Being Cool

Dolores Park Gets a Make-Over, Still Looks Like a Cheap Hooker

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

I know anything about Dolores Park and grass growing is a little too boring and newsy but I spend far too much time at this park so fuck it.

Peep this: just ahead of prime picking-up-chicks-while-drinking-Olde-English season, Dolores Park Works takes shit to task, making numerous of long-overdue improvements to the park.  More trash cans, signage, and trash compactors—a whole mess of new crap to spray-paint:

1. More trash receptacles. RPD recently installed a number of 4-can pods of concrete trash receptacles along the Dolores Street, including blue ones for recyclables (plastic, cans, glass). Be sure to note that a 4-foot red strip has been painted on the adjoining curb and two white lines have been painted on the street to signal to car owners that a change had been made. This ensures that Sunset Scavenger has access. Woo Hoo! No more trash piled on the ground next to an overflowing trash can!

2. Landscaping at 18th & Dolores. Our gateway should sparkle and welcome everyone to Dolores Park, don’t you think? It’s gone from a dirt patch to beautifully landscaped with irrigation.

Within a year, the plants will fill in and grace this corner with colorful plants. RPD will also soon re-seed the bare spots around 18th and 19th and Dolores.

3. New signage. Have you noticed the hand-painted Litter-Me-Not signs on the main steps at 19th & Dolores? Eight grade students in Paula Ginsburg’s Special Ed class at Everett MIddle School made these signs for us. You can also see them all around Everett Middle School, Mission High School, the tennis courts, and now at the main entrance to Dolores Park. Just a friendly reminder to well, not litter.

(MORE INFO)

Really though, looks solid.  Looking forward to spring so I can ride my bike 4 blocks, get fortied, become irritated at the line for the single bathroom and subsequently water a palm tree.  Just kidding, I only soil the homes of park neighbors while scratching records on my “amplified devices.”

The Best Flier I've Seen All Year

— By Brizz |

 

Sorry Mission-dwellers, NOPA-ites, and Tendernobbers, your neighborhoods have been surpassed in trendsetting hotness by the unlikeliest of places: Alameda. You all should get out there now before the New York Times gets wind of this news and ruins it for everybody. If I had any idea of how one gets to Alameda, I might even consider going myself. I don’t want to say too much about the above event, but it pops off at McGrath’s Irish Pub tomorrow, and one of the DJs/organizers is named MC Oroville. He keeps it way realer than all of you. He lives in the pictured van (The Turtle) on the streets of the Bay Area. For real. 

Local Artist "Brings It" For Babies

— By Laura B |

Now that we’ve brought you the truly horrific side of babies, I will ease our pain with some truly whimsical shit.  A nursery mural created by San Francisco artist, Michael Reed. Totoro! The golden gate! Worlds colliding! I can’t handle it! This kid is extremely lucky and will grow up to be more than alright and I’ll be the first to ask what everyone is thinking: BABY, WILL YOU MARRY ME?

(Thanks, Kristina! More detailed pics here. Oooh, you should also check out this rad woodcut Reed did for local dog saving superheroes, Rocket Dog Rescue.)

You'll never know.

— By Bailey Genine |

 

Sometimes I think the Sunset District is rotting my brain, but most of the time I just wish I had a pet sloth and some balloons. 

You Sir Are No Lady Gaga

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that it is extremely difficult to look your best while walking your fixie down Valencia St. without a pair of Ray-Ban stunners on, but maybe this is just taking it ‘too far’?  But, really, why the hell am I surprised?  Fashion always seems to be more about one-upsmanship than practicality.  So, what’s next?  Tattooing Apple ear-buds and cables to your face and chest?  An iPhone to your palm?  A giant doormat on your forehead?

Anyways, does anyone know where I can buy a flannel shirt made out of Cabbage Patch Kids?

(video proves this is not bullshit)

Local Blogger to Judge Tournament of Books, a Fight to the Death!

— By Laura B |

Meave Gallagher, who blogs at Vegansaurus, has been selected as one of the judges for The Morning News’ Tournament of Books. She is in fine company with Jason Kottke, Alex Balk, and uh, this bitch!? Anyway, congrats to Meave for achieving nationwide fame and fortune! May she buy us all mansions with her billions of dollars! That’s all any of us are in this for. That and the hookers GOD I AM DOING THIS ALL WRONG. 

Also, it would be awesome if the tournament of books included a death component, kinda like Shirley Jackson’s The Lottery. Like, you think you’ve won and then BAM! YOU’RE HELLA DEAD! Gotta teach these writers a lesson, they think they’re so special with their fancy book deals and rewarded talent GOD I AM DOING THIS ALL WRONG. 

Sunset Goings Ons!

— By Bailey Genine |

Okay, stop laughing, really. No, seriously, there are actually some neat things in the Sunset! Late last night (okay 9 pm, but whatever.) my friend called me (who are we kidding, she text me) to tell me that she and her friends were going to try out a bar in the Sunset called The Riptide. It’s pretty far out there, Taraval at (gasp) 46th, but let me tell you, it was well fucking worth it.

I managed to grab the 29 down Sunset and then ran-walked down 9 blocks to 46th (for warmth, it’s like, cold over here by the coast). When I arrived, I walked in to find a dance floor to my left, and some tables to the right. My friends were already at the tables, but since we’re the lucky girls that we are, the dance party came to us! No joke, we were asked to dance ON THE BAR three times, and each time we declined, the guy did a little jig in front of us, which appeared to be some sort of Riverdance/Moonwalk combo. I’m assuming, in his head, he was convinced that his performance would make us to want to dance too, but no such luck (sorry, guy!).

I went to find The Riptide’s website and found the most basic, boring thing in the entire world, so I wouldn’t recommend you checking out their website (who wants to do that anyway), but instead to check out the actually damn bar. It’s small, it’s local, and they play the best fucking music ever. Plus some chicks hooked up in the bathroom and one girl tried to pee in the walk-in fridge. Oh, and they have some little video-poker-like game thing, and duh, great drinks.

Alright kids, now go out and have fun.

[For more information and reviews check out The Riptide’s Yelp page.] 

Oh Nog You Didn't! Plus, a quiz!

— By Laura B |

this is the sign that my awesome boyfriend made for our entry in the holiday nog in at Fabric8. first of all, fuck you for making fun of how gay we are for entering a nog in, JEALOUS and B) i was very disappointed by the other contestants nog names…bullshit like, “beautiful egg nog.” really? it’s like they didn’t even CARE.

finally, you and sean connery are the last two people on earth. do you:

A) girl, i’d do him right here, right now!

B) taking one for the team. i must be strong when others are weak/dead.

C) get that pre-historic dick away from me I’LL DIE HERE I’LL DO IT.

If you answered anything other than C, you’ve got some serious dad (possibly grandpa) issues that you should try to resolve stat. Gross but common.

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