Humor

Cholas Explain Improv

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Hater Tuesday recently published this gem of a conversation overheard at Mission Street's Dark Room Theater:

Chola 1: Aye, so what is this shit, loca?
Chola 2: Psssh, like I told you it’s comedyyyyyyy.
Chola 1: Yeah, but like what is it?
Chola 2: It’s like freestyle rap… they just make shit up or whatevers. They just like vibe… and turn it into real funny shit mujer. Mira.
Chola 1 explodes with laughter. Then stops abruptly and turns to Chola 2
Chola 1: Yoooooooooooooooo, I love comedy raps. Do you have any more on that 40? Let me see it.

Aaannnnddddd be sure to read on for Lydia's thoughts on Kreayashawn…

[photo by wire_paladinSF]

Hipsters Making Fun of Hipsters

— By Alissa |

This is the most recent effort from NYC-based sketch comedy group Harvard Sailing Team, who you may remember from last summer's viral hit Boys Will Be Girls. Their latest video is a play on all things hipster, a subculture I'm sure they would claim not to be a part of in any way whatsoever. My favorite part is the guy working on the bike with the floral hammer. What is he doing with that thing anyway, hammering his spokes out of shape?

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Local Comic Struggles to Clean Out Fridge

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Speaking of local comics killing it yesterday, Emily Heller was interviewed on Broke-Ass Stuart's God-daymn Website yesterday:

Three things that are in your fridge right now?
Tapatio, a moldy bowl of beans my housemate is soaking, a single leaf of a corn husk from 2009.

Three things you’d take to a desert island?
The bible (to laugh at, then later, go crazy and pray to), a knife (to crudely shave my legs with), and some rubbing alcohol (to get fucked up).

Read on to find out about Emily's hobby of photoshopping her face on celebrities' bodies (pictured above), how you can get your butt massaged for 90 minutes for cheap, and where to eat good vegetarian food in SF.  Also, the interview doesn't continue in threes.

Local Comics Scheme to Induce Mission-Wide Hangover, Dozens Wounded

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Alex Koll receives the honor of being the subject of my only in focus photograph of the evening.

Last evenings's Locally-Sourced Pop-Up Comedy Night sure was a good time, amirite? We made quick work of 45 gallons of Pabst, raised a grip of money for The Roxie, the comics KILLED IT, one guy almost b lined right into the wall as he was stumbling out the door, and then everyone finally was able to pee at Delirium.

We're already planning some more events, so stay tuned for that.  In the meantime, read up on last night's performers:

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Help TK Find His Stolen Car

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

TK's car loves shoegazing and boys in flannel, so look for his stolen ride at Debaser tomorrow.

In my ideal world, everyone would be already reading TK's 40 Going on 28.  Alas, there are probably a few of you still not hipped to this work of comedic genius, so let me be the first to notify you that TK's car was stolen and he would like everyone to stay on the lookout:

My car got stolen last night.

I want to think it's God punishing me for getting a parking space DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE, but probably not, right? Gotta hand it to the SFPD: they were here at my office to take a report less than 30 minutes after I called. TRY THAT SHIT IN OAKLAND AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS. So, good for you, SFPD! […]

ANYWAY, I need your help finding my car. Below I've assembled some artist's representations of places you might find it to help you look.

Keep your eyes peeled, everybody.

Get to Know Your Local Comics at Uptown Almanac's Locally-Sourced Pop-Up Comedy Night

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Believe it or not, San Francisco is full of funny people.  Most of those people aren't bloggers and are usually forced to travel to North Beach to be funny.  This is clearly unacceptable.

So: GET FUCKING DRUNK AND MEET YOUR LOCAL COMICS NEXT TUESDAY AT THE ROXIE. Our legal department tells us that we cannot advertise that there will be “free beer” at the event, so there won't be any of that, but there will be plenty of complimentary PBR to wet your whistle.  And when the show's all wrapped up, we'll head to Delirium and have ourselves a round.

In summary:
Tuesday, May 10th at 7:30 @ The Roxie [16th and Valencia]
Tickets [$6.50] on sale now.
Afterparty at Delirium.
Laughs provided by:

Also, there's a Facebook event for those of you interested in telling Mark what you're up to.

SF Rec. & Park Department Hiring New General Manager; Rudimentary Math Skills, Stun Gun Required

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

A new Craigslist job posting suggests that Rec. and Park general manager Phil Ginsburg is out the door and the City is seeking a successor:

The City and County of San Francisco is seeking a new General Manager for its Department of Recreation and Parks

For the past several years the Department of Recreation and Parks has been recognized as leader in the development of innovative programs to prevent the public from enjoying either recreation or parks. However, in a time of increasing budget shortfalls and political uncertainty, new directions must be found to preserve our civic treasures from our civic body.

Several recent initiatives, including privatization of parks, closing recreation centers, and placing advertising on every available public surface, have failed to keep people from going outdoors for free. We need bold ideas.

The qualified candidate will:

· Own a stun gun
· Possess strong ties to the business community
· Exhibit rudimentary math skills

People skills are optional.

The ad goes on to say that no experience is required, but you be submitted to “a background check” and a “substantial campaign donation will be required.”  Google employees, we're looking at you.

[Craigslist]

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