Dolores Park

Four Loko Brand Reps. Host Flash Rave in Dolores Park, Local McNimbydouche Gets Fucking Pissed

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Four brand representatives enthusiasts of the the buzz-worthy hipster malt beverage, Four Loko, threw down a 3 hour DJ set atop of Tallboy Terrace Saturday evening.  Best described as “fucking sick,” the party, between frequent shout-outs to “Four Loko,” “Four Loko Party Pack!,” and “Who's Loko?!,” featured music from the movie Lion King and television show “Cops,” a girl wearing a leather jacket and zebra tights double-fisting Pacificos, a couple straight outta Cape Cod, scores of dancing hipsters and one adorably pissed-off puppy:

Of course, the highlight of the party was the sideline dancers:

Inevitably, Local NcMimbydouche called the police to have the fun shut down.  Five squad cars and one police van rolled up to Dolores, assembled in attack formation and shut it down.

    

To the SFPD's credit, they actually seemed quite friendly and reasonable; not giving the DJs a hard time.  In the midst of the police “dealing with the situation,” Local McNimbydouche (pictured below) crawled out of his palace of boredom wearing his Yale sweatshirt and sweatpants to walk up to the police and DJs, point some fingers, and generally act like the stereotypical neighborhood asshole who believes he owns the park because he lives across the street.

In short, great party, fuck that dude.

UPDATE: in related news, check out “Man Gets 'Way Gone' at Four Loko Flash Dance in Dolores Park”

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Toad & Salmon's Chilibowl 6 + Other crap to do this weekend

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

If you missed last year's Chilibowl at Potrero del Sol, it was 'fucking tight' and definitely worth checking out this year.  To quote what I wrote about the occasion last summer:

The Chilibowl was an incredible way to squander away a Saturday afternoon: water balloons full of beer, a blood geyser coming out of a guy’s head, filthy jokes from the announcers, a punk band playing awesome songs like “you are dead, motherfucker” and “crack on Mission St.” within a few dozen yards of a playground full of children, and, of course, skateboarding.

That's right, not only is the Chilibowl full of shittalking and blood, it's at Potrero del Sol, which is just like Dolores Park without the cops, trash and whiny neighbors.  If you want to get psyched up for a good time, check out this crappy iPhone video I shot + edited last year with some weak-ass Dan the Automator track dumped on top of it:

If skateboarding sounds like too much fun and you'd rather do more of the same old shit, a bunch of local businesses are shutting down 18th from Dolores to Guerrero so you can drink wine and eat food on the pavement near Dolores Park, as opposed to the urine-soaked grass you usually enjoy.  (link)

The Muni & Dolores Park Through Time

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

One of my favorite things on the internets is when old dudes upload a few hundred classic shots of San Francisco to Flickr so I can squander a few hours looking at them.  This afternoon, I had the good fortune of noticing that “petespix75” put up a gang of pictures from the 1950's to the present day (side note: Pete has traveled the world by bike, plane, train and boat and never stopped taking rad pictures).  I particularly dug all his photos of the J Church rolling through Dolores Park because 1) it's always neat to see a bunch of Muni shots from the same location, 2) I spend a mess of my free time in DP already and 3) it amuses me to see that throughout history, the city actually used to maintain Dolores Park.  I mean, fuck, look at that grass!  And flowers!  Hell, there is even a picture of a gardener watering the grass.  I cannot remember the last time I've seen liquid that wasn't piss or Olde English get dumped on Dolores soil by man.  Anyway, if you like what you see here, be sure to browse through his other SF photos (also, he's got some mean Boston photos too):

June 1963

June 1963

June 1963

June 1963

Mission Dolores in May 1963

Mission Dolores in May 1963

Oct. 1981

Oct. 1981

June 1983

June 1983

June 1983

June 1983

(all photos by petespix75.  Each photo linked directly to its Flickr page)

