Downtown

Corporate Street Art That Doesn't Completely Suck

I’m told some chalk-painter bro spent 8 days to make this in Justin Herman Plaza.  Eight Days!  Chalk!  Pretty impressive.  feels like I’m there and about to be molested by a smiling mamma grizz and her cub.

Anyways, thank you Canada for wasting some of your marketing budget in San Francisco.  Smooches <3

Historical Evidence Supports the 'Air as SF's Soundtrack' Theory

As previously reported on UA, Air is being touted by the YouTube/Vimeo communities as the soundtrack of San Francisco.  Newly uncovered evidence suggests that it may also be the soundtrack of impending doom (via big fucking natural disasters).

Historians and silent film archivists have deduced from trade papers of the period, visible weather conditions in film and the wetness of the streets (ie: MAGIC) that this footage of Market Street was shot on April 14th, 1906; just four days before the great quake of 1906 struck and ruined everybody’s Spring Break.

This shit is like Shanghai at rush hour but with less car accidents, opression and MSG.  The bystanders in this film obviously had Spring Break fever; CAN’T YOU SEE HOW WILD THEY’RE GOING?   This was further enraged by the presence of the camera crew and their promises of “Ladies Gone Lusty” tweed jackets if beezies flashed them their knickers.  Note the early 20th Century attention-whore Marina Bro at 4:35 who drunkenly zig-zags in front of the moving cable car.

A side by side comparison of this film and what Market St. looked like after the quake can be seen here.  BUMMER.

Free zipline rides in Justin Herman Plaza starting tomorrow!

So, I don’t know about you all, but I’m definitely doing this.

Urban Zip-Line Coming to San Francisco! Zoom 600 Feet Over Justin Herman Plaza for Free

Those people in British Columbia, they like to have fun. So, in order to get you to think about taking your next vacay up in the Great White, they’re going to install a 600-foot-long zip-line* in Embarcadero Square and run it for eleven days starting April 8th, 2010. And, assuming you meet their physical requirements (It looks like I’ll qualify, but 280-pound Epic Beard Man Thomas Bruso probably won’t), you’ll be able to harness up and go for a 200-yard ride FOR FREE.

Imagine zooming over the giant white tent hey’re constructing for Peter Pan (opening April 27th!) at neighboring Sue Bierman Park.

(via sfcitizen)

Thanks, Canada! I doubt I’ll ever go up there to vacation, but the awesome free zipline ride will be much appreciated.

Vintage Expo at the Concourse today!

 As was the case with 50% off day at Community Thrift, I am semi-reluctant to tell the legions of Uptown Almanac readers about the Vintage Expo today, for fear of fierce competition for all the good shit. Unfortunately though, I know I’m too broke to do any real shopping damage today, so I welcome the rivalry from my fellow vintage and retro devotees!

The Vintage Expo is held at the Concourse (635 8th Street x Brannan) until 5pm today. Admission is $10, but students get in free with school ID. There’ll be 80ish vendors with clothing, textiles, jewelry and accessories spanning from the Victorian era to the seventies. From what I’ve heard, prices are steep but the selection is well-edited. More info is on the official website.

Rub 'em Titties

spieri_sf was downtown and would like to share:

 March 16th: I doubt that there are many cities in the world were pink bike riders surround you throughout lunch time and just do this because they have fun. Taken in front of the Ferry Building in San Francisco. Yes, San Francisco - where else?

(link)

The Financial District means business.

 

Dear Guy in Starbucks,

I applaud you. No. That’s not enough. I’ll give you a standing ovation. No. I will start the Wave at a football game for you.

Here you are in your new home office/local Starbucks. You tested the limits of technology. The outlet is on the ceiling, what’d you say? “Fuck that, gravity is on my side.” Sir, you don’t even think twice about not owning a cell phone. I mean, why would you?  You have your house phone that can easily travel with you. You also (sadly, so, so, sadly, not pictured) came prepared with your tighter-than-skin-tight Under Armour shirt and sweatpants pulled up to your chest. Your whole Saturday evening was just a treat to yourself which turned out to be a treat to myself, as well. Thank you, sir. Thank you for this moment that I will cherish for about another week and then forget all about. I hope your business does well in 2010, and if I ever hear a dial tone again, I’ll think of you.

Love,

Your not so secret admirer because my name is right up there at the top of this post. Hi.

Lacoste Accostes Fixie Culture

I was on one of my rare trips downtown today so I could chill out with my favorite doctor (read: have a bunch of blood jacked from my arm for some sketchy tests).  I figured while being a little down on blood and hungry for some capitalism, I should take a solitary stroll around Union Square.  It was going so beautifully: a crackhead asking for change here, a Marina girl who couldn’t, like, possibly understand why Joe dumped her last night there.  Then all the sudden I spotted a loaf of Wonder Bread straight off the Kennedy Compound whimsically riding fixies because, shit, it’s summer-line time.

Buzz kill.

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