Am I a terrible person for laughing at this?

Hippest Girl in Town - 28 (mission district)

Dear girl I follow on Facebook, 

I sometimes see you on the street, but I can’t really remember how or if we know each other so I don’t say “Hi”. Once we passed each other on the sidewalk—at least I think that was you— and you smiled when I smiled, but we kept walking. I’d like to say “You’re gorgeous” in some way that wouldn’t creep you out. Maybe if I mentioned that I don’t think we’d actually get along. You seem to be pretty into your looks and lifestyle, and I’m.. well I’m simple. “Simple” like pancakes simple. Simple like bike rides to the ocean, iced tea, solid colors, Lynyrd Skynyrd, and good old fashioned guy meets girl cutesy romance. That’s okay; you’ve got style and I admire it. I’m honestly not a creeper. I’m on too many social networks to be shady. I just wonder if maybe next time I see you it might be alright to holler at you. I’m usually rolling around looking for people I know, and I wouldn’t mind you being one of them. 

Posthumously 

Biggest Bike Nerd in Town

(Read it all here.)

I’m not sure why, out of all the tragic missed connections of the day, I’ve decided to make fun of this one in particular. I think I just automatically hate people who call themselves nerds; thanks to sarcasm, honestly not-creepers have finally found a way to be arrogant and self-deprecating at the same time. It figures that usually the people who call themselves nerds are “nerding out” over a socially acceptable cool-kid subculture, like track bikes or Italo Disco. These days, when people claim nerd-hood, I just take it to mean that they spend a lot more of their time trying to be cool than you or I do.

On top of all that, dude’s calling the girl vain (“you seem pretty into your looks and lifestyle”) while simultaneously trying to sell her on him by comparing himself to … pancakes. I hate on the guy, but clearly we all agree with this line of logic about how being on lots of social networks makes a person less shady. I mean, whoever heard of predatory, creepy people on the internet? Now, that’s just crazy talk.