Back in October, it was revealed that Pabst Brewing's new douchebro owners were working with Snoop Dogg to develop a line of flavored Colt 45.  Everyone rightfully rolled their eyes at the obvious attempt to go after the controversy-plagued Sparks/Four Loko/fortified wine market.  After all, strawberry lemonade is anything but beer—it's a Juicy Juice flavor.  But we were able to get our hands on a case of the prototype “Blast by Colt 45” and, well, my expectations of this 12.5% ABV fruity monstrosity tasting like wolf piss were wrong.

A few of us took a few bottles to Dolores Park the other day to give the grape and blueberry pomegranate flavors a spin.  Honestly, Blast tastes pretty mediocre straight out of the bottle. Having it on the rocks helps, but the idea of drinking malt liquor on the rocks deeply disturbs me and makes me fear for the future of our country.

Finally, after thinking that Blast was merely 'meh', we decided to cut it with some 7up and, honestly, it made the booze the fucking game.  Apparently Colt 45 intends to start shipping this stuff to bodegas soon, but I hope for their sake they lower the ABV and put some more carbonation in it because if they do, it'll be a game changer.  The mix goes tastes just like grape soda and blue raspberry Slush Puppies.  The Marin Institute will blow a circuit over it.  Rappers in Ohio will be rhyming in the streets.  High schoolers everywhere will be getting alcohol poisoning.  It'll be fantastic.

When a malt liquor turns your tongue blue, you know know it's the jam.

To be clear, when I first tasted Four Loko a year ago, I thought it was proof that God loves us and wants our vomit to smell like rotten watermelon.  I drank Sparks by the case in college.  And I'm more apt to reach for a Sunkist than a Coke.  Perhaps that makes me biased.  However, all the other Four Loko fiends that tasted this stuff agreed: Colt 45 has upped the high fructose corn syrup beer game.