Eats and Beers

New "Gangnam Style, Swagger Style" Alamo Drafthouse and Condo Project Approved

If you happened to tune into yesterday's Planning Commission meeting on SFGovTV (you didn't), you were treated to a delightful chorus of goofy neighborhood old-timers reminiscing about first kisses in the back-rows and sneaking past ushers at the New Mission Theater.  And those nostalgic stories prompted the Commission to go ahead and approve, as Planning Commissioner Kathrin Moore awkwardly and hilariously called it, the “Gangnam style, swagger style” condo and theater renovation project at 22nd and Mission.

This, without the slightest hint of hyperbole, is the best thing ever, as we're now getting a brand-spankin'-new 5-screen, 348-seat, beer and food-serving Alamo Drafthouse.  They're even looking to install a valet bike parking station in the lobby for 40+ bikes!

Construction is slated to begin as early as this summer, with an expected completion date of who-the-fuck-knows.

Finally, Fernet Flavored Ice Cream Comes to the Mission

Above is the Home Depot-inspired drink menu for Trick Dog, which happens to be a new bar in the Mission vying “to be a neighborhood place, what bars used to be” (whatever that means). And while that looks nice and all, the real highlight here is their booze/ice cream fusion desert they're serving each and every night until they kick you out.  Eater fills us in:

[Bartender Josh] Harris spearheads the “inventive” food menu, available until 2 a.m. nightly. It includes a Scotch egg wrapped in salt cod, Buttermilk-fried sweetbreads with peach-apricot sweet-and-sour sauce, and—this was bound to happen eventually—Fernet ice cream made with creme de menthe and toasted cacao nibs.

Your move, Bi-Rite.

[Eater]

Finally, a Dedicated Grilled Cheese Restaurant Opens in the Mission

Admittedly, it seems pretty preposterous to get excited about a sandwich famous for being on every kid's menu ever.  Even more preposterous for an entire restaurant to be dedicated to it.  But American Grill Cheese Kitchen is here, serving up a whole mess of grilled cheese sandwiches (and maybe some other stuff too), and it has me not the least bit embarrassed to admit I paid $10 for bread and cheese.

As you can see in the Pulitzer Prize worthy photograph above, it's pretty damn good.  It oozes in all the right places; just soggy enough in the middle without sabotaging that burnt crunch on the bread.  Plus, it leaves behind a nice big pile of grease that sends you into a wonderful downward spiral of self-loathing and regret.

[Normally this is the part of the post where I would lament over what was displaced by American Grilled Cheese Kitchen, but as anyone who ever gastronomically accosted by Cafe Gratitude can tell you, there is absolutely nothing lost here.  Moving on.]

It's worth noting that this place is not without its faults.  For example, your sandwich doesn't come with tatter tots, which is bullshit.  Second, your sandwich comes with a complimentary clementine, which tastes absolutely nothing like tatter tots.  And there were no juice boxes in sight.

However, they do serve beer, and they most certainly make a good grilled cheese sandwich.  So do your lactose intolerant belly a disservice and head over to 20th and Harrison nowish.

(Oh, and for the growing Mission juggalo community family, they're even serving up Faygo. woop woop!)

Hobo-Chic Soda From The Fizzary

Now that the holiday season is over and you're, like, “never going to drink ever again,” might I recommend heading over to our very own soda emporium The Fizzary and getting your hands on one of these “drive-in style” root beers?  Not only is the label covered in the finest dog/hot dog artwork I've ever seen, the drink itself is criminally delicious.  Plus, if you knock back the whole bottle in one sitting, it'll make up the caloric deficit you'd otherwise suffer by not getting drunk.

Only three bucks!  Doesn't come with one of those cool “$2 out the door” stickers.

Watch Some Noted Restaurateurs Waste Multiple Dollars Worth of Perfectly Good PBR

How do the folks from Delfina celebrate the holidays?  By hanging out in Dolores Park not drinking PBR and smashing eggs in each other's faces, apparently.  It's food fight pornography at its finest, but its park cultural accuracy is suspect.  I mean, white wine served in stemware and cream pies?  And where is the weird lady in the jester hat sucking nitrous out of a Cheez Whiz can?  This isn't the Dolores Park I know and love.

Anyway, I'm sure there's like a million stoked dogs savagely gnawing on sauce-soaked grass right now.  Hopefully someone films that.

[via Grub Street]

Area Tastemakers Are, Like, So Over The Mission Right Now

As 2012 comes to a close, it's time for blogs to reflect on what the last dozen or so months meant for people who read blogs.  And despite all the countless top ten features and banal breakdowns, Eater's tastemaker's survey on what the best dining neighborhood of the year often stands out.

Suffice it to say, the list has historically been less about what neighborhood was best and more about piling the well-deserved accolades on the Mission.  But 2012?  Well, 2012's list is most definitely about the Mission, but it isn't the usual shower of compliments to which we're accustomed:

Josh Sens, San Francisco Magazine: Obvious to say, but the Mission

Brock Keeling, SFist: Anywhere but the Mission.

Jonathan Kauffman, Tasting Table: Clearly, this is the year when Valencia Street jumped the shark. No, really, people: OPEN YOUR DAMN RESTAURANT SOMEWHERE ELSE.

