— By James the Stanton (@gnartoons) |
[Editor's Note: Each week, Gnartoons creator James the Stanton will be illustrating some of our favorite Missed Connections found on Craigslist. To kick the whole thing off, he's polishing up a few gems that were left in the aftermath of Burning Man 2011, because a week of unchecked drug abuse mixed with a dash of internet results in some truly bizarre shit.]
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Want this set of posters up on your wall? Well, should you feel compelled to buy an electric bicycle, The New Wheel at 420 Cortland (tee-hee) in Bernal Heights are just giving them to the first 25 people to buy a ride from them.
We Built This City spoke to the owners about them and got this back:
We had help [designing the posters] from the SF Ad agency Draft FCB and they developed the concept of #flattensf to get people talking about how electric bikes can be the transportation solution for SF. At the moment, we aren’t selling them, but we are offering the first 25 people who buy a bike from The New Wheel the posters plus other great stuff.
From what I gather, #flattensf (or Flatten SF, for those of you who haven't integrated Twitterspeak into your everyday lives) is an idea that electric bikes will help flatten out San Francisco hills (like Cortland) so the masses can ride bikes around the city in leiu of driving or blowing through time waiting for Muni.
So say what you will about their theories on sustainable urban transportation, but their artwork is undeniably fantastic.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Those crazy California College of the Arts kids are up to no good again. This time, they're putting Osama Bin Laden's head on a fucking platter. SFMOMA's blog has the story:
Before I had a chance to visually make sense of anything in the exhibition I was greeted by an overpowering sweet smell of vanilla and pastry. The source was in the center of a huddled mass of giggling persons eating something on a pedestal; upon closer inspection what was revealed was a half-eaten head of Osama Bin Laden—served with American-flag cake plates and red cocktail napkins with violet lettering spelling out “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED”, along with a red-stained chef’s knife. Another disturbing factor was the gleeful smiles of people eating large slices while urging others to have some of Bin Laden’s symbolic head.
I'm sorry, but there's nothing disturbing about people getting all gleeful like about eating a giant cake; just look at all that frosting around his spinal cord!
Anyway, read on for more delicious pics and accusations of cannibalism/political apathy.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Here's the latest SF Bay Comic from Gnartoons, featuring some lovely depictions of what the Mayan apocalypse will look like in SF.
(Also, I've also suspected this to be the reason San Francisco smells like New York every fall. Has MythBusters performed any tinkle reconstitution experiments yet to prove this theory yet?)
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
If you have $20 to burn and have always wanted your portrait done up in the classic Mission beauty salon style we all know and love, VinCent M. on Yardsale will take his index fingers and paint you a digital portrait on his iPhone for you to cherish always.
— By Alissa |
Well isn't this just the cutest map of San Francisco you've ever seen?
Oakland artist Naomi Bardoff is pretty spot on with this beautiful watercolor map of SF and the crazy critters that inhabit it.
In the spirit of wanton stereotyping, we thought of a few animals and neighborhoods that were omitted from the map:
11. French bulldogs accompanied by gay dudes in Duboce Park
12. Patricia Dolores!
13. Rats and roaches in the Tenderloin
14. Sharks in the ocean
15. Politicians in Civic Center
16. Cats in the home of every girl living in the Mission, because doesn't every girl living in the Mission seem to have a cat these days?
17. Raccoons in the Panhandle
18. Poorly cared for pitbulls belonging to street kids in the Haight
19. Little dogs in purses in the Marina
Any more to add?
[Found the map on this website, which houses hundreds of handmade maps from artists all over the world. This one of Castro gay bars is another favorite. Check it out!]
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
As previously mentioned, Fecal Face has setup shop on Mission Street (2277 Mission St., specifically) after that massive September fire in the Lower Haight. And after a month of settling in, they're ready to open their doors tonight at 6 for their latest show, “Fake Sunset”:
During the summer of 2011 FFDG was asked to select three San Francisco based artists and bring them to Sao Paulo, Brazil to participate in the third edition of the MCD LAB shows co-curated by Brazil's NOZ.ART (Ana Ferraz, Lucas Ribeiro Pexao and Tristan Rault). Featuring hand pulled three color silk screen prints, the show opened on July 25, 2011 at Sao Paulo's LOGO Gallery and featured prints from Jeremy Fish (USA), Matt Furie (USA), Aiyana Udesen (USA), Sesper (Brazil/SP), Lucas Cabu (Brazil/SP), Fabio Bitao (Brazil/SP), Talita Hoffmann (Brazil/Porto Alegre), Anthony Nathan (Brazil/Curitiba), Lucas Torres (Brazil/Belo Horizonte), and Alberto Monteiro (Brazil/Rio de Janeiro).
After traveling throughout Brazil during this past Fall, FFDG will host the only US stop for the exhibition on display for 2 weeks with an opening reception Friday, January 6th (6-9pm). San Francisco based artists Jeremy Fish, Matt Furie, Aiyana Udesen along with Brazilian artists and curators Lucas Torres, Ana Ferraz, Lucas Ribeiro Pexao and Tristan Rault will be present. All 10 prints will be for sale framed and unframed. Tecates shall be served.
Tecates! Welcoming your new neighbors to the 'hood! Let's shower them in housewarming presents! I'll bring a cup of sugar, you bring one of those weird Japanese sex pillows.
[More information on the show, including some additional previews of the prints and background on their new space, on FFDG]
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
In light of the continued controversy surrounding the egregious crimes that occurred on Muni this past New Year's Eve, SFPD has released this sketch of the suspect's bottom region. Authorities state that she is believed to be intoxicated and dangerous, and should be threatened with rape and murder should you encounter her.
Police ask that if you recognize this urine stream, please call SFPD immediately.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
First, I want to know what kind of unadulterated badass gets that permanently adhered to his arm. Second, this photo comes from a tumblr known as “fuck yeah burritos,” which I highly encourage anyone with a casual interest in gawking at tubes of calories to follow.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Much to my surprise, Emeryville's Bay Street shopping center is not only home to interesting art (or, art of any kind), but is self-aware! Yes, rather than hanging up a giant Christmas tree like the unfettered capitalist scum of San Francisco's Union Square, Emeryville retail mecca erected a “holiday tree” made of shopping carts and shiny ornamental balls. As BuboBlog (taker of the above photo) speculates, is this a pointed critique of the Black Friday-ification—the pepper spraying, and killing, of our fellow man over dumb crap we won't use in six months—of what was a winter celebration of family and Black Baby Jesus?
Artist Anthony Schmitt explains:
The shopping cart tree symbolizes both generosity and abundance, as well as acknowledging those less fortunate where their whole world may be housed in a cart. We see shopping carts everyday and take them for granted. Individually the beauty of an everyday object may become invisible, but in quantity you can’t miss it.
Oh.
[BuboBlog]