WALMART x AXE BODY SPRAY TEAM UP FOR A KILLER NIGHT OF 'PARTY ROCK' AT A-LIST VENUE, RUBY SKYPE.

I thought life couldn't get any better when Seattle's technological dinosaur brought Maroon 5 to San Francisco for a free show, but corporate America keeps upping the ante.  It was recently announced that Walmart has partnered AXE Body Spray to bring LMFAO to Ruby Skye tonight for free (with obligatory Facebook 'like').  And since this is a Walmart/AXE/LMFAO/Ruby Skye production, there'll be plenty of girls in tube tops from The Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen Collection pepper spraying each other with the delicious scent of aerosol Jägermeister and a disturbing quantity of guys with afros sporting tight, neon green leopard pants.

But, hey, it's free.

(In other corporate-sponsored music news, Thursday night, Drambuie (honey-whiskey-syrup distiller whose slogan is “Shredding Bagpipes Since 1745”) is bringing Thee Oh Sees to Brick & Mortar, followed by Sunglass Hut hosting Del the Funky Homosapien at Public Works two weeks later.)

This event is consistently one of my favorite San Francisco summer happenings.  It's part skateboard comp, part chili cook-off, part death metal DJ set, a whole lot of daytime 40oz consumption and yelling, with a couple pools of blood thrown in for good measure.

Just give the shaky video I took last year a quick watch:

The vid obviously doesn't tell the entire story, and, if memory serves me, there wasn't much mid-80s action movie soundtrack being bumped.  Lack of hair metal aside, this is a much better time that playing whack-a-mole with roving drum circles in Dolores Park, so grab yourself a Mr. Pickle's pesto sando and post up in Potrero del Sol Saturday afternoon.

It's been three years since the last Tour de Cupcake, the Bike Kitchen fundraiser famous for combining the mania of alleycat racing and the tranquility of mass cupcake consumption.  Despite gushing tales of glory, trying weather, and acute stomach cramps from race veterans, the Bike Kitchen hasn't put on another edition of the race since its infamous inauguration in the fall of 2008.

Well, after all the wait, Tour de Cupcake is making a comeback October 8th:

In 2008 the first TDC was held in San Francisco, CA.  The race was organized as a small fundraising event, with the hope that perhaps 75 of SF's bike messengers & alleycat enthusiasts would attend.  We were blown away when nearly 400 cyclists, including families and riders of all types showed up at the starting line.  Thanks to cupcake and cycling bloggers alike, we had a bona fide cupcake “happening”! Despite the wind and the cold, racers zipped all over the city racking up points, eating cupcakes and even taking frosting shots [shudder] when the cupcakes ran out.  The event raised over $2,00 for the Bike Kitchen, and some even say it was unofficially the largest alleycat race to have occurred in North America!

You've been asking us for three years, and the Bike Kitchen has decided to hold the race again.  We've planned for the masses and we're pulling out all the stops.  We've planned one heck of a race weekend with kickoff parties, after parties, and plenty of prized and cupcakes for everyone.

Registration is open now for 15 bucks, or you can opt to volunteer and save yourself some coin.

[Photo by mcas_sf]

Still don't have plans for the Fourth?  The Bay Bridged's got you covered:

This July 4th, come spend your holiday with us on the El Rio patio for the Sixth Annual El Rio Big Time Freedom Fest (3pm, $8, 21+). Six great bands are on deck to help celebrate the things that make this country great: indie music and afternoon beers. Oh, and freedom. Definitely freedom.

The weather looks solid, the show's outside, and you can head straight up Bernal after the music stops to check out the renegade firework show.  But should you need more convincing, TBB has a preview of what you can expect to hear.