— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
I have no idea who that Marky Mark-looking bro serving up that cup of mistakes is, but the idea of getting wasted off an Arnold Palmer sure sounds appealing right now.
It appears Sparks is trying to 'get back into the game' and go after the prized “let's get wasted off flavored malt liquor and vomit watermelon everywhere” market created by Joose and Four Loko. Sparks Flavors promises to help you “show the night who's boss” by letting you get wasted off of lemonade, iced tea, and “blackberry ultraviolet”-flavored beer. No word yet if any of this is actually good, as there's almost nothing floating around the shitternets about their latest concoction. In fact, the only review I could find of the new drink is from this incoherent train wreck, whose Rebecca Black-level awkwardness is only upstaged by the video's basement setting, prolonged moments of exposed tongue, and first-round of American Idol-caliber singing:
Despite the Sparks' failure to get the word out, the marketing descriptions on the MillerCoors website sure are choice:
- Sparks Lemonade provide [sic] a unique twist to the alcoholic lemonade category.
- Sparks Blackberry features an exciting combination of blackberry and citrus flavors.
- SPARKS Iced Tea has invigoratingly fresh, non-caffeinated iced tea flavor brewed with a hint of lemon.
Oh boy, my mouth is already watering.
Comments (10)
I’d rather just mix sweet tea vodka with lemonade….
I just had one of the blackberry, and I like it. You must take into account that I don’t like beer, nor the taste of beer. I like my alcohol to go all foo-foo like a little bunny, so take that for what it’s worth girlfriend.
Just tried the lemonade flavor…and it def tastes more like taking a bite of lemon peel than lemonade. The only perc is that its about the highest and percentage alcohol you can get at a gas station you can get it on sunday when the bible belt liquor stores are closed. Def wouldn’t be my first choice for a drink..
Sparks Lemonade has a weird taste of sunscreen, or suntan lotion. I’ll stick with Mike’s, for occasions when I don’t want to smell like beer. With either choice, brush your teeth promptly or they will melt.
Iced tea tasted nothing like iced tea. Not bad though.
I’ve had the iced tea and it’s not bad. Better than Jeremiah Weed Roadhouse Iced Tea. That crap’s a bit too icky sicky sweet for my tastes.
Just drank one for the first time. When I’m broke and low on my typical staple (vodka), I settle for fluffy 8% lemonade drinks, namely Mike’s Harder. Let me tell ya… upon first sip of Sparks limonada, I cringed at the presence of malt in the flavor, giving me nightmare flashbacks of 211 from my teenage years. However! Every subsequent chug became FAR more palatable and consumable, even… Mike’s Harder has always given me terrible heartburn, and I never get heartburn. Thanks to Sparks, I now realize why… MH = *way* too much sugar!! Taste is somewhat sacrificed with SL, but I certainly would take it over a schlocky, sickly-sweet attack of acid indigestion. 6/10
Went out friday night bout 2 4 packs of black berry, it was good. Saturday night I bought 2 four packs of lemonade, also good. Girls liked it too, so that was helpful.
Anyone else notice the blackberry makes ur poop bright neon green? I’d like to see ingredients.
Yes- bright green poop here, as well. Glad it’s not just me..