Pets & Animals

The Uptown Reimagined With Dogs, Dinosaurs and Unicorns

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

The Uptown, the dimly-lit bar full of beer-soaked couches, vandalized wooden tables, a machine full of 80s arcade games, and jukebox that has both Crystal Castles and Metallica on it, is already a rad spot.  Hell, I cannot think of a single thing I'd change about it.  That said, if they changed their name to Downtown, started serving root beer floats and began admitting dogs from the 70's, I don't think I'd complain.

$350.  On sale now at Fabric8. 

(Work by Adrianna Bamber)

Buffalos Can Have Lazer Eyes Too

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

I saw this Jared Kozel painting hanging up in BRIEF SPACE in The Metreon the other day and I couldn't help but be reminded of the Lazer Cat mural on Divis.  Cats shooting a lazer at a dragonfly.  A buffalo blasting crows.  And let's not forget lazer walrus. At the rate this town is fetishizing lazer animal art, I predict we'll see laser-themed furry costumes make their debut at Folsom Street Festival 2011.

Oh yeah, the art? 1500 bones and it's yours.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

The Leftover Sandwich: Meat-Eater's Edition

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

I already ejaculated all over Ike's vegan version of the same sandwich (summary: it's really good!), so I feel it is my duty that there is a cheap, meat-filled version available now at Zeitgeist.  I wasn't able to review the dish myself, but I'd personally lose my shit for any sandwich that was filled with mashed taters.

Also, my friends and I snapped a photo in Zeitgeist.  We're such badasses.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Mostly Harmless Nerd Wants to Draw A Cat For You

— By Zach Perkins |

Batter down the hatches and clear the tubes; the internet is going to explode.  This apex of awesome Cyber Monday deal, highlighted as a “Confusing holiday gift” by Groupon Santa Cruz, is totally worth ~33.3% of the ten free Groupon bucks they give you for signing up.  For a nominal fee, Steve Gadlin will draw a picture of a cat as you describe it, and may even document the process for the interwebz.  

I've submitted a request for a giant cat with lazer eyes shooting a dragon fly above a cityscape.  In 5-7 business days we'll see how Steve's rendition stacks up against the original.

No word yet on what this man may be capable of if his requests are denied…

link:  iWantToDrawACatForYou.com

Thanksgiving for Lemurs

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

In an effort to make the internet explode, the SF Zoo decided to host a Thanksgiving feast for their 14 lemurs:

It was a Thanksgiving feast to remember for the lemurs! The Zoo's Taste of the Wild Catering and Leaping Lemur Cafe Chef, Robert Ulucan, created and prepared an unforgettable feast for 14 of the Zoo's lemurs!

Unfortunately, one lemur was pretty pissed off and wasn't having a good time.  Also, no shots of the lemurs attempting to drink the wine?  COME ON GUYS.

Check out the entire photoset.

Happy Thanksgiving from the Vampires MC

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Last night was one gnarly scene at Bender's.  For some ungodly reason, the Vampires Motorcycle Club decided to do burnouts on a frozen turkey for an entire hour, which, as you could imagine, smelled lovely.  Following the unbridled debauchery, they strapped the mauled carcass to some unsuspecting person's bike rack, much to the delight of bar patrons and chain smokers.

Verdict?  The show was mouth-fuckingly delicious.

Cute Overload: Street Art Edition

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

I'm really digging the versatile nature of this guy.  For example, if you ditched its dueling vagina ears, it could be any woodland creature.  Slap on a tail and it's a beaver.  Ditch its tail, it's a hamster.  Run it over, it's brunch.

San Francisco's Other Cat Murals

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

The entire internet now knows about both the rad “Lazer Cat” mural on Divis and the “Invisible Bike” mural downtown, but there are plenty of other cat murals worth checking out:

Balmy at 26th.  I'm not sure why there is an insect dancing in front of the cat or why the cat would want to eat/yawn at said insect or why the cat doesn't have lazer eyes KILLING the insect, but I dig it.

Orange at 24th, from the guys at Telephone and Soup.

Poplar at 26th.  You can also see a larger version of this badboy on flickr.

This last photo was shot by Octoferret.  I remember seeing this in Neillie and 23rd (Noe Valley) a few years ago, but I don't know if it's still there.  We can only hope the artist returns to bomb the rest of the city in response to the latest outbreak of Koi Fish.

What am I missing?

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