Pets & Animals

Bird About Town

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Okay, I'm just going to come out and say that this tumblr fucking rules. Why?  Because some person just carries a bird (named “Patricia Dolores”) around San Francisco, takes photos, and buys weed.  Yes, really.

Not only does it reaffirm that the Mission is evolving into a neighborhood of pirates, but its subject matter is priceless.  Just look at some of the San Francisco celebrities that have posed with this avian adventurer:

Former mayoral candidate and city supervisor Bevan Dufty.

Frank Chu

The most prolific businessman in the Mission.

But, obviously, your bird needs to see more than just people.  Why not drag your winged pet to…

… a Giants game…

… or perhaps a kinda gross protest with a kinda cool cause?

And sometimes, a bird just needs to chill with the regular people:

An imposter Snacks the Cat Girl.

Human tree branch.

There's 17 pages of the bird hanging out with drug dealers, in coffee shops, on homeless people, and taking bike rides.  Give it a look.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

So What Do Whales Shoot Out of Their Blowholes Anyway?

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Cocaine? What, what? Blowhole you say? Huh? Oh, BLOWhole. yuk yuk yuk

Anyway, coke fiends, next time you find yourself needing a bump but don't have any money, just dive into the Pacific and wrestle a giant beluga until a geyser of energy and septum damage comes gushing out the top of its head.

The Mission is Evolving Into a Neighborhood of Well-Groomed Pirates

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

It seems that 2011 saw a notable uptick in people lugging around birds attached to their limbs.  Maybe people are learning avian beasts easier to care for than dogs? Are we all students of 876 Valencia? Perhaps we need just someone marginally dumber than us to talk to?

No matter the reason, I think it's safe to say that holding a White Cockatoo in your hand has replaced a cup of Ritual Roasters as the defining accessory of The Official Mission Uniform.

[Mission Taco by Headline Shirts]

Animals With Guns

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

In the market for framed drawings of animals looking away from the big-ass guns they are holdinging?  Well, Wonderland SF has you covered with a big pile of prints for around twenty bucks.

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