I have no idea who that Marky Mark-looking bro serving up that cup of mistakes is, but the idea of getting wasted off an Arnold Palmer sure sounds appealing right now.

It appears Sparks is trying to 'get back into the game' and go after the prized “let's get wasted off flavored malt liquor and vomit watermelon everywhere” market created by Joose and Four Loko. Sparks Flavors promises to help you “show the night who's boss” by letting you get wasted off of lemonade, iced tea, and “blackberry ultraviolet”-flavored beer.  No word yet if any of this is actually good, as there's almost nothing floating around the shitternets about their latest concoction.  In fact, the only review I could find of the new drink is from this incoherent train wreck, whose Rebecca Black-level awkwardness is only upstaged by the video's basement setting, prolonged moments of exposed tongue, and first-round of American Idol-caliber singing:

Despite the Sparks' failure to get the word out, the marketing descriptions on the MillerCoors website sure are choice:

• Sparks Lemonade provide [sic] a unique twist to the alcoholic lemonade category.
• Sparks Blackberry features an exciting combination of blackberry and citrus flavors.
• SPARKS Iced Tea has invigoratingly fresh, non-caffeinated iced tea flavor brewed with a hint of lemon.

Oh boy, my mouth is already watering.

[pic by yvynyl]