Barking Dog Gets Owner's Ass Beat in Alamo Square

 Reader “mailorders” snapped this epic pic and shares this story:

This started out as a heated confrontation when the dog ran at the guy in the t-shirt, threateningly barking.  This dog has a history of being noisy and somewhat unruly; I don't think that he's dangerous, but if somebody doesn't know dogs, they're bound to think that the dog is about to attack. His guardian, the guy with the buzz cut got mouthy and even as the guy in the t-shirt was walking away, the dog continued to follow him, barking all the time. I guess it escalated from there.

There you go people.  Don't own a dog.  Thanks mailorders!

Is GRUB Actually Going to Open?

Reader Rob C. peeped this last night.  After years of sitting by idly, it looks like they are finally picking out their wine list, which implies they'll be opening in 2-72 months.  Since this place appears to not be interested in serving Charles Shaw and PBR (dudes in suits), I'll probably never get around to trying it out.  Also, I'm fucking livid that they're considering opening because that door was always a solid graffiti target.  Tears.

OUT SIDE ART Block Party Promises to "Finish" The Banksy "Mural"

Today Uptown Almanac is partnering with the Make a Wish Foundation to make Blah's wish come true:

Chris Orr was asking me to post about this on his radio show last week.  At the time, I figured I'd wait until the week of the event to post it up, but I don't want to disappoint our audience.

You can find out more about the event on its facebook page (warning: facebook just redesigned their event page and it looks awful and just reading it makes my eyes bleed).  There will be a bunch of DJs and people “finishing” the mural that Banksy “started.”  As reader Milu noticed, local artist Chor Boogie already started:

See y'all there!

Just Your Average Thursday in Dolores Park

I was hanging out all by my lonesome in dolo yesterday afternoon, so I figured I'd amuse myself by taking photos of people with an unfortunate sense of style.  After photographing myself for half an hour, I spotted this bro with an arrow shaved into the side of his head.  I pondered posting this with the subject line “Is this the 'I'm with stupid' haircut?,” figuring that our beloved commenters would fill me in on how they can write this blog better themselves.  Unbeknownst to me at the time, some circus act was rolling by in the background.

Happy goddamn weekend everyone.

HARD-HITTING COFFEE SHOP COVERAGE: Blue Fig Coming Soon

BIG FUCKING NEWS GUYS: THERE'S A COFFEE SHOP OPENING UP ON VALENCIA ST.  IT'S ABOUT GODDAMN TIME.

Now that I have that out of my system, I popped my head in there yesterday.  The ghost of American Apparel's hopes and dreams will be bagels, sandwiches, salads and caffeine.  We can only hope that the bagels will be overnighted from the east coast daily.  Sorry for the crappy pic, but by “popped my head in there,” I really meant “I took some shitty pictures of the menu from the street” because I'm an antisocial fucktard.

Cool Kid Products: Great Jugs of Wine

Man's consumption of wine has always made tits look bigger.  But for the first time ever, it's the girl's own drinking that does the job! (I SHOULD WRITE COPY FOR THESE ASSHOLES, AMIRITE?)  Thanks to the mad genius who invented this, I just went from total sleaze to Sommelier.  The 'Wine Rack' bra is possibly the greatest thing ever, at least since my uncle Larry got his head gear stuck in a cooler and accidently invented the beer hat.  

This sports bra looking contraption contains a reservoir that holds AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF WINE (750ml), which is such a ridiculously large amount that it can “turn an A cup in to double Ds” and will inevitably lead to the complete collapse of the boob-job industry (surgery or booze? NO BRAINER).  According to Daily Mail, it's also “popular with New Jersey students” which is a total fucking shocker.  

BeforeAfter

Next Day

Bevan Dufty Unfit to be Mayor

Noe Valley SF reports that the Noe Street Plaza has been shot down in favor of the small parklets that have been going up around the city.  Even though this isn't entirely Dufty's fault and he's clearly going to receive the majority of the blame, the whole escapade demonstrates his inability to lead.  During a recent community meeting on the subject, Dufty could not control the floor and let screaming neighbors run the show.  The net effect of this failure was the “compromise” that was just reached in Noe Valley:

We are excited to report that of all the different ideas talked about over the past few months, Parklets on 24th Street have gained the most support in Noe Valley (a survey at the June 30th workshop, for example, demonstrated 3 to 1 support for this proposal). Parklets do not affect traffic circulation and instead use two parking spaces to build out a deck for landscaping, tables and chairs, and other pedestrian elements (see sfpavementtoparks.sfplanning.org for images of Parklets in other parts of town). If all goes to plan, we would like to add two Parklets along 24th Street this Fall. We will be working with the merchant community to identify the most suitable locations but it is important to note that these spaces will be open and free to use by anyone. As in all Pavement to Parks projects, these Parklets will be trial and closely monitored for success. If they do not work out, they will be removed.

So basically a bunch of whiny car drivers derailed what would have been a positive addition to Noe Valley.  Instead, we'll get a place were people briefly hang out then move along (given my experience with the parklet on 22nd, it is not a comfortable space to spend any more time than it takes to eat a slice of pizza).  Oh, and it will probably be removed when people complain about losing parking spaces.

This is the second massive failure we're seen in the past 6 months from the Supervisor's office.  He largely punted the Dolores Park renovation outrage and presided over another joke of a public meeting on that subject.  Worst of all, he promised there would be a followup meeting in June to discuss planning for the Dolores Park renovations.  That meeting never occurred.

A man who cannot control crowds and show leadership on important, divisive issues does not deserve to be our mayor.  The fact he even considers himself qualified is shocking.

I applaud your self-esteem Bevan, but why don't you sit this one out so we don't have to endure another 4 years of incompetence.

Tech Nerds: East of Mission St. Isn't the Mission

Some startup bros recently made a 'helpful' map for aspiring entrepreneurs telling them where they should plant their next VC-funded failure.  The idea behind the map isn't necessarily bad, but the descriptions of each location demonstrates a basic lack of familiarity of San Francisco and some really fucked up low-level racism.  For example, how could some “<3” the Mission but not include anything east of Mission or south of 24th on the map?  Because it's dangerous at night?  Gringo, please.  Just because there are more brown people and hookers east of Mission doesn't mean it is particularly dangerous.  In fact the Mission, if anything, is safer than all the other fun neighborhoods.  Also, “hipsters on Valencia sometimes obnoxious”?  Really?  Maybe they look obnoxious, but I rarely see “hipsters” just running around trying to directly piss people off.  To me, it just sounds like you were just the kid no one ever invited to the party.