Gray sends us this alluring photo of a crowded refrigerator and a quick review of Evil Twin's unfortunately named Mission Hipster Ale: “It's like a typical Dolores kid: brightly colored, proud on the outside, but somewhat boring and bitter on the inside.”

(For what it's worth, the brewery describes their creation a bit more favorably: “This super-exclusive, counter-culture pale ale is dedicated to ‘The Mish’ aka Mission District in San Francisco. It’s an homage to skinny jeans, tote-bags, fixie bikes with drop handlebars and Dolores Park.”)

Anyway, if you're looking for some somewhat boring and bitter beer, you can grab a pack at City Beer Store in San Francisco's 'NoMi' aka North of the Mission neighborhood.

Biking along Valencia during rush hour has long been a dangerous dance of swerving around cars pulling into the bike lane for valet parking or to drop hungry frumps off in front of restaurants.  However, the messy street scene, which was typically contained to the two blocks between 16th and 18th, has crept further south in recent months.  Just two weeks ago, Abbot's Cellar—who previously promised neighbors they'd never offer valet parking—began blocking the bike lane with valet parking at 19th and Valencia.

It's hard not to see it as a harbinger of further valets along the white table-clothed Valencia.

So as I hastily dodged a Town Car last Tuesday, I couldn't help but wonder whatever came of Valencia's proposed restaurant moratorium.  If you recall, it was last November that the Valencia Corridor Merchant's Association (VCMA) endorsed a plan to put a temporary ban on new restaurants and a conditional use permit on them following that, in hopes of preserving some of the street's economic diversity.

However, in the months that followed, the neighborhood's two elected supervisors—David Campos and Scott Wiener—have remained coy on the matter.  In fact, Campos last told Mission Local, “I haven’t taken a position yet [on the moratorium],” and Wiener told the Chronicle's resident old person C.W. Nevius, “I'm pretty skeptical of a moratorium.”

Since those comments, two more restaurants and Abbot's valet parking have come to Valencia.

“The word moratorium triggers an emotional response. It sounds very permanent,” a local businessman and member of the VCMA—who requested anonymity—recently told us. “I keep hearing that other neighborhoods have enacted permanent moratoriums and it was DEVASTATING to the community. Look at Noe Valley for example. They had 6 restaurants, so they enacted a permanent moratorium. Over the years as each of those restaurants closed, they ended up with no place to eat. It was a HUGE mistake. Thank GOD they got rid of that.”

He explains what VCMA was actually proposing:

The VCMA actually recommended that Planning Department should consider the views of the community (businesses and residents) before rubber stamping another new full-service (not self-service, like Curry Up Now) restaurant opening up on Valencia (and “new” as in brand new—used-to-be-a-book-store-new, not used-to-be-another-full-service-restaurant new). This is called a Special Use Permit process.

This was to be proceed by a temporary breather - a 12 month moratorium.

However, after some negative press came in from the likes of C.W. Nevius, Wiener and Campos spiked the proposal.  Wiener himself told the Chronicle, “[Moratoriums] were enacted in Noe and the Castro in the late '80s, and the food scene in both neighborhoods suffered.”

Of course, the Mission isn't Noe Valley.  Valencia alone has 36 restaurants between 15th and 20th, and that doesn't include the dozens on sides streets immediately off of Valencia.  Even if the VCMA supported a full ban on new restaurants—which they obviously are not—it's not like the Mission would suddenly be a foodless wasteland.

“The supervisors who were once supportive of the Special Use Permit idea (it even came from one of them) don't seem to be very excited about it now,” our source confirmed. “But they seem to want to be able to do something.”

Do something?

“They are proposing a cap at a percentage by block.”

That's right, the supervisors what to restrict the number of restaurants per block to a certain percentage.

That might strike you as a good way to prevent total homogeneity along Valencia without resorting to something silly like “community imput” and “temporary breathers.”  But with 41% of all storefronts between 15th and 20th are already restaurants, it's difficult to see how that'll solve anything.

