Mission District

Simple like a list of highly-emasculating objects and activities

Am I a terrible person for laughing at this?

Hippest Girl in Town - 28 (mission district)

Dear girl I follow on Facebook, 

I sometimes see you on the street, but I can’t really remember how or if we know each other so I don’t say “Hi”. Once we passed each other on the sidewalk—at least I think that was you— and you smiled when I smiled, but we kept walking. I’d like to say “You’re gorgeous” in some way that wouldn’t creep you out. Maybe if I mentioned that I don’t think we’d actually get along. You seem to be pretty into your looks and lifestyle, and I’m.. well I’m simple. “Simple” like pancakes simple. Simple like bike rides to the ocean, iced tea, solid colors, Lynyrd Skynyrd, and good old fashioned guy meets girl cutesy romance. That’s okay; you’ve got style and I admire it. I’m honestly not a creeper. I’m on too many social networks to be shady. I just wonder if maybe next time I see you it might be alright to holler at you. I’m usually rolling around looking for people I know, and I wouldn’t mind you being one of them. 


Posthumously 

Biggest Bike Nerd in Town

 

(Read it all here.)

 

I’m not sure why, out of all the tragic missed connections of the day, I’ve decided to make fun of this one in particular. I think I just automatically hate people who call themselves nerds; thanks to sarcasm, honestly not-creepers have finally found a way to be arrogant and self-deprecating at the same time. It figures that usually the people who call themselves nerds are “nerding out” over a socially acceptable cool-kid subculture, like track bikes or Italo Disco. These days, when people claim nerd-hood, I just take it to mean that they spend a lot more of their time trying to be cool than you or I do.

 

On top of all that, dude’s calling the girl vain (“you seem pretty into your looks and lifestyle”) while simultaneously trying to sell her on him by comparing himself to … pancakes. I hate on the guy, but clearly we all agree with this line of logic about how being on lots of social networks makes a person less shady. I mean, whoever heard of predatory, creepy people on the internet? Now, that’s just crazy talk.

Enticing Room for Rent

I’ve been trying to wrap my mind around this scene for an epic few minutes.  On one hand, I am comfortably situated in a lovely house with roommates who cannot beat me in an Irish Carbomb race (I like winning).  On the other hand, I want to live with 23 cats.  I feel like someone who hasn’t heard of Craigslist and color coordinates their jacket with the skin of shirtless bro strumming the panties off some hipster hooker is probably not working in the tech sector.  I find that very desirable.  What kind of music does she listen to?  Anything that goes well with heroin.  What’s in the garden?  Anything that gets you high.  What kind of fabric is the couch made out?  Cheetos.

Sold.

 (photo by J.B. Davis)

50% off all clothing at Community Thrift today

As is true on all third Mondays of each month, all clothing at Community Thrift (17th & Valencia) is 50% off today. I waited to post about it until I got to all the cool shit first … sorry, readers.

Go stock up on summer clothes so you can look as adorable as this couple. 

(photo: www.styleontrack.com)

Also, half off on everything day is coming up! April 5th. Get ready.

 

Hipster sighting on the playground side of Dolores Park!

 

Or rather, a pupster - the only breed of hipster courageous enough to cross over the pavement into the perilous land of hacky sack-juggling Burners and Speedo-ed gentlemen getting their tan on. But, all Dolores Park social microcosms aside, Bailey is the most adorable little dog, and the joy he brought me totally made up for a horrible morning of navigating my way home through hordes of loud suburban dudes drinking green beer. And if a dog can lead me to forgive bros … who knows? Perhaps the key to enduring Mission - Marina peace is no further than a dressed up Jack Russell Terrier.

Dolores Park Renovations: "Did anyone read this guy's post?"

Wes thinks no one read this guy’s comment, and he’s probably right.  Honestly, it’s the only useful thing ever published on this blog, so check it out:

 And, number two, taggers, the homeless, “Quality of Life,” and public safety in general.

This, for me, was easily the most interesting conversation to observe and take part in. Two police officers spoke about this issue, one somewhat more than the other. The language they used was very, very disturbing. Specifically, the word “disappear” was used over and over. For instance, the first officer to speak repeatedly expressed his desire that “taggers” and other presumed scum would “disappear” after being arrested and processed. He also asked people who see tagging in action to not approach the taggers because you could get assaulted. So now we have created an image of violent taggers, probably black or brown, who need to be arrested, processed and disappeared. This sentiment was echoed throughout the evening by the almost totally white crowd. By the way, I’m white.

For instance, a woman representing a DP community group, Dolores Park Works, also spoke about the issue. She started off by saying that her group deals with issues that “we can all agree on.” She went on to mention tagging. To state it simply, I do not agree with you. Also, two candidates for Superviser introduced themselves near the end of the meeting. Each focused on public safety, “Quality of Life” issues or crime, whatever you want to call it.

First of all, why do police officers come to community meetings with weapons? There is no reason to have a gun at a community meeting. This militarized approach to discussions and community safety is very troublesome to me, moreso when rampant insensitivity and ignorance are displayed by the people in possession of those weapons.

Second of all, people and problems do not just “disappear.” The police and others spoke as if an arrest of someone tagging was and is the ONLY appropriate and possible response. They basically said, “Just call us, we’ll arrest them, and its done.” The first candidate used the phrase “Quality of Life” at least once. The second candidate for Superviser, an assistant district attorney (ADA), continued by mentioning that she had personally been involved in the cleanup and presumed disappearance of all the bad people from 16th and Mission. I guess the point was, she’d do the same with all the bad people in DP.

This is thinly coded talk about targeting “poor” folks and especially “poor” folks whose skin is darker than mine. California’s jails and prisons are bursting. We are in the middle of a terrible budget crisis. Bevan, the officers and others repeatedly expressed dismay at having to spend $50K a year on graffiti removal. But how much is spent on processing people through the court system? Given the tens of thousands of dollars that it costs each year to incarcerate only one person, I can’t help but think that arresting taggers costs taxpayers waaaaaay more than $50K. Is this the best way to spend our money? What is the cost to families and kids who are separated when someone is incarcerated? What about re-entry into the community?

As the first officer clearly stated when I asked him about arresting homeless people in DP, they are jailed and released and we just do the whole thing all over again. This is not a solution or even an attempt at a solution. This is a harsh and short-sighted response to deeper issues that our community faces, many of which revolve around issues of income and skin color.

Using the word “disappear” in a law enforcement context in a community with a large Mexican and Central American population is ignorant and insensitive. Both Mexico and the nations of Central America have been and are plagued by disappearances, which are used by law enforcement to murder and get rid of people who are seen, for whatever reason, as nuisances. That the room was almost totally white comes as no surprise. What was the PR firm hired for? Could the same discussion about disappearances and Quality of Life issues take place in a room with more people who are not white?

Also, as a defense attorney, I can assure everyone that the picture described by the officers and the ADA is rarely as tidy as they would like it to be. The problem does not end when someone gets arrested. For any number of reasons, cases linger, are delayed, get dismissed and generally just go in a direction that is not nearly as straightforward as the picture presented.

So why not have a place in DP where people can write/tag/create murals?

Read the whole thing.

 

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