— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Earlier today, this hyper-connected cyborg cruised up and down Capp Street wearing Google Glasses, a bluetooth, and holding an iPhone, frequently jumping off the sidewalk and walking down the middle of the street (pictured above). One can only assume this human trifecta of douchebaggery was field testing the hardware, but the choice of location seemed particularly poor. I guess his Google Glasses don't have a crime statistics overlay for his heads up display map.
Comments (48)
To be even more pedantic than usual for a moment, one needs implanted electronics to be a “cyborg.” If one is merely wearing electronics, that makes them a “gargoyle.”
I’m okay getting schooled on this.
I belly laughed at this because I read it as “Futuristic Mugging Victim…”
The link on facebook that brought me here did say futuristic.
Possibly one of the SFPD bait/decoy operations?
Maybe not, I just want to believe that no actual person would be so foolish.
When the police took the report about my stolen bikes they were using a Sony Mavica with floppy disk to document the scene. I hardly doubt they have the means to use such cutting-edge tech for a bait op.
Man, San Francisco is awesome. Just filled with cool people here. My favorite thing about living here is looking at people staring into their phone/computer 18 hours a day. Keep it up people!
leave.
From the description, my guess is it was an Android device rather than an iPhone and you just had your first run-in with somebody playing Ingress (http://www.ingress.com), “Inside Ingress, Google’s new augmented reality game” (http://news.cnet.com/8301-1023_3-57550819-93/inside-ingress-googles-new-…).
Exactly. Ingress would explain the walking in the middle of the street.
Maybe if some of these San Francisco doughy guys would spend less time guzzling lattes and eating deep fried this and that to blog about, and more time hitting the gym, they could fight off a mugging.
Truth.
What? Going to the gym makes you bulletproof!? I had no idea!
Way to use an extreme example as a way try to deflect my point. Anyone that knows anything about self-defense knows that if a weapon is involved, the best thing to do is comply. That said, a good portion of these muggings I have read about involve the suspect physically assaulting the victim. Why not fight back in these instances? Most of these dorks I see walking around the city look like overgrown 8-year olds, staring blankly at their phones. If I was compelled to, I’m certain I would have no reservations about jacking one of them.
Well aren’t you a great person.
Sorry for making an observation, but I am definitely not alone in this sentiment.
“But other people agree!!1” is always a great excuse. Always.
See also: Germany ca. 1939
Annnnnnnddddd there’s the Nazi reference.
You don’t know if they have weapons until they pull them off. I really hope you try to be John Wayne and get stabbed.
YES. lift a weight & let’s test it out.
A new generation of internerd tough guy, sidewalk bully is among us.
Makes comment stating people should fight back; is labeled bully. Seems legit.
My statement was directed towards Moto-Slacky.
uh-oh, i think someone’s feeling BUTThurt! don’t worry scum, i’m sure the rest of the flock will protect you.
Heh, it’s pretty funny to see you accuse someone else of whining.
Bro, do you even lift?
ACTUALLY SF is the 8th fittest city in the US!
http://www.forbes.com/2010/05/21/fittest-cities-washington-lifestyle-hea…
With shoving things in your mouth being the only way left to redistribute the wealth in this town, what’s a well-paid hipster to do??
I know that labeling is dumb, but techies wouldn’t be considered ‘hipsters’ really, they’re yuppies.
Brilliant, as always Kevin. You made my Friday afternoon even funner.
KevMo drop trou in your office again?
I can agree that grown adults ostentatiously frolicking with expensive toys makes me cringe, but I’d rather spend time with the dork with the hardware than the commenters on this thread.
Wouldn’t he have video proof of who will mug him??
You call him a douchebag bc he’s using the latest electronics? I’m so sick of higher-than-though hipsters hating on anyone that’s remotely affiliated with tech. Seriously, you’re not cool bc you share a 2 bedroom with 6 people and drink Pabst.
No, I call him a douchebag bc he’s using THREE of the latest electronics, simultaneously.
How many electronics do you have to be using simultaneously to become a douchebag? Please include a graph if possible.
If you are walking down the middle of the street? Just one. Anything else is just cherries.
I would call him a ‘something or other’ just for the fact he is strolling (probably) talking loudly over electronic devices. Who then walks out into the street strolling. This is complete anti social and holier than thou behavior. That the public space we have left, wherein we can
see our neighbors and communicate in a face to face manner, is of NO concern to him. It’s his little playland. It’s like an airport
concourse to him. I’ve put up with this for over four years from the overfill from Philz. People that actually take up the whole
sidewalk with windmill gestures, pacing and too loud talking about….well…utter useless bullshit. It’s not the volumne….
it’s the arrogance. The supreme unenlightened march of the those have have never worried about paying rent. It’s a class thing.
And if you think I’m full of shit, LOOK at the looks this kind of person gets on 24th street, when people with strollers, or just a
‘illegal drunk bum’ tries to walk by. But sorry, I asked you to LOOK at your neighbors…..white brown black….we’re just losers, cuz we can’t keep up with new tech.. BTW it’s not ‘cool’ to share a flat with 2 people, it’s economic necessity, and often choice, that the bottom 60% of the country lives with many other people.
This is the best thing I have ever read on this blog, thank you.
Huge surprise that you’re a fan of holier-than-thou types, Mr. Scum.
Mug-shugga on youz.
Very likely playing Ingress. You need to stand in the middle of the street sometimes to get right on top of a resonator, maximizing the destructive power of your XMP bursters. Portals are found at public offices (post office, fire dept) landmarks (statues, art sculpture) historical markers, etc. Is there a sculpture or historic place nearby? Ingress is an ARG that uses GPS, like geo-caching with a score card. It gets you off your ass and walking around the city . https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08Vaor0PZYg
Have you ever had sex that you DIDN’T pay for?
Have you ever had sex with a pharaoh? I put the pussy in a sarcophagus.
No, but I seem compelled to clik on posts that begin with, Have you ever had sex with…
i think that is steve lee, the director of google glass. seen here http://www.theverge.com/2012/4/4/2925372/google-project-glass-augmented-…
I love any of the posts that open upma conversation about how mission whiteboys are pussies. When theres smoke theres fire weenieboys!