Downtown

Beautiful Maps of SF and More Available Tomorrow at ARTCRANK

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Tomorrow night (7pm at 111 Minna) is ARTCRANK, the yearly bike-themed poster and art show that helps raise some cash for the Bike Coalition and local artists.  And just like the past two editions of ARTCRANK, this year's show promises tons of cheap, local posters, excessive beer consumption (courtesy of Widmer), and a custom bag raffle from Chrome.  Plus, you can score yourself a print of Meghan Newell's dazzling map of San Francisco—the first map I've seen to acknowledge Noe Valley's growing population of Victorian-era strollers and to identify Fisherman's Wharf as “Los Touristas.”

And just in case you're not sure of the official details, here's the event poster:

Photoboof!: An Amalgamation of the Badassery of Richshaws and Merriment of Photobooths

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

This three-wheeled party-capturing, soul-stealing beast is a product of Burning Man, which means you'll instinctively hate it and the acid-fueled Lex Luthor who birthed it, but you really shouldn't.  It bombs around the Bay Area, parking itself outside of parties, festivals, popular parks, and open-air gnargle urinals, dishing out free photobooth action that we all know and love.  And just look at some of the results:

Photoboof!

Cops Bustin' Biker's Balls This Week

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

The Snitch reports:

​The hefty cop with the handlebar mustache had a problem with a handlebar of a different sort. “Look,” he yelled at the despondent fixie-riding hipster he'd just flagged down, “do you have brakes on this thing or not?”

This didn't happen just once. At least one rider tried to explain that, like Fred Flintstone, his legs served as brakes. That answer didn't cut it.

Cyclists traversing Market Street this week have noticed an uptick of riders being flagged down and cited for rolling through red lights or stop signs — or, as in the case above, not having handlebar-mounted brakes. Apparently cyclists don't read San Francisco Police Department press releases — as, on Aug. 5, the cops were kind enough to announce they'd be doing this throughout the week.

The story goes on suggest blame the recent ticketing stings falls on bicyclists themselves, claiming that recently accidents in SOMA has forced SFPD's hands.  And while the checkpoint of sorts at 5th and Market will be winding down soon, SFPD suggests they'll keep up enforcement.

Idaho's laws sure are looking nice these days….

[SF Weekly | Photo by rmcnicholas]

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Bike Thief Tackled Attempting to Steal Bike, Gets His Own Bike Stolen in Return

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Our pals at the Get Outdoors Blog alert us to this video of a woman administering a sweet dose of street justice to a would be bike thief:

Kristen Bell, creative associate at WCG, dished out some justice when a would be bike thief outside her  offices in San Francisco tried to ride off with a colleague's bike.

They didn't kick the shit out of the thief or chase him down, which struck me as unfortunate when I first saw the video.  However, that ended up being a smart idea, as the thief apparently pulled a knife on security guards as he was running away.

But not all hope of avenging the crime was lost, as The Bay Citizen brings us this:

Bell said that before trying to steal the WCG intern's bike, the thief apparently had chained his own bicycle to a sign outside the building. During the courtyard scuffle, he dropped the key to his lock.

The key ended up in the hands of building security guards, who happened to notice the improperly locked bicycle. They unlocked the bike and confiscated it, Bell said.

The whole ordeal is beautiful to watch unfold.  Action starts about 25 seconds in:

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Local Cyclist Thwarts Meth Head's Attempt to Steal Bike Parts

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

We all know that photographing bike thieves is nothing new.  The Mission has unmasked Bobby the Bike Thief (who's rumored to have moved to the hilltop oasis of Bernal Heights), mid-Market has its share of crack fiend and pony-tailed thieves, and this stunning beauty was recently exposed by local photographer Adumb Egan.  While SFPD might never make bike thieft a priority, it's always rad to hear about people watching out for these guys and getting people their stolen property back, as Austin Kamps was recently able to do:

Ran into this guy today. I watched him creep around Montgomery street for a while from a distance, until he found “his” bike.

He finds a bike and then pretends to talk on the phone for a few minutes, then takes his tool out and hides it behind his phone while he unscrews and yanks the seat/post. This happened about a block away. After he did that, I followed him a bit and snuck up to him/scared the shit out of him and ripped it from his hands as he was trying to put it in his bag, then i gave him a “nudge” into the street with my foot. We went back and forth for a bit then he ran off. I ended up getting it back to the owner when he came out a few minutes later.  Saddest part was that there were 4 people around him watching him do it, they knew what was happening, they did nothing. If you see something bad happening do something, put your life on hold for a second and help out if you’re able. Don’t let creeps like this ruin someones day.

Word.

[Skinny Fists | photo by Adumb Egan]

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Stereotypes are fun and easy

— By Alan Fineberg |

After living in San Francisco for two years now, I have realized that a) I am an expert regarding all things San Francisco and b) it is a 7x7 amusement park for adults (look no further than this blog for evidence).

Since I am an expert I have compiled this list of amusement park rides and their corresponding neighborhoods, but it is incomplete. Which theme park ride is YOUR neighborhood?

The Marina

this one is easy

Nob Hill

also obvious

SOMA

bicycle through THIS

The Sunset

who invented this ride anyway?

The Richmond

you know…the windmill…work with me here…

The Tenderloin

couldn't find a good haunted house picture so I just uploaded this picture of the TL

The Mission

stuck in the same place and likely to vomit

North Beach

Coit Tower of Terror

Not sure about these, please help:

Pac Heights: one with no line to get in?

The Castro: ball pit? they are both made of rainbows, that's all

FiDi: house of mirrors?

The Haight: carney quarters? I think this is offensive (to carneys!!)

Bayview: one of those games with water pistols or something

Other neighborhoods: can't think of any!

pictures from:

Visualizing Mental Maps of San Francisco

— By Alissa |

Neighborhoodr clued me in to this awesome new set of San Francisco maps today. Started by a couple of Berkeley students, Visualizing Mental Maps attempts to map how San Franciscans feel about their neighborhoods & the city, and the results are really interesting. From the site: 

 
The Visualizing Mental Maps of San Francisco project taps into San Francisco residents' perceptions of the city and its neighborhoods, which aren't always reflected in the geography of a street map. The first part of the project was a qualitative investigation in which we interviewed residents and asked them to draw pictures of their internal images or “mental maps” of the neighborhoods they lived in and of San Francisco. The second part was the creation of visualizations informed by the qualitative research, resulting in this atlas of mental maps.
 
One of my favorite parts of their project is Storymaps, where you can hover above a map of SF neighborhoods and see how the study participants characterize them. 
 
I like the one participant who says about the Marina, “Y'know, its not really necessary. I don't really need this.”
 
The map of hills and pedestrian barriers is also a cool reminder of how San Francisco's unique topography dictates neighborhood boundaries and how we move about the city on foot/bike. I've frequently argued that San Francisco really isn't all that hilly, but I think the only reason I feel that way is because I've become so adept at avoiding the hills, especially when biking. When I lived on Fulton & Stanyan, I'd regularly ride a mile out of my way to avoid that steep two block hill on Stanyan between Fell and Fulton. Because I'm lazy. 
 
 
I just wanted to share this, but you should definitely have a look for yourself because there's waaay more interesting data and pictures on their site than I could possibly hope to unpack in a single blog post. These students really did an amazing job of mapping the spirit of the city in a way that traditional cartography never could. And don't forget to check out the Gallery, featuring drawings of SF maps and neighborhoods from study participants. This one looks like a dinosaur!
 
Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

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