Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem

Cornhole!

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

We've been hearing rumors that everyone's favorite dive-themed bar Dr. Teeth had set-up a cornhole pitch on their patio, but never made it back there to see for ourselves.  And what a mistake that was.

They've got a nice terraced astroturf lawn for you to spill your drink on, two boards, and a whole bunch of bean bags to whip at your friends when they aren't looking.  It's all the fun that you come to expect with southern lawn games, without having to make friends with the randoms who bring cornhole to Dolores Park.  Plus, you get to play while sucking down PBR tallboys and feasting on a plate of sweet potato tater tots.  That is to say, it's pretty much the perfect way to spend daylight hours at a bar.

(If you're curious, Alissa effortlessly whooped my ass two games to one.  I'm not much into losing, so I guess I'm not much into cornhole.)

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Celebrate Skeeball's Arrival with a Charity Skeeball Tourney at Dr. Teeth

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

As we mentioned last week, a skeeball machine was spotted hanging out outside of Rhea's during Sunday Streets.  And this made us freak out.  Why?  Because we love skeeball, damnit, and we aren't particularly down with biking out to the Richmond to play.

Well, the machine's owner, noted skeeball champ Joey the Cat, has found a permanent home for it right in Dr. Teeth's backyard and they're celebrating its arrival with a cancer research fundraiser TONIGHT before Broke-Ass Stuart's party.  Joey fills us in:

Our dreams have come true and I found a home for the skeeball machine: Dr. Teeth. To kick off the machine being placed in the newly renovated backyard AND raise money for blood cancer research (who's not doing that right now?!), I'm hosting a Charity Skeeball Tournament with a bunch of prizes and fun.

Here are the details:
6PM registration / 7PM Tourney Starts / 9PM Trophy Ceremony
Prizes: Sol Republic Headphones (value: $99) - $25 Gift Card to Mission Bicycle - 3 Sony Dashes - One Free Skeeson of Brewskee-ball -  Other Goodies

The tourney is free to enter, but they'll be charging $1 per game (all of which is donated to blood cancer research, of course).  Also, THERE'S SKEEBALL IN THE MISSION NOW.

[Thanks, Joey!]

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Muppet Bar Famous For Lacking Muppets to Feature Muppets For One Night Only

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

All PBRs to receive complimentary mustache ride.

If Yelp is an indication of what normal people think of local establishments (it's not), then the lack of muppets, puppets, and uniform flannel-shirted alcoholics is a serious issue for Dr. Teeth's credibility.  Lucky for the bar's pro-Muppet detractors, the bar is host to a puppet-filled music video premiere this Saturday.  Kori fills us in:

My friend Adele and I wanted to make a music video featuring puppets. We weren't commissioned to create it—-we just thought it would be fun.

We picked Anita Ward's “Ring My Bell” for the music. This means the video probably won't be allowed on YouTube, but whatever.  The video features puppets (Lucy and Mr. Pink) that I purchased and made. The couple hangs out in the Mission after meeting on “OkStupid.” We filmed all around the Mission including Dolores Park, where random park-goers were eager to participate.

We also filmed at the new bar, Mayhem, on Mission and 19th. The owners have been nice enough to allow us to celebrate the video and screen it there this Saturday night around 9:30.

Here's a taste of hold you over / confuse the hell out of you:

And if we're lucky, we might see a cameo by Summer Santa and his 38-year-old BART card:

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

A Look Inside Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

The newly opened Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem is certainly shaping up to be an interesting bar.  Early reviewers on Yelp hate it, so they're probably doing something right.  The food's good, the beer prices are within the margin, and they're currently building out a giant outdoor patio with terraced seating so you can spend lazy Sunday's drinking outdoors and watching a Giants game. But beyond the bar's name and signage, this place has nothing to do with The Muppets, which apparently some people take issue with.

The bar's owner, Mark, says it's mainly a legal thing.  Disney sued some 80 businesses last year for infringing on the Muppets trademark.  So rather risk a lawsuit by having an unsanctioned Muppet bar, the interior is literally a bunch of dental office artifacts (down to the bucket of lollipops and toys) and electrical mayhem [pictured above].  And while that may bum a bunch of people out, at least they're being clever about it.

But really, anyone who is coming here for the interior is severely missing the point: the food is the jam.  The sweet potato tater tots are reason enough to eat here over other Mission bar n' grills, but they have plenty other options.  Waffle fries, a house-made veggie burger (which is on the level of Bender's black bean burger and far better than Zeitgeist's), various sandwiches and salads, and an entire tater tot menu that includes tatchos.  That's right, a goddamn tater tot nacho plate.  And for those of you interested in burning your mouth and crying while you eat, they even have a ghost pepper hot sauce that they make you sign a waiver to eat:

The final highlight is the bar's reverse happy hour, which is a free pony Pacifico with every shot ordered after 10pm on Thursdays thru Sundays.  And perhaps that's what makes this place tick: doing things differently.  It's by no means a typical Mission dive bar, and never claims to be.  Sure, the place is modern; but it does a few things right, namely feeding you and getting you drunk.  If that's what's most important, then this place will do you right.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: