Willie Brown: Mission St. Needs to "Get Together and Figure Out How to Offer Valet Parking"

Amazingly, this is not an April Fool's joke. From Willie's latest Inside Scoop column:

I wandered out for another birthday dinner to a place called the Blue Plate out on Mission where you should eat in your car because there’s no parking. All those restaurants are going to suffer if they don’t get together and figure out how to offer valet parking. They’re so close together they should collectively take one of those lots in night and have parking. I think they’re missing lots of opportunities for other San Franciscans to experience what they cook out there because the challenge to find the parking space dissuades people from going out.

Willie, I know I'm out of touch because I didn't make a grip of cash selling out San Francisco to developers, but since when do whores eat anything other than other people's genitals while parked along Mission?  Don't get me wrong, I'd be all for a drive-up diner, complete with roller-skating waitress, milk shakes, onion rings, and bike parking, opening up along Mission, but don't you think that there are better solutions to the problem than eating inside your car or paying some bro minimum wage to figure out the parking 'crisis' for you?  Like, I don't know, taking the bus?

Then you'd really have something to complain about.

Comments (6)

You know, as much as Willie Brown rubs me the wrong way, I hafta agree with him on this one. I’ve worked in restaurants in SF neighborhoods that do offer valet parking, usually shared among the restaurants on the street, and you’d be amazed at the percentage of diners who use their cars. Like it or not, restaurants with any pretension beyond counter-style takeout appeal to an economic class of customers that have cars, and often drive in from the ‘burbs.

Valet jobs are also pretty decent for tips. Maybe valet parking has the mantle of snobbishness or environmental head-in-the-ground, but it can raise the fortunes of a whole neighborhood-full of restaurants, which are usually small businesses employing lots of locals.

…it can raise the fortunes of a whole neighborhood-full of restaurants, which are usually small businesses employing lots of locals.

Perhaps you haven’t noticed, but there’s already far more customers than restaurants. Hence the hour long waits, cramped tables, etc.

If only San Francisco had more parking! We’d have so much business!

Can someone please explain to me what M.U.N.I is? I’m not quite sure and I see it everywhere.

DEAR SLICK WILLIE: Stay the hell out of the mission then, you corrupt motherfucker.

Thanks for fucking up the Bay Bridge retrofit for twenty years, while trying to jam in a casino or some other multi-million dollar vibrating buttplug for your own greedy ass while gambling with all of our lives.

Also, re: Drive-in – That’s what Whiz Burger used to be, complete with waitresses on roller-skates. It deserves to be, again.