300 Hipsters Resist Police Control of Dolores Park

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Last night was certainly a showdown in Dolores.  At 10pm, the cops rolled through the park to kick everyone out, only to immediately head out to 22nd and Capp South Van Ness to deal with an outbreak of gang violence.  At 11:30, as Dolores Park neighbor and reader Michael noted, the police came back in greater numbers to finish the job:

The police closed the park at 11:30 with multiple cop cars, sirens, megaphones, etc.  A cop-woman was shouting for 20 minutes straight in a plaintive tone.  About 300 people stayed to protest, and the cops just kept shining bright lights at them until they left… sad state of affairs. The Sept .1 community meeting should be a fucking hoot…

You know what was more disruptive than the sound of partiers? Sirens and megaphones. Egads.

A quick Twitter search indicates there was also a Rolling Stones sing-a-long during the protest.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Notice Anything Different in Dolores Park Lately?

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

That's right, the big-ass Green trailer has moved on to greener pastures and no longer provides a fabulous wall to pee on/an elevated view of Tallboy Terrace.  Let's hope they replace it with something better, like a half-pipe or a liquor store whose proprietor is a 55-year-old Vietnam vet who indiscriminately yells “Cold Beer, Cold Water” at everyone who enters the store.

Just Your Average Sunday in San Francisco

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Man, what a Sunday.  In what had to have been the first sunny day in San Francisco since 1997, there was an endless supply of great things to do.  A nice bike ride along Ocean Beach during Sunday Streets, checking out the vendors and bands at Rock Make in the Mission, rocking out to They Might Be Giants and Rouge Wave at Stern Grove, maybe just a peaceful, albeit traffic infested bike ride along the coast in Marin.  Or you could have, yet again, just hung out with thousands of your coolest friends in Dolores Park to witness to the day's ultimate freak show.

UPDATE: SFPD Now Doing Hourly Dirt Bike Patrols in Dolores Park, Leaving Two Officers Stationed Throughout the Day

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

The scene from 2 weeks ago.

As you may remember, nearly two weeks ago we reported that SFPD was renewing their campaign against fun with dirt bike cops rolling through Dolores Park on a chill Friday afternoon.  Well, it turns out that two weeks ago was only the beginning and the cops are now taking more drastic measures.  Starting at lunch today, reader Paul S. noted “cops are riding dirt bikes through the park. I want a moped to ride through their living rooms.”  He followed up saying that the cops were riding through the park “at least once an hour” and “going from group-to-group to see what they were up to.”

“What was remarkable about it was that in was a mellow Wednesday afternoon.  No one was even drinking heavily. […] The cops were riding in groups of two, one group on each side of the park.  After they were done bothering everybody, two of the cops would ride off and the other two would go to the top of the hill at the pedestrian bridge and just sit there watching everyone.  An hour later, the other two cops would come back and they would sweep the park again.”

While we're not an activist organization, rumors have it that NIMBYs are using the recent stabbing to pressure the parks department and SFPD into cracking down on weed, beer and cigarettes.  So far, they seem to be winning.  So feel free to contract these individuals if you want to let them know you do not support SFPD disturbing the peace and a couple of geezers trying to push their agenda on tens of thousands on San Franciscans:

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Dolores Park Bike Swap Meat

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

The announcement of this bicycle commerce party deserves to be shared just because of their epic poster:

The Dolores Park swap loosely organized. 10am is the official start time, but some sellers may be setting up early. to sell, just show up with a blanket and some stuff to flip. to buy, bring cash monie$.You might want some PBR and sunglasses, since you are at DP.

The last one was set up on the main concrete walkway that leads to the bathrooms from 19th street and Dolores. but previous swaps were just on the grass. I’d say its likely to be on the concrete again?

(link.  via benjaminjtaylor)

How to Win at Dolores Park

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

This dude has single-handedly redefined what it means to chill in Dolores Park: hanging out by himself, dressed to best, lounging in a beach chair while strumming his guitar.  If he didn't bring home a gang of groupies at the end of the day, I'm going to be severely disappointed in humanity.

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