Mission District
Life is hard. Black? Blue? Green? What bin does your rage go into?
Fuck all that. Just knock over the trash cans and go about your day. In other words, "this is how we do out here, dude."
[Vid by SATAN'S WEINER]
I came across one of these the other day and had myself a strawberry-banana smoothie. Delicious!
Previously on Uptown Almanac
As we mentioned last week, a skeeball machine was spotted hanging out outside of Rhea's during Sunday Streets. And this made us freak out. Why? Because we love skeeball, damnit, and we aren't particularly down with biking out to the Richmond to play.
Well, the machine's owner, noted skeeball champ Joey the Cat, has found a permanent home for it right in Dr. Teeth's backyard and they're celebrating its arrival with a cancer research fundraiser TONIGHT before Broke-Ass Stuart's party. Joey fills us in:
Our dreams have come true and I found a home for the skeeball machine: Dr. Teeth. To kick off the machine being placed in the newly renovated backyard AND raise money for blood cancer research (who's not doing that right now?!), I'm hosting a Charity Skeeball Tournament with a bunch of prizes and fun.
Here are the details:
6PM registration / 7PM Tourney Starts / 9PM Trophy Ceremony
Prizes: Sol Republic Headphones (value: $99) - $25 Gift Card to Mission Bicycle - 3 Sony Dashes - One Free Skeeson of Brewskee-ball - Other Goodies
The tourney is free to enter, but they'll be charging $1 per game (all of which is donated to blood cancer research, of course). Also, THERE'S SKEEBALL IN THE MISSION NOW.
[Thanks, Joey!]
Previously on Uptown Almanac
At least, that's the headline from Grub Street, which goes on to report that the bar's (at 3088 24th Street, between Lucky and Treat) liquor license changed hands today and "will likely close for a hipster makeover in the coming months."
Previously on Uptown Almanac
Dude. dddduuuuddddeeeeee...... u lookin at this thing? It's like a metaphor for the Obamanati endorsing gay marriage. Right? Like, when he finishes suckin' down that jammer, wings will bust outta his fascist lil' cocoon and fly to the Middle East and end our imperialist wars for Israel.
Wait. Whoa. I think I might be wrong. Like. What's up with that Indian feather thing? Is this a hungover hipster burrito? Fuck dude, how'd it get that joint in its mouth when it has no arms? fuuuuccckkk are armless man-burritos comin' at our crops? Where's our pit bulls at dude?
im so high. i think im hungry for pizza
namaste.
[Thanks, WBTC!]
There's a new mural going up in Balmy Alley and it's about everyone's favorite topic: gentrification! This time, the Hitler-stached policía are broing-down with white folks over coffee as they arrest and harass Latinos, making a safe place for yuppies plugged into the Matrix to type away on their MacPhoneiBookthings while being laughed at by monkeys. I think.
From one Oakland resident participating in painting the mural:
This particular mural was the perfect adaptation of the culture of the mission changing from a celebrated Chicano community into basically, hipster-yuppy central. In my opinion the mural’s design really does a good job of emphasizing the politics behind gentrification.
The funny thing is, this mural is still relevant in Oakland and many other places around the world. So many people are losing the heart and culture of their neighborhood, to high rise condo’s and pabst drinking hipsters. It’s sad that the mission is becoming one of those areas, but so is Oakland, and many other places around the world.
Wait, I'm confused: is it the cops causing gentrification, with their deportations and questionably racist enforcement of the law? Or is it the hipsters, with their PBR and high rise condo's?
Anyway, for more analysis and pictures of hipsters painting the mural, head over to 2AM Is the time.
Previously on Uptown Almanac
When I forget to call ahead to Rhea's and there's a 25 minute wait ...
Walking into work on Thursday morning after Whiskey Wednesday at Benders ...
When my crush checks in on Foursquare at the same bar I'm at ...
When I'm at Dolores and the weed truffle guy is out of cinnamon truffles ...
When I'm getting coffee at Four Barrel and they tell me they don't "do" skim milk ...
When I walk by a bunch of Capp st hookers ...
When my mom calls me after hearing about another shooting on my corner ...
When my friend tells me she met her new boyfriend on Instagram ...
Between all the rave kids looking like they were just womp-womped by Jesus for the first time and the wide, fanciful grins on the faces of everyone else, it looks like the reported 2,000+ people who turned out to "the world's first ever interactive balloon immersion" had a damn good time.
Previously on Uptown Almanac
All the new courts and fields are freshly paved and painted--so clean, it almost makes the picture look Photoshopped.
Previously on Uptown Almanac
We're a week behind on this and only learning about it now, so please excuse our tardiness...but cult-favorite Cafe Gratitude on Harrison and 20th is, in fact, closing down at the end of the month and being replaced by an outpost of SOMA's oozy and popular American Grilled Cheese Kitchen. Inside Scoop reports:
Pretty much since opening in 2010, The American has been bursting at the seams; Food & Wine declared it one of the best restaurant openings of the year. Since then, the 800-square-foot restaurant has been very, very busy, so a second location is anticipated to ease some of the strain on the original’s 200-square-foot kitchen, which does up to 600 orders a day (and they don’t even do dinner … yet).
The Mission location is about double the size, meaning they’ll be able to do the prep work there, like the pickles, housemade mustards, prepped sandwich ingredients, and so on.
While I'm sure everyone is mourning the loss of Gratitude's famous grass cracker sandwich or whatever, we now have a bona fide grilled cheese establishment that we can hit up for a healthy breakfast at 8am. But be warned, American charges upwards of nine bucks for a sando, which is certainly causing many of you to gasp and sneer and declare the death of the neighborhood. And maybe it is the death of the neighborhood. However, now you don't have to walk into that building and tell a bunch of shitty vagabonds "I am transformed" or "I am fulfilled" when you're hungry as fuck and all you want to do is overpay for a salad.
A gratifying win for the Mission, if I do say so myself...
[Inside Scoop | Photo by Scott Savage]
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