The Great Outdoors

If You Need Me...

— By Laura B |

I’ll by busy TRAMPOLINING (is that a word? what’s google??) for the next ten thousand years on the new giant trampolines in the presidio. Yes, giant trampolines in San Francisco. I’m about to be fat, white, and high as a kite! Those dudes know what I’m talking about! Let’s do this!

SF Appeal has all the details, per usual. 

Bikes: Conzelman Shutting down April 1st

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

File this one under “if I read ‘the mainstream media,’ I would already know this:”

After being called out for the paleness of my skin and trying to internally figure out how work off that 1,000 calories of shitty American beer I drink a day, I’ve been riding my bike up in Marin a lot more lately.  Well, just in time for Spring, the big, bad government is shutting down Hawk Hill.  Tears.

(link) 

NEW FAVORITE SF BLOG

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Someone was telling me that there is another blogger on Capp St., making this strip of tragedy home to both the highest quantity of crappy bloggers (4 that I know of) and hookers (countless) in the city.  The GoBlog has absolutely nothing to do with the city but everything to do with okay-jokes.  Yeah, their site is definitely circa 1998 and they center their text BUT they talk about outdoor gear and hiking and stuff and that helps me feel ‘connected’ to white culture.

EXAMPLE:

Marmot: The New Choice For The Thug Life?
One of our 12 faithful readers, not including the +5,000 a day that come to the site looking for naked pictures of Julia Mancuso, sent this little item in to us. We’d post his name, but he’d probably not prefer to be identified as a GoBlog reader to maintain his reputation as a dude. Anyway, usually when one thinks of the preferred jacket to wear while committing a crime or the preferred jacket to steal during a crime, The North Face puffy jacket comes to mind. That or an acid wash jean jacket with a confederate flag. We lack hard statistics of course, but our crack reporting turned this up on our first Google search regarding a recent homocide in NJ:

The gunman was wearing a gray and white North Face jacket, and was described as black, 5-foot, 8-inches tall, with a thin build.

Of course the sartorial tastes of criminals can change swiftly and without notice.  What’s considered cool to wear while you stab someone to death in the Fall season, could drastically change by the Summer season. And god forbid you’re on an 6 season fashion calendar. That wrecks havoc on the average gangster’s wardrobe.

(OH WAIT THERE’S MORE)

Parklett Coming to 22nd

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

As you can see from this postage stamp, there’s going to be a parklett on 22nd @ Mission

Look at this: now you have a nice grassy surface to puke up that pint of tequila from Latin American Club.  I kid.  See, I don’t own a car and am not a whiny NIMBY, so I’m all for this.  It’ll be nice to see grass and trees and flowers and dog shit not beneath my feet while walking around the city, as opposed to the oil stains and crappy pavement we get now.

From Pavement to Parks:

The 22nd Street Parklet will pilot more create use of the parking lane at a location in the Mission where sidewalks are narrow and pedestrian activity high. This pilot application will explore the idea of modularity, allowing for a “kit of parts” to be developed for possible future installations. The design has been developed free of charge to the City by ReBar Group.

 

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