Well, anything besides the Supervisor's getting bad press from a moratorium, of course…

Proving that Valencia Street is the new LA, a tipster tells us the techie-adored and whimsically-branded online fashion pusher Betabrand has just signed a lease at 19th and Valencia.  Betabrand's founder Chris Lindland confirms: “Yes. We're moving [into 780 Valencia]. Now awaiting city approval for a heliport & livestock permit.”

Finally, we won't have to fumble with our computers to get our gross hands on a $225 smoking jacket or socks so expensive that they come with insurance.

I kid. (Well, a little bit, at least.)

Betabrand is, perhaps, one of the least obnoxious upscale garbmongers to come to the Mission.  They are headquartered in the neighborhood, and their clothes are manufactured in a San Francisco sweatshop, as opposed to an Asian sweatshop.  Also, I couldn't find the word “artisan” anywhere on their website.

These, my friends, are the kind of corporate values you could bring home to your mother.

But, yes, their clothes are dorky as shit—dare I say, Marinaish.  And I'm certain anyone with a modest income will ever be able to afford to shop there.  But if the neighborhood demands seersucker, give the neighborhood seersucker.

When Adobe Books' landlord raised the 25-year-old bookshop's rent from $4,500 to $6,000 last spring, the shop and the community it serves rallied for its future. Authors Stephen Elliott, Rebecca Solnit, Michelle Tea, and musicians The Dodos held in-store fundraisers that saw overflow crowds spill out into the street.  Over 600 people donated to an Indiegogo fundraising campaign to save Adobe and create a co-op to manage it.  Just last week the fundraiser successfully raised $60,000, giving the shop at least a year of rent money.

“It's obvious the community supports us,” Liz, one of Adobe's employees, told me this morning as she sorted a box of yellowing Playboys.

But their landlord was less inspired by the effort.  They responded by further raising the shop's rent to $8,000 and demanding improvements be made to the space.

“We cleaned up everything, reorganized the space, even painted behind bookcases… spots that haven't needed to be painted since forever.”

Unfortunately that hasn't been enough for the landlord—they have decided they want Adobe out.  And they're being emboldened by a fashion retailer valued at $2.3 billion and traded on the New York Stock Exchange.

According to public records, Fifth & Pacific Companies Inc.—better known by their former name, Liz Claiborne Inc.—has been eying Adobe's storefront at 3166 16th Street since at least July 30th of last year, when Melissa Xides, the self-described “co-leader” of Fifth & Pacific's upscale Jack Spade label, wrote to the San Francisco Planning Department asking if the company fell into the city's “formula retail” category.

“I am writing on behalf of the fashion retailer Jack Spade to request a Letter of Determination regarding a proposed retail store that Jack Spade is pursuing on 16th Street in the Valencia Street NC district,” the letter began. “Jack Spade designs men’s bags, accessories and apparel that blend functionality and style. Jack Spade is based in New York City and only has seven stores in the United States. We are not a Formula Retail store and are asking for confirmation of this from the Planning Department.”

“Jack Spade stores operate more like a traditional haberdashery with a focus on customer service and relationships with our clients and community… direct community outreach is very important to the Jack Spade brand team.”

While the Planning Department later agreed Jack Spade wasn't formula retail, citing their relative independence from their monied parent company, the business has been remarkably secretive about their plans.  They have held no public meetings about their move into the Mission District, the job ads for the soon-to-be-opened store do not disclose the neighborhood it will be located in, and the staff of Adobe has been kept in the dark from their landlord (Liz told us she knew “nothing” about Jack Spade's intentions).  Another source told us that representatives from Jack Spade allegedly went into neighboring retailer Idol Vintage “without warning” and “literally measured the store with a tape measurer” with future expansions in mind.

With Jack Spade's deep pockets giving Adobe's landlord unmatchable financial leverage over the small used bookstore, getting pushed out of their home since 1988 is almost certain.  “It just doesn't make sense to run a bookshop [when paying] $8,000 a month in rent,” Liz conceded, acknowledging the shop is bracing for a forced relocation.

“There's just no way.”

Representatives for Jack Spade could not be reached for comment.