— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Mission girls—you know the type: lurking around Pop's, Uptown, The Attic, and Delirium, turning our buses into bathrooms and Tumblr into reality television. For better or worse, they seem to be doing just fine, but UA reader “Jane D” shares with us a brief bit of advice for the indifferent generation:
Remember graduating from highschool, the apple of your family’s eye, and knowing that you were strong and beautiful and intelligent? The world was your Oysterfest. And not with this year’s weakass lineup, but Oysterfest 2k10 when Cake and The Ravonettes played. That was the world and you had a backstage pass.
But this year we are at The Phone Booth and you are not making eye contact with me. Your focus seems to be split between monitoring the door (you are waiting for someone who has maybe a medium likelihood of showing up) and the pool table, where dudes with assorted hair lengths and scruff stand around smoking and looking single.
What have you been up to since we last hung out? Oh, the skater-ey dude wound up suggesting a threesome with one of your friends. It’s lame, but you’d consider sleeping with him again. And Dude Who Might Show Up Later… well, might show up later, but he’s anti-relashe.You are so many young (and frankly, not so young) women that I know in my neighborhood. You are all beautiful, well-educated, potentially interesting people who, instead of being awesome, sit around vying for the attention of marginally literate turds who likely don’t have all that much attention to pay in the first place: smelly skateboarders, band dudes, bike messengers (bless their souls). These guys, cool as they may be, probably aren’t going to add much to conversation or interact with you in a mellow, adult way when push comes to shove.
(Trust me. I’ve slept with all of them.)I’m not saying don’t sleep with dudes. For christ's sake, sleep with dudes. Or whoever. I’m saying, this shit shouldn’t be the only reason you live and breathe. I’m not trying to fly some sort of high-horse feminist flag, but you guys are so much better than obsessing over these shitheads. If nothing else, it’s really unattractive.
Comments (14)
+1
This is awesome but… really, in 2012 a woman addressing other women has to say “I’m not trying to fly some sort of high-horse feminist flag”? Is any mention of “feminism” really so terrifying?
The reverse could also be said. How you can imply the women have something to offer and the men don’t? In my experience the little self-obsessed cuties staring into their cell phones actually have very little to offer besides sex…hence their attraction to men of the same ilk.
Basically reminds me of this: http://www.theonion.com/articles/female-friends-spend-raucous-night-vali…
This is all (reasonably) fair & valid, but I don’t believe that a person’s character & their interests or dive bars of choice are truly mutually exclusive.
You had me jumping up and down and stomping my feet, shouting hallelujah! like some sweaty fetid Baptist revival…..until you got to: “but you guys are so much better than obsessing over these shitheads. If nothing else, it’s really unattractive.” Your brush is way too wide. Just because they’re not back home doesn’t mean that they’ve learned to trade up. She may be here, but her mind is still stone-cold Shacktown. Cities give us the opportunity to reinvent ourselves, but if people don’t, it’s a wasted bus ticket.
The problem is that this generation is more concerned with how we are instead of ‘who we are’.
Is there anything about this specific to the Mission? Seems like you could just swap the neighborhood references out and cross out a couple stereotypes, and this would apply anywhere.
In other words: Have some self-respect. It’ll make you more attractive.
This is the opposite of a “feminist” rant (though it is most definitely “high-horse” flag waving), actually, it’s more like slut-shaming bullshit. Who gives a flying fuck what ~Mission Girls~ do with their time? Why not offer some holier-than-thou advice to these “marginally literate turd” dudez in the first place?
There is some truth in this. I know a lot of great women who dumb themselves down, get emotionally involved, and are constantly disappointed with mission dudes, or bro’s from other neighborhoods.
this just in, women with low self-esteem bone douchebag dudes….
“Girls”
i think a lot of this comes from the transient nature of the SF experience and the fact that a lot of people here are afraid to get attached and settle down. As a young man, I always preferred long-term monogamous relationships and entered most relationships with the hope that it would lead to something more…..probably more to do with my intimacy issues around strangers than anything. When I moved to SF in my early 20s, I found it very hard to date because most ladies would start getting buggy when they realized that despite my interests, I was actually up for something more ‘real’ than they were used to. More often than not, this involved some early passion followed by some flaky interactions before the ‘relationship’ dwindled to nothing. Most of the time, they wouldn’t even take the ‘if you’re not into this, I’m totally cool with calling it quits’ bait and opted for some pointless back-and-forth ‘but I really like you’ nonsense while they were hooking up with my friends who fit the stereotypes described above….all the while crying about heartbreak and the lack of good single men in SF. Most of these women partied for a few years before moving back home and settling down with a long lost local love. Thankfully, I found a lady who was on the tail end of dating unemployed taggers/cyclists/moped enthusiasts/fairweather thrash fans and plan on never having to run the SF dating gauntlet again.