, three men did a drive-by shooting at an officer:

At about 1:30 a.m., a San Francisco police officer was shot at multiple times from a moving vehicle that had three possible suspects inside.

The officer avoided being in the line of fire, police said.

The officer pursued the suspect vehicle and three suspects jumped from the vehicle in the 2500 block of Bryant Street, which is near 23rd street, police said.

The officer captured and arrested one suspect, police said.

Stay safe, everyone.

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