Mission District

This Weekend in Street Art: Enjoy

If all the rain didn't keep you indoors this weekend, you may have spotted these photos of landscapes and food from “enjoy” pasted up around town.  Now, I'm supportive of this particular brand of street art because any reminder that there's a sun and are other dietary options available to me beyond Mexican fast food and plain veggie burgers is appreciated.

But even though mouthwatering photos of watermelons are nice and all, I couldn't help but notice a bunch of these food photos were posted around areas that homeless people sleep.  Is this some sort of cruel joke? Just a big “sorry y'all, I'm not going to give you any food, but here's a picture to hold you over” middle finger to the people who sleep on the steps of the Polish Club?  Or is it innocent enough because, well, only pretentious assholes read into simple art this much?

Which Neighborhood Has the Dumbest Bloggers?

Earlier this month, Google announced a new advanced search tool that  helps filter websites by the complexity of their content called “Reading Level.” Clearly we don't know what algorithm Google uses to rate the blogs (perhaps we can blame the commenters for the crappy results?), but who doesn't love comparing a few San Francisco blogs?

Apparently the subtle complexities of PBR, Four Loko, bicycles, and the richly in-depth analysis of burritos were lost upon Google because according to its new ”Reading Level,” the Mission is home to the dumbest bloggers in San Francisco. 

Although some of our life choices may prove otherwise, it seems that #TEAM_UppyAlmy isn't the dumbest blog in San Francisco. Congratulations Mission Mission.

2% more literate? Must've been all of that wikileaks coverage that really put us over the top.

  

  

Looks like Mission Loc@l is the smartest blog representing the Mission. Must be the writer's nicely uniformed profile pictures. With no writers drunk or wearing a Pooh Bear costume in their photos, these people obviously take blogging very seriously.

    

And how did the other neighborhood blogs reading levels fare?

Looks like the Tenderloin, mostly known for its homeless, drug addicts, prossies, schizos, oh yeah, and UC Hastings Law School students is smarter than 2/3's of the Mission blogs.

      

The Lower Haight's HoodscopeSF, slightly dumber than the TL, slighty smarter than the 2/3's of the Mish.

 

Haighteration leads the pack for the gutter punks, retired hippies, and USF students that characterize the Haight.

The Marina fares well with 7x7. But really, how complex are their posts? About as complex as this.

Finally, San Francisco, your smartest blogging neighborhood according to Google's ”Reading Level” is Noe Valley. Congrats Noe Valley SF for being pretty average, but a whole lot better than the rest of us.

Finally, a 49 I actually want to ride

Okay okay, maybe you cannot ride a painting (or can you?), but Andy Stattmiller's “Take a ride on the 49…” is perfect.  From the overweight person sitting in a motorized wheelchair at 16th & Mission, to the tagger atop of Farolito, to the painter covering tags at 29th and Mission, and all the crackheads and street people in between, he pretty much nailed every character you see along the route.  Good work, sir.

$2100.  On sale now at Fabric8.

Mother Jones Reporting Live From Mission High

Mother Jones Magazine has launched a new education blog that is focusing on Mission High.  Kristina Rizga explains:

Over the next few months, [Titania Kumeh] and I will be exploring American education trends through the hyperlocal lens of Mission High School, one of San Francisco's lowest-performing—though rapidly improving—urban public high schools. Instead of writing another shocker on the achievement gap, we'll ask students at Mission High and other inner-city schools what really works to help them to succeed. Instead of another diatribe on “value-added testing,” we'll report from real classrooms on what star teachers do. And instead of obsessing about fights between school chiefs and teacher union reps like Michelle Rhee and Randi Weingarten, we'll talk to teachers about their own employment contracts and tenure concerns. Don't get me wrong—we'll still cover the studies, talk to the experts, and report on conferences. But we'll let the realities of every-day life in schools be the primary driver of our coverage, rather than reactions to the latest reports, donation announcements, or accusations.

Read on.  Or, if education and political issues isn't you thing, check out their tour of Mission High featuring pictures of REALLY HAPPY looking staff and chillingly accurate descriptions of high school life that make me really glad I never have to set foot into a classroom again.

What Does One See on a Walking Tour of Capp Street?

I've been noticing an uptick in walking tours going up and down Capp St. lately.  Don't get me wrong, I think Capp Street is a mighty fine street, but what is there to really see?  Let's take a look:

Adam Infanticide street art.

Homeless men defecating in their hands.

A home full of hipsters.

Homicide.

Beautiful Victorian Architecture.

        

El Trebol.

A gelato shop neighboring a cupcake shop.

Underage prostitution. 

Cats sitting in windows.

Obnoxious hipsters taking your photo from their bedroom windows.

And don't forget about the crackhead following you down the street eyeing your belongings.

(underage prostitution pic by troy holden)

Bike Thief Caught in the Act Last Night at Pop's

Speaking of bike theft in the Mission, it sounds like shit also went down at Pop's last night.  From a reader who'd prefer to stay anonymous:

major drama at pop's last night. i guess some dude caught this latino guy wearing ed hardy trying to steal his bike and started confronting him. the bartender got in the middle of it, got up into the thiefs face and started yelling at him to get a real job and stop stealing peoples shit. i started taking pictures, but the thief's buddy started yelling “this girls taking pictures! this girls taking pictures!” i went back into the bar and the friend followed me and cornered me in the bar to make sure i didn't take his pic. i have no idea if they called the cops or what happened to the bike thief because i got the fuck outta there.

For the interested, this is the same dude that we posted about back in August.  Lock yer shit up, people.

Update: Bike Thieves Still Suck

A few weeks ago, a buddy of mine cracked his bike frame in four places.  So, less than a week ago, he picked up a new frame and some parts from Mission Bicycle that set him back a few hundred dollars.  All good, right?  Well, last night I had persuaded him to roll down the hill from Alamo Square to Doc's Clock.  After a couple of pints and a pinball ass-whooping delivered by yours truly, we made our way to the sidewalk only to find his bike short a few necessary components.

While you might think the story ends there, it doesn't.  His girlfriend picks him up in her car at 1:30am, they toss the bike on her bike rack and drive off.  Well, at some point during the drive home, the entire rack fell off the car.  As you can imagine, they couldn't find it.

In short:

  1. Fuck bike thieves.
  2. Bad luck does come in threes.
  3. If you happened to come across an reddish fixie missing a front wheel attached to a bike rack in the middle of the road late last night, do let us know.

Take it away, Bruce McCulloch:

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