— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Schlomo was shopping in Alley Cat Books earlier today when he happened upon this pleasantly twee embroidered spank scrap stuck to their cream-colored walls (hopefully not placed above the children's section). Available now, should you be in the market.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
The Women's Building recently unveiled a new exhibit of highfaluting shit buckets. Perched on their front steps, the unusable works of art are supporting LavaMae, a local non-profit that aims to provide showers for the homeless.
Let's take a closer look:
By far the best of the three, this toilet features a litany of dinosaur figurines, a bicycle horn, and other objects that'd probably be uncomfortable to sit on.
This is just a toilet filled with crap.
Anyway, drop by the exhibit yourself at 18th and Lapidge.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
When it comes to being potty positive, Valencia Street has been long known as the Mission's premiere place to plop out a pound or two. But Viracocha’s spacious den of a bathroom really stands out. It's host to a plush armchair, ample lighting, the occasional sleeping cat, a sink so big a small person could bathe in it, and a vintage bathtub for people who need to take their restroom experience to the next level. It's quite lovely, really. (In fact, there have been many times your gasbag editor has stumbled into Viracocha to “check out their typewriters,” only to beeline it straight for the office.)
So it's no wonder that Viracocha's fantastic flush has been named one of “America's Best Restrooms” in this year's annual “America's Best Restroom® Contest.” And the contest holders think quite highly of the bathroom!:
From the outside it’s an inviting, rustic looking boutique. Once inside, Viracocha’s quaint and cozy charm come to life beneath the high-beamed ceilings that house vintage clothing, antique furniture and other unique collectibles. Nestled in San Francisco’s oldest neighborhood, Viracocha is a haven for local artists, writers and musicians. This eclectic vintage store has become one of the Mission District’s most popular destinations – predominantly for its posh potty – which patrons say resembles a “Zen retreat” so magical you will wish you could live in it. Featuring Tiffany table lamps, a Victorian bath tub full of stones, and a cozy white arm chair, it comes as little surprise to locals that Viracocha’s ornate, spacious bathroom has been called “one of the top 10 places in the city to take a date” by several San Francisco bloggers and named as a finalist in this year’s America’s Best Restroom contest. “We regularly have to tell visitors to hurry up the tour, ” joked store owner, Jonathan Siegel.
That's right, Viracocha's shitter is on of the best places in the city to take a date (especially one you just met on OkCupid). And, remember, you heard that from several San Francisco bloggers.
Should you want to vote for Viracocha in the contest (or ogle at Ground Kontrol's Pac-Man mosaic on the floor of their bathroom), the ballot box is open until October 31st.
[Photo by CateyCate] [via SFist]
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
I always thought real men used alleyways or trees or the Muni tracks or handicapped stalls. Thanks for clearing that up, Tempest!
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Reader Milk Steak ponders:
Reverse psychology?
Excellent deal?
I cannot even believe this is a problem, considering you can just pee on Albion for free.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Good thing someone put that there because I really had to go and was all freaked out that I might have to walk 2 additional blocks to my house.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Dolores Park picnickers without a pot to piss in will soon have a pod to piss in. Or something. Anyway, it's called the “pPod” (or, as we prefer to call it, “The Masturbation Station”) and city officials hope to include it in next year's renovation of Dolores Park.
The thinking is the European-style pissoir will help curb all the public urination that happens on warm days in the park, when everyone balloons up on warm Tecate and elects to wash down the Muni tracks instead of wait in the 20+ minute bathroom lines.
According to SocketSite, which seems to fancy itself as the number one source for piss press, “The pissoir would have a front and back semi-circle screen consisting of specialized wire fencing covered with vines a three-foot diameter concrete base and a sanitary drain with a fine mesh grate. A user would enter the pissoir from the existing north-south internal pathway and face the interior of the Park.” There will also be a one-way drain to prevent it from smelling, poles to prevent the inevitable drunken popping of squatting, and no sink for the hands you weren't going to wash anyway.
Of course, while we're sure most reasonable people think this is a fine development for the park, it seems “plugged in” park neighbors are already voicing their criticisms in SocketSite's comments. As one proclaims, “I live right across the street from this proposed 'pPod' and fear that this will cause a lot more problems down the road with odor, nudity, and the list can go on (none of it is positive). How do we avoid this from getting installed? I want to prevent my neighborhood from becoming like the Tenderloin.” Or, as another puts it, “The very idea of a pissoir seems sexist.”
Given the mounting opposition, we're sure it'll be another 18-36 months of lengthy community meetings before this titular homage to Steve Jobs is installed.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
IRL Goatse. Photo via Bluoz
With Ed Lee's Mid-Market Miracle nearly 18 months in the making, neighboring southern SOMA has been downgraded slightly from “Belize City bus station bathroom” to “meh, what about Capp Street?” As the Chronicle reports, SOMA-based businesses fed up with poo are now looking at Capp Street as a less-pooey alternative:
Bill Pollock [of No Starch Press] has been running his publishing company in San Francisco's South of Market neighborhood for six years, but he's considering moving his company elsewhere because, after all these years, he's had it with the alleys and walkways being used as toilets.
“I've had my wife walking down Eighth Street, in the middle of the afternoon, when a man drops his pants and defecates on the sidewalk,” Pollock said. “We've had multiple issues, during the day, of guys coming in and urinating right on the building. Our street has a little alcove there that gets used like a public toilet.”
As a result, he is considering moving his business to Capp Street in the Mission District - a street that sees a fair amount of crime - because even that location would feel more welcoming, he said.
Man, that feels like a sort of epic burn directed towards the Mission's renowned prostitution corridor. I guess we can look forward to a new economic boom thanks to or only somewhat shit-covered streets?
[SFgate]
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Because leaving cutesy sarcastic love notes under the windshield wiper of cars blocking your driveway is played out, one 17th Street combination car/dog owner is getting innovative: dumping a translucent blue bag full of crap under the wiper to ferment in the hot summer sun.
(Thanks Amanda?)