Western Addition / NOPA

Ride-Hail Wars

Video: Western Addition Don Quixote Attacks Uber in Impromptu Jousting Match

— By Jack Morse (@jmorse_) |

 All was not well last night on Divisadero Street, with one man’s apparent rage against the ride-hail machine sparking an impromptu jousting match that would have made any Renaissance Faire devotee proud. At around 7:45 p.m., a man began yelling and walking through traffic at the intersection of Divisadero and Hayes Street—a typical sight were it not for his armaments. Swinging two large wooden poles, it wasn’t long before he found something objectionable. In this case it just so happened to be an apparently passenger-less Uber driving south through the intersection on Divis. 

The man struck the Uber driver’s car with his poles—perhaps believing it to be the steed of his rival—prompting the driver to abandon the car mid-intersection and charge the Western Addition Don Quixote. The driver managed to grab one of the tinder spears, and it is at that point that the above video begins.

Perhaps realizing that this dragon was in fact a car, and that it had a now very angry owner, the man attempted to flee—but the Uber driver wasn’t having it and gave pursuit. It was shortly thereafter that the police arrived and promptly handcuffed both men (although witnesses quickly clarified who the driver was and police soon released him).

And just like that, balance was restored to the plains of the Western Addition— that is until the unrelated car crash on Fulton and Divis around 20 minutes later.

Perhaps people took our advice about getting lit at The Mill a little too seriously?

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 
Lines And Instagrams

The Mill to Begin Selling Toast in Sandwich Form

— By Jack Morse (@jmorse_) |

San Francisco’s famed purveyor of fancy toast, The Mill, is upping its $4-a-slice game. Earlier this week The Mill’s head baker, Josey Baker, announced that starting Thursday his crew will begin serving customers two pieces of toast, covered in toppings and pressed together to form what Baker describes as a “sandwich,” from the counter of the Divisadero Street coffee shop. And you better believe it’s going to be some artisanal shit.

Per The Mill:

We’ve been honing our sandwich game for months, and we think we’re ready to let ‘er rip… so starting this Thursday we’re gonna do just that… JBB sandos every Thur-Sun, 11am til they’re gone, $10 apiece. this week you can expect roast cauliflower + spring red onion, tokyo + scarlet turnips, baby kale, JBB special sauce, roast garlic aioli + provolone. next week you can expect something else rad. let us know what you think!!

Baker seems to be counting on the fact that customers will happily plunk down $10 for a sandwich — even if eight of those dollars are only covering the cost of bread.

And while readers are likely mumbling a collective “that fucking place” at this news, the announcement does present one particularly interesting opportunity. A little-known fact is that every Monday and Wednesday from 6pm to 9pm The Mill sells grilled cheese sandwiches, and during that time the coffee shop is magically transformed into the cleanest BYOB spot the Western Addition has probably ever seen. Hopefully, the bring-your-own-booze hours will expand along with the new $10 sandwich hours and we can all start getting lit in The Mill every Thursday through Sunday from 11am until whenever the food runs out.

After all, excessive amounts of cheap liquor has the power to make even $10 worth of dressed bread go down easy.

[Photo: The Mill]

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Madrone Art Bar Guy Takes Over Pop's Bar

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Madrone and Pop's bathrooms: kindred spirits.

As we reported a few weeks back, Pop's, the beloved 24th Street dive bar, had been sold to new owners.  There was plenty of doom and disgust associated with the news, including our own fears that it might find itself morphed into another forgettable cocktail bar.  But, fortunately, it appears things might end up okay.

According to Mission Mission, Pop's has been bought by Michael Krouse of Madrone Art Bar, and he plans to keep the name and “AUTHENTICITY.”

“It’s going to be a place where everyone is welcome and everyone feels at home,” Krouse told the glorified Instagram account.  “Any bar that has lasted 67 years has earned the right to continue and thrive. I can’t wait to push it forward with integrity.”

He also outlined his vision for what makes a “good bar”:

A good bar to me is all about AUTHENTICITY. I came to San Francisco because I wanted to be in a place that was unique to everywhere else. I expect the same things from the places I eat and drink at. That’s what makes them special. It can be divey or fancy as long as it’s authentic. And when it’s done right it becomes alive with energy, and you feel that energy the moment you walk in the room. Great bars can and will stand the test of time, they are not trendy, they move beyond what is artificial and become a fabric of the place and time that they exist in.

Krouse didn't lay down any details on what authenticity really means, or if the cheap drinks and barfy smell will remain.  We'll update with answers to our follow-up questions when we get 'em.

UPDATE 11:45am: Michael Krouse followed-up with us with more info.

UA: Are you planning any major renovations?

MK: The structural elements will remain in tact. There will be remodeling, and there will be changes to the look and feel. Much of that is still to be determined. However one of the main reasons for buying is POPS is that it has years of character already built in, and I feel thats important to maintain.

UA: Do you expect to morph it into another art bar, or are you thinking about keeping it more of the dive it is?

MK: It will not be called an Art Bar, it will however have a strong element of art and artifact that is relevant to POP'S History and that of a bar that has been in San Francisco for 67 years.

UA: Any plans for the drink menu? Prices?

MK: Its is still being flushed out, however there will be something for everyone, and at all price levels. Cheep beer for those who want it and cocktails for the folks who like mixed drinks.

