Now that the holiday season is over and you're, like, "never going to drink ever again," might I recommend heading over to our very own soda emporium The Fizzary and getting your hands on one of these "drive-in style" root beers? Not only is the label covered in the finest dog/hot dog artwork I've ever seen, the drink itself is criminally delicious. Plus, if you knock back the whole bottle in one sitting, it'll make up the caloric deficit you'd otherwise suffer by not getting drunk.
Only three bucks! Doesn't come with one of those cool "$2 out the door" stickers.