In 1956, some dead dude named Phil Foster (not to be confused with Vince Foster, also a dead dude) packed up his Brooklyn snark and nauseating accent and traveled to San Francisco, taking in the sights a breaking down our history.  He makes some choice observations, some of which may-or-may-not ring true today:

1. “San Franciscans won't be satisfied until they're a part of Brooklyn. And after seeing San Francisco, I can understand why.”
2. “[San Francisco owes] it all to the '49 Gold Rush. When they found they couldn't get rich any other way, they went and discovered gold.  While the gold lasted, everybody was busy diggin' and diggin'.  When there was no gold left, they found they were stuck with 14 hills of dirt.”
3. “Say what you will about San Francisco, but you have to admit one thing: it has everything any visitor could want, especially transportation back home.”

Between all these nuggets of wisdom, Phil marvels at people struggling to climb hills, demonstrates how San Francisco men are forced to chase after fallen groceries rolling down hills, makes some vaguely racist comments about the residents of Chinatown, and notes how Chinese women are like Brooklyn women (they eat and talk on the phone a lot).  Oh dear.