Haight

They didn't do a good enough job burying them

— By Brizz |

Found on Modcult

What's also great about this is you know that this event was put on by a bunch of hippies, just as today a funeral for the hipster would be put on by a bunch of hipsters, and a funeral for the douchebag would be put on by me.

Cool Kid Travels: Eau de Crooklyn?

— By Jenny Wilson |

Last week I was in Brooklyn and stumbled across Bond No. 9's latest scent “Brooklyn.'” The Brooklyn perfume consists of a combination of grapefruit, cardamom, cypress-wood, geranium leaves, juniper berrie, cesarwood, leather and guaiacwood, (wtf is that?)  and for a mere $220 you can actually “smell like” Brooklyn. Don't really know where they came up with this weird ass combo to encapsulate the scent of the “edgy metropolis.” To me Crooklyn smells like wasted youth and decaying bodies but, I guess that really isn't marketable.

If San Francisco's neighborhoods were bottled up into different perfumes, what would these neighborhoods smell like? And what is the price you'd have to pay to smell like them?

Mission: Taco trucks, piss, cheap beer, expensive coffee, trustafarians. Price: One call to your parents to please, please, please let you use daddy's Amex one more time.

Haight: Drum circles, midwestern runaways that didn't get the memo that punk is dead (see: dirt, b.o., and dreadlocks), bong loads, DMT. Price: Panhandle for 48 hrs straight and pray some unwitting tourists feel bad for your 3 dogs.

Marina: The scent of entitlement, hair product, fake tanner, axe body spray, shame, chest bumps! Price: The cost of running for mayor.

Tenderloin: Crack, garbage, meth, cheap blow jobs (see: rotting teeth), poor life decisions. Price: Eagerness to give cheap blow jobs.

Noe Valley: Upwardly mobile snobbery, babies, french bulldogs (read: shit), the new car smell. Price:  Raising 2 kids, paying for private school, a vasectomy

Sunset: Isolation, depression, pseudo suburbia. Price: Moving anywhere else in the city

Castro: Rainbows, unicorns, leather daddy's leather, lube. Price: An evening at Boy Bar.

Chinatown: fish, lost tourists, the dirty 30, dumpsters. Price: Shitting yourself.

North Beach: Pizza! bros, day old strippers. Price: One lap dance.

If you have anymore ideas go ahead and throw them into the comments, and if you want to add anymore neighbs that I didn't cover, i.e. Pac Heights (I'm not sure what rich smells like) go ahead and do it.

SF Neighborhoods in T-Shirt Form

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

I'm pretty sure these shirts are a meme from yesteryear and I always hate being late to the lolparty, however these things date wayyy back to 2008, a year before anyone read San Francisco blogs.  Anywho, the only thing I don't like about these shirts are that there are only four of them.  Make more, design nerds!  LIke a shirt of the Richmond featuring a fog monster eating a frat boy, or a shirt of the Mission featuring a fog monster eating a frat boy in a hoodie.

Anyway, these pieces of fashionable hyper-local cotton were created at the sexy people at Ape Do Good Printing.  Unfortunately, I cannot find a link to buy these shirts, which is such an epic first world problem it makes me want cry.

For those of you who want to actually buy a neighborhood shirt, Headline Shirts has an alternate.

(photos ripped straight from the Ape Do Good Printing flickr stream.  Hat tip to Generic via ??? via ??? god this tumblr shit is hard)

NON-STOP BANKSY COVERAGE BROS!: Fifth and Sixth "Banksy" Found

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Okay, I know you all are saying “this bullshit is getting old” but Laughing Squid needs me to do some research so that lazy fuck can just rip off this blog without credit.  Again.  Even anonymous dumbasses on ezboards.com are better at giving us hat tips than that fool.  ANYWAYS.

Love Letters to SF found this one yesterday.  Looks like Banksy is now on Twitter.  I kid, it’s just a bird.

Also, from the inbox:

there is a new banksy piece up at Haight and Belvedere above Villains Vault, across from Wasteland. Picture of a rat and a line that says “this is where I draw the line.” Went up last night.

A simple twitter search corroborates, but no pics as of yet.  I’d go take a picture myself, but I hate leaving the Mission and my kitchen smells like a nasty combination of Mexican food and frat house, so I gotta bust out a mop.  (Update: Banksy Prints has the scoop on the Haight piece)

Anyways, I’m pretty convinced that these are not Banksy.  First off, a “Banksy” went up in Seattle two nights ago, and he can’t be in two places at once.  Some have suggested that he emails plans to people, which seems feasible, but if he’s not the one taking the risk and holding the spraypaint, I don’t really see how you can credit it to Banksy.  To make a completely ludicrous comparison, we don’t say Ben Folds’ cover of “Bitches Ain’t Shit” is Dr. Dre’s work.

Ezra Mellips: Inventor of the "put your hands down your pants and unzip your zipper and poke your finger thru your fly and wiggle it so it resembles your penis" illusion

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Thanks to Hoodscope, I am now convinced to brave the hordes of people cooler than me and go ont he next Haight St. Art Walk.  I wish I could find a larger version of this but this postage stamp is all you get.  Hoodscope just emailed us a larger-version.  RAD

(More Pix Bros)

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