[Photo by JJBBLLKK]

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

New York-Style Yarn Bombing Comes to Divisalencia

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Divisadero, always biting post-hip Valencia's style, is now host to a crocheted mannequin staring longingly at Bean Bag Cafe. How whimsical!

The bench-perched fright was fabricated by famed New York yard artist (yartist?) Olek, who also gave the knit treatment to the Doggie Diner Heads while in town.

Of course, this means we're going to start seeing yarn bombers covering actual humans in excruciatingly itchy outfits any day now, which just seems rude.

[Photo by The Fuck?]

Sights Now Set On Annexing Anza Vista as 'North of NOPA'

— By Zach Perkins |

Gentrification Wars Update! The Battle for Western Addition continues!

Following news concerning the inevitable fall of Da Pitt, the NOPA flag of gentrification was hoisted victoriously over Divisadero and the forces of wealth have lost no time continuing their march into the surrounding microhoods of Western Addition. Through the subterfuge of their [Real Estate] agents, they've already begun to sow the seeds of a well funded insurgency in the nearby neighborhood of Anza Vista (the area around the Kaiser Hospital, sandwiched up against Divisadero, between Geary and Turk,) by renaming it something a little more trendy and wealth friendly - “North of NOPA”.

This signifies a major coup among the gentrifiers and real estate agents themselves, who only last year were peddling the Anza Vista name as a 'nice alternative' to the grit of the Western Addition mantle. But hey, 'NOPA's hot, so why not just rename Anza Vista “North of NOPA”, ie: North of North of the Panhandle. 

Can't wait until they rename the Panhandle 'South of the North of the Panhandle'. Fucking idiots. 

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Gentrification Conspiracy Theory of the Week, Divisadero Edition: Bi Rite opens, Da Pitt closes. Check Mate, NOPA?

— By Zach Perkins |

Pic via Haighteration

Just over a month after Bi-Rite Divisadero opened it's tiny, velvet roped doors and pay-by-the-hour parking service, neighborhood BBQ staple Da Pitt has been served an eviction notice. The full rebranding of the Divisadero strip from “Western Addition” to “NOPA” is hereby complete. Haighteration has the scoop on the eviction. Get it while you still can. 

Pic via Haighteration.

SFC Podcast EP02: The Web of Lies

— By SFC Podcast |

Sierra and Sam are easily Uptown Almanac's least favorite contributors, so you're looking for another reason to loathe Sam or Sierra, look no further.

In this episode of SFC, the two best friends share their tale of devotion, deceit, and the pains of being a young renter in San Francisco. Through their incriminating tale, both kids are exposed as the no-good, lying sacks of shit that they are. Enjoy!

If you have a story you'd like to tell, be it funny, sad, hopeful, poetry, or just plain crude, drop us a line at sfcpod@gmail.com.  You can also find SFC on iTunes.

Show Credits:

  • Daniel Jarvis (Producer, Editor)
  • Sierra Frost (Story, Music Curation)
  • Sam Bartos (Story, Lies)
  • Marie McIntosh (Story)
Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Biking of Divisadero: Dick Move

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

I've always found biking along Divis to be quite nice, actually.  It's got a vibrant street life, only a semi-spoiled array of shops and businesses, folks hanging out at the Mojo Bicycle Cafe parklet, traffic moving at a seasoned commuter's pace—plus, it's one of the flatter ways to get to… Lower Pac Heights?

But, see, Divisadero doesn't have a bike lane. So the nay-saying rabblerousers at the SF Weekly aren't so down, writing that while intentionally running over a cyclist marginally inconveniencing Divisadero's traffic is illegal, that rider is committing the very worst of all bro crimes: a dick move.

“So if I'm driving down Divisadero,” [my dumbass friend] said, setting the scene from her previous afternoon, “And there's a bicyclist pedaling in front of me, and she's going really slowly along the entire length of the street, and there's a line of cars forming behind me, and there's traffic speeding by to our left, and the bicyclist has planted herself in the middle of the lane, and there's a perfectly good bike lane just a few blocks over — it still my fault if I accidentally run her over?”

I like to think of myself as a fair-minded person and, in any event, I am conflict-averse above all. So, after careful consideration, I responded to her question as dispassionately as possible, with one of my own:

“Do you mean, legally or morally?”

Damn.  I was thinking “You're a goddamn psychopath! Go surrender your license to the authorities! Seriously, I'm downgrading you to 'acquaintance' on Facebook” would have been a slam dunk.  Then again, not everyone spent their formative teenage years spitting at Hummers that carelessly edged them off New England's narrow roads.

But our fair-minded SF Weekly columnist gently explained—as to not upset his jumpy friend—that, no, you can't just (legally) drive over a person riding a bike.  But he did concede in the court of public opinion:

Obviously, I don't know the cyclist who was slowing down my coworker. Maybe she had a perfectly good reason to be moseying down the full length of one of the busiest thoroughfares in the city. But given that she had the alternative of a quieter street with a bike path within a few blocks ride and given that there was a line of cars cropping up behind her waiting to get by, I will join my coworker in pronouncing that choice to be both absolutely within a cyclist's legal rights and kind of a dick move.

And now you know.

[Photo by Gavin Newsom | via Streetsblog]

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