The Great Outdoors

Beautiful and Terrifying Sunset Lights Up the Mission Before San Francisco Floods

Have you looked at Instagram in the last 10 minutes? Gazed out a window? No? Well, here's what you missed.

And the whole thing!

Growing up when I was real young, gross old people used to tell me “Red sky at night, sailor's delight.”  I guess that saying is only applicable on the East Coast, because San Francisco is about to load up a love boat full of mating pairs of every easily identifiable subculture (do I smell a Bold Italic backstory?) to carry on our fine cultural traditions.  The Department of Public Works is even giving out free sandbags to aid in keeping water out of businesses and other vital services.

If your property flooded before, there’s a good chance it could flood again,’’ DPW Director Mohammed Nuru said in a press release. “Come and get sandbags to prepare now.”

We here at Uptown Almanac also encourage you to stock up on water, Cheetos, batteries, candles and other various flammable material and cash in your remaining sick days, because it's going to be wicked wet.

Then they came for the nudes…

I warned of the slippery, oiled-up slope we were on back in April. Now the city's verdict is clear: your genitals must be shamefully concealed from sight as G-d intended.

Put them away and think of the children for once!

Nudist's last stand, San Francisco 2012

[Photo]

SF's "First Environmental Justice Park" Headed for 17th and Folsom

We've been hearing about the plans to convert a dumb parking lot at 17th & Folsom into a luscious park for a few years now.  For a while, it didn't sound like it would happen, but all that opposition has been dealt with and plans are moving forward.  SF Examiner reports:

A 31,850-square-foot parking lot at the northwest corner 17th and Folsom streets will be ripped out and replaced with a park featuring native plants, a greenhouse, butterfly gardens, 50 fruit-bearing trees, an amphitheater, a grassy area, and an interactive exercise and play area. The park also will feature bilingual and trilingual signs telling the history of the indigenous people who once inhabited the area.

…“What stands out most to me is that the community wanted not just someplace to play, but someplace to learn,” said Sarah Dennis Phillips, a planner for the project. “It also includes a focus on sustainability, with a demonstration garden to demonstrate water conservation and offer native habitat.”

…“We are looking at this as The City’s first environmental justice park,” [Oscar Grande, a community organizer] added. “We can’t just focus on bettering the environment in our surrounding community. The focus is making this a community space where environmental justice can happen in a fun and educational way.”

Read on.

Beautiful Rainbow Temporarily Entertains People Waiting in Ridiculous Lines at Trendy Mission Restaurants

Did you catch the beautiful double rainbow set against a killer SF sunset last night?  No?  Well here it is, from the top of Dolores Park:

What does it mean?  Something about light reflecting off water in the atmosphere.  But enough of that junk science, what it really meant is people were delighted with a colorful diversion while going about their usual business.  Observe:

Folks uploaded photos to Instagram, Twitter (via Instagram), Facebook (via Twitter via Instagram), Tumblr, Flickr, and Path (because, “why not”) while waiting in line for Southpaw, noting they were about to have “The. Best. BBQ. Ever.”

This guy ran out of Weird Fish and into the middle of the street to photograph the phenomenon.

Finally, back at the ever-popular 25 cent wing night at Dr. Teeth, dinner on the back patio was rudely interrupted by atmospheric freak show, forcing diners to photograph the event, call their friends to make sure they saw it, and scowl at the lack of 'liking' activity in the 47 seconds since uploading the photo. 

Did you get any photos of other human beings getting photos of G*d's majesty?  Let us know in the comments for an opportunity at being a famous Uptown Almanac commenter!

[Pano by Alex Chaffee]

Mission Street Finally Learns How to Piss Itself

I couldn't believe it: just hours ago, I was standing outside of Taqueria Cancun getting dancing tips from some wobbly crackheads when all the sudden water started bubbling up out of the concrete.  It sputtered and stank, as if it had been guzzling Pabst and Royal Gate Vodka all night and pissed itself in a moment of pure fuckititude.

Anyway, further proof that our government is full of communists trying to take our jobs.

Blue Fig Gets a Parklet

There it is, the makings of a new parklet for Blue Fig and After Life vintage.  And, in conjunction with Freewheel's and the 'Deepistan National Parklet, this will make this stretch of Valencia the only block in the city with three parklets lining it.

It's worth pointing out that this is shaping up to be a parklet dominated by commercial restaurant seating (think Cafe Revolution's and Crepe House's), rather than one of the more architecturally stunning works found at Fabric 8 or Farm:Table.  But a parklet is a parklet, amirite?

The Sunset From the Academy of Sciences Roof is Pretttty Nice

I've gone to a few NightLife events over the years, but never thought about going up on the roof at sunset.  Mistake!  You've got a perfect view of the de Young, Golden Gate Park's famed flora, and the last throes of sunlight battling the fog.  And after enjoying the show for a few minutes, you realize it's kinda cold up there and go back inside and watch baby ostriches be baby ostriches while Dan the Automator plays Dan the Automator.

Not bad. Not bad at all.

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