Whimsical Bullshit

Metal Wednesday

— By Serg |

It’s going down bitches! Starting tonight Butter (11th and Harrison stupids) is letting us play metal every first Wednesday of the month! Get pumped because I can’t mix for shit but who gives a fuck! I’m bringing the death! All kinds of metal so lets fucking rage! I don’t give a fuck what the other dj’s are playing I’m dropping thrash, doom, death, grind and blackthrash! Fuck your life, leave that pussy shit alone and ditch your soul because tonight we give praise to satan and rejoice in motherfucking pain!

oh yeah, bar’s open at 8, dj’s at 10 and dollar off all drinks

Foursquare Attempts to "Get It", Fails

— By Megan Allison |

The Independent is a movie theater like I am a newspaper box.  

Also, I am the mayor of Storyville. Get your own fucking popcorn, and while you’re at it, ditch Get Satisfaction if you ever want any constructive feedback from your users. What a pain in the ass that is. 

OMG Slumber Party at The Fairmont!

— By Laura B |

I don’t know about yall but I’m about to go Beverly Hillbillies on the Fairmont’s ass. That is why you don’t put this shit on super sale and let the plebes in. I’m going to pull my barely running hunk o’ junk into valet and force them to unload my garbage bag of clothes and live chickens. I’m about to run through the halls naked and snoop through maid’s closets to find the good toiletries and then attempt to sneak into the penthouse suites and rub my naked body all over the bed that Bill Clinton sleeps in when he’s in town. What? That kind of power is attractive. Plus, the last time he was in town, he wasn’t terrible to behold? Maybe? 

Anyway, if you need me, I’ll be taking a bath in The Tonga Room pool. Rub a dub dub, motherfuckers!

DUMB SHIT IN WINDOWS

— By Serg |

Dolls Clubbing

I've been walking by Sidney's Hair Care (sutter and pierce) for 4 years and never took a picture of this barbie club scene until this morning.  This picture sucks but you get the idea. (larger). You can't see the gogo dancing ken doll wearing a disco ball jumper on top of the upper left column but you can always dream.

Local Artist "Brings It" For Babies

— By Laura B |

Now that we’ve brought you the truly horrific side of babies, I will ease our pain with some truly whimsical shit.  A nursery mural created by San Francisco artist, Michael Reed. Totoro! The golden gate! Worlds colliding! I can’t handle it! This kid is extremely lucky and will grow up to be more than alright and I’ll be the first to ask what everyone is thinking: BABY, WILL YOU MARRY ME?

(Thanks, Kristina! More detailed pics here. Oooh, you should also check out this rad woodcut Reed did for local dog saving superheroes, Rocket Dog Rescue.)

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