Yikes!  Proposed restaurant moratoriums, now this?  Some even went so far as to say, “fffffffff can't we just start eating in Bayview or something?” (I'm paraphrasing).

Does this mean 2013 is the year all the foodies declare the Mission “over” and move to Oakland or whatever?

[Eater | Photo by Serena McClain]

Hi-Lo BBQ

So Eater posted about Hi-Lo's new menu, that new bbq spot that is suppose to open whenever the fuck on 19th. Now I haven't had this food yet so I don't want to shit on them but fuck it, I'm shitting on them. You can peep the menu below. Look I'm about my bbq for reals and I'm not really sweating them for $18/lbs brisket. Franklin's is 16/lb and that's in Austin, so for SF the meat price isn't that bad. My issue is all the other bullshit on this menu. Dog I don't care about smoked almonds, duck wings, mussles, ten dollar fucking potato salads, fucking beets by dre, goddamn warm kale, fucking baby carrots and parsnips?!?! WTF kind of bbq is this dog? I mean I get it, you're trying to fancy it the fuck up for some hee hawing ass cubicle warrior, but come on fool you're doing counter service. I'm not trying to fuck with some Zynga-ass cafeteria lunch special of the fucking month. There are two things worth calling bbq on this list and that's brisket and the ribs. I don't even want to holler at the loin if you aren't fucking with some pulled pork. All this shit is just a big red flag telling me that if you're doing all that shit chances are you're gonna fuck up the main meats.

I'm still probably gonna try this spot but goddamn can't someone just stop giving us bullshit ass bbq in this town. Stop fucking around and smoke some meat proper like already.

Smoked Marcona Almonds $4.5

Assorted Seasonal Pickle Jar $6

Pull Apart Potato Rolls $1

Duck Wings $11 Bourbon-Sriracha Glaze, Crisp Apple, Fennel Slaw

Penn Cove Mussels $12 Bone Marrow Broth, Fresno Chilies, Diced Apple

Cedar Plank Grilled Arctic Char $13

Smoked Fish Plate $15 Steelhead Trout Brandade, Smoked Sturgeon, Scallops, Oysters, Pickles, Sea Beans, Grilled Levain

Coal Roasted Baby Beets $10 Rocket, Blood Orange, Blue Cheese

Warm Dino Kale and Sweet Potato Salad $10 Ricotta Salata, Chili Spiced Pecans, Citrus amd Pomegranate Vinaigrette

Meatloaf Sandwich $10 Texas Toast, Butter Lettuce, Green Tomato Chow Chow

Grilled Eggplant Wrapped Oyster Mushroom Medallions $13 Anson Mills Grit Cakes, Ginger Tamari Sauce, Charred Scallion Oil

St. Louis Cut Spare Ribs $13/half $23/whole

Smoked and Sake-Braised Pork Belly $15/lb.

Hard Cider Brined Pork Loin $18/lb.

Grilled Flanken Cut Beef Short Ribs $20/lb.

Beef Brisket $18/lb. Iocopi Farms BBQ Baked Beans and Burnt Ends $6

24 hr. Confit Sunchokes $6 Goat Cheese and Toasted Hazelnuts

Roasted Baby Carrots and Parsnips $6 Salsa Verde

Shaved Brussels Sprout $6 Bacon Vinaigrette Crispy Shallots

Seasonal Pie and Cobbler $7

Burrito Drone Strikes, Because Why Not?

Now that drones are capable of assassinating US citizens overseas, shouldn't they be able to air-drop me a burrito at 2am?  Of course they should.  And thanks to science and some other app-powered witchcraft, our toy soldiers returning home from Afghanistan will be able to find civilian employment.  Behold:

Unlike the fictitious Tacocopter, this actually seems real (or, at least, they have some source code and details on how to build on yourself).  But don't count on Farolito flying you natural laxatives anytime soon:

Unfortunately, Burrito Bomber as a commercial product is not yet allowed under current FAA guidelines. However, the FAA Modernization and Reform Act of 2012 requires the FAA to hammer out regulations for commercial use drones by September 2015. This means in 2015 we'll be able to take to the skies to bring you your burrito faster than you can say “¡Salsa roja por favor!”.

[Darwin Aerospace | via Eater]

After 90 Years, Roosevelt Tamale Parlor Goes Upscale

After 90 years of business on 24th, Roosevelt Tamle Parlor has some new owners taking over and giving it an “upscale spin.” Grub Street reports:

Partners Aaron Presbrey and chef Barry Moore (a longtime head chef at Emmy's Spaghetti Shack) took over as of November 1, and they're only beginning to make changes, including a tweak to the official name, which will be The Roosevelt — though the much loved neon Tamale Parlor sign isn't going anywhere. Presbrey tells Grub Street that he and Moore were on the hunt for a restaurant space for several years before settling on this one, so they're now trying to adapt their own ideas to fit them in to the well established restaurant and menu. “We're preserving the rich history that is The Roosevelt Tamale Parlor and enhancing it with some new and interesting things,” he explains.

First off, the existing, 150+-item menu has gotten paired down to the essentials, with tamales still front and center, and your standard Mexican combo plates, etc. And the character of that food won't change too much, though they are trying to use higher quality ingredients than the previous regime.

Read on for some history of the place, what they'll be doing with the old foot soldiers in the kitchen, and a preview of what you can expect.

[Grub Street | Photo by Telstar Logistics]

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