this is the sign that my awesome boyfriend made for our entry in the holiday nog in at Fabric8. first of all, fuck you for making fun of how gay we are for entering a nog in, JEALOUS and B) i was very disappointed by the other contestants nog names…bullshit like, “beautiful egg nog.” really? it’s like they didn’t even CARE.

finally, you and sean connery are the last two people on earth. do you:

A) girl, i’d do him right here, right now!

B) taking one for the team. i must be strong when others are weak/dead.

C) get that pre-historic dick away from me I’LL DIE HERE I’LL DO IT.

If you answered anything other than C, you’ve got some serious dad (possibly grandpa) issues that you should try to resolve stat. Gross but common.