Very important San Francisco culture blog Uptown Almanac announced today that they're foregoing the usual tradition of posting sarcastic, fake posts for American comedy holiday “April Fools Day.” 

After a seemingly unending exchange of uninspired ideas among Uptown authors, the group decided to just skip the holiday altogether. Some rejected ideas included:

“Local Blogger: Seapunk 'Really Not That Interesting'”

“Guy Fieri's Stolen Lamborghini Found At Esta Noche”

“Mission Bar Owners Don't Really Mind Taggers; Throw Birthday Party for FEB!”

“Critical Mass Announces Reorganization: Becoming A Parade of Naked Rollerbladers Called 'Critical Ass'”

“Benders Phases Out PBR: Whiskey Wednesday Now 'Pimms Cup Wednesday'”

Editor Kevin Montgomery claimed, “I just didn't see the point in doing another tired 'So and So Died' or '[Trendy Neighborhood Business] Bought Out By [Chain Retailer]' story again.”

Contributor Zach Perkins offered a little more insight:

“When it comes down to it, our readers are really an intellectual bunch. They come to Uptown Almanac for hard-hitting journalism and updates about topics relevant to our community. They appreciate the tremendous effort the bloggers put into the site, and you can really see their level of engagement come through in the comments. Our readers don't deserve to be patronized with a bunch of lame jokes and fake news, even on April Fools. We respect them more than that.”

When asked whether the team would be back for April Fools next year, Montgomery was like “Uhh … maybe?”