Pets & Animals

Guerilla Birdhouses Going Up Around Town

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

I have no idea who is hanging all these yellow birdhouses around town, but it sure does strike me as a neat project.  Just building birdhouses, climbing trees and telephone poles, and nailing 'em up.  But, why?  Just on a whim?  To hang up some nice street art with an actual purpose?  Get a master's degree? To give our tough winged S.O.B.s a little shelter?  To get tweeted about?

Regardless of the reasons why, I've spotted a solid half-dozen of this birdhouses get hung up around the Mission and SOMA over the past few weeks.  From the photo above, left to right, top to bottom:

  1. Corner of 21st and Valencia
  2. The abandoned gas station at 23rd and Valencia
  3. Corner of 23rd and Valencia
  4. Outside Homestead at 19th and Folsom
  5. Corner of 22nd and Shotwell
  6. Corner of 4th and Bryant

Has anyone noticed these houses outside these areas?  More importantly, anyone come across birds using them and/or feral cats hanging around?

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Trenton Attends Holiday Gathering, Ruins Christmas

— By Jon Skulski |

Local mission residents gathered to celebrate the glory of Christ late December 25th. Trenton Davies, 31, attended the event after a facebook event notified him that Marcie Graves, 22, was attending.

Trenton Davies, far left, celebrates the birth of the Baby Jesus

”I was surprised, it's entirely different social circles. I only met Trenton once at a bar in the Marina”, says Graves. “I have to admit, when I added him as a friend, I was pretty drunk.”

Trenton arrived to the dinner fourty five minutes late, shortly after everyone sat down to eat. He had brought a bottle of Delicato Merlot, which he opened in the hallway. He asked everyone what was “sup” and sat himself at a place reserved for Thomas Hanes, who had excused himself to use the restroom. When he returned he found Trenton at his seat, filling his wine into Hanes' glass.

“I didn't know what to think. I assume he just made a mistake. It wasn't till later that I found out he was a jackass,” said Hanes.

Dinner conversation was sparse. Trenton was sitting uncomfortably close to Graves when he asked, “so seriously, we should hang out, you know?”

After being rejected by Graves, Trenton turned to the group of single, male members of the party for support located in the kitchen.

Trenton, far left, joins as Hanes, far right, welcomes him to the group.

Tensions eased when a mutual interest was shared: shots of Jameson whiskey. One man in a Mission themed t-shirt was heard to say, “..and that is the true meaning of Christmas or whatever.”

The Lion of the 'Loin

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

The street artist Gaia was in town this week and painted this bunny-eared lion with two hands up at Eddy and Polk over the course of a few nights.  Now, considering how well the colors match the Taco Bell logo, I cannot help but think this is some street art viral-marketing campaign.  Even so, I dig it.

A crappy close-up:

Duboce Ave. Inkblot Test

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

This demon hellbeast of a inkblot test is painted on a wall at Duboce and Valencia.  And who doesn't love a good psychological test (unless it's hosted on TheSpark.com)?

To identify this object, we put some of Uptown Almanac's best minds on it.  Here's the shortlist of what we came up with:

  • A Nazi eagle with goofy eyes and a penis on his arm
  • An unholy hybrid of an eagle and an octopus
  • Whoopi Goldberg
  • The child of a bat and a human, wearing a Klansman's robes being crucified
  • Paint on a wall, likely covering up graffiti.  With a penis on it.

Any psychologists out there care to evaluate these warm and cheerful responses?

(photo by ElizaIO)

Oakland's ZooLights is Girl Talk For Children

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Reader Neb sends us his take on Oakland Zoo's holiday light show:

Dating a girl who lives outside the Mission has its perks, such as having access to a car and getting driven places.  However, this past weekend we were a little too optimistic and ventured to the Oakland Zoo for the ZooLights Holiday Light Show, after saving a whopping four bucks off the $7.50 tickets from Groupon.

On a Saturday night, we were the only 20-somethings by 10+/- years and were surrounded by long lines of double-wide strollers. After a romantic couple’s photo on Santa’s lap for $5, we decided to warm our hearts and hands with hot chocolates. The scalding hot beverages didn't include straws or lids making for an exciting situation with kids running all around in the dark. Having done the loop around the park admiring outlines of giraffes, crocodiles, and tigers in holiday lights, it was on to the famed Lightshow.

Watch the bootleg clip for yourself, but the plot was basically a Girl Talk show for kids with flashing candy cane and animal lights.  PROTIP: go high.

What The Hell Are Up With These Ducks?

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

I can't take this anymore.  I first saw these ducks pasted up next to Philz and I exclaimed, “Whoa, this is neat!”  Then I saw them somewhere in SOMA next to some Black Eyed Peas and Michael Jackson posters and mumbled, “Uhhhh….”  Then again spotted on Valencia and realized I was freaking people by talking to myself as I clutched a camera.  Anyway, I think you get the point.  I like the fact that these ducks are being pasted up around town.  After all, ducks are rad because the quack, eat bread, and they're ducks.  BUT I KNOW THEY ARE TRYING TO SELL ME SOMETHING and it's driving me FUCKING NUTS.

Please, someone end THIS FUCKING TORTURE and fill me in.

Also, the “Be Nice SF” hearts?  FUCKING RAD.

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