— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Someone was telling me that there is another blogger on Capp St., making this strip of tragedy home to both the highest quantity of crappy bloggers (4 that I know of) and hookers (countless) in the city. The GoBlog has absolutely nothing to do with the city but everything to do with okay-jokes. Yeah, their site is definitely circa 1998 and they center their text BUT they talk about outdoor gear and hiking and stuff and that helps me feel ‘connected’ to white culture.
EXAMPLE:
Marmot: The New Choice For The Thug Life?
One of our 12 faithful readers, not including the +5,000 a day that come to the site looking for naked pictures of Julia Mancuso, sent this little item in to us. We’d post his name, but he’d probably not prefer to be identified as a GoBlog reader to maintain his reputation as a dude. Anyway, usually when one thinks of the preferred jacket to wear while committing a crime or the preferred jacket to steal during a crime, The North Face puffy jacket comes to mind. That or an acid wash jean jacket with a confederate flag. We lack hard statistics of course, but our crack reporting turned this up on our first Google search regarding a recent homocide in NJ:The gunman was wearing a gray and white North Face jacket, and was described as black, 5-foot, 8-inches tall, with a thin build.
Of course the sartorial tastes of criminals can change swiftly and without notice. What’s considered cool to wear while you stab someone to death in the Fall season, could drastically change by the Summer season. And god forbid you’re on an 6 season fashion calendar. That wrecks havoc on the average gangster’s wardrobe.
Comments (6)
Nice call. Site was launched in 1999. Our thinking is, if we wait long enough, the design will be trendy again. Mark our words. You totally blew our whole cover, btw. Now our fans will be stalking us on Capp Street in between turning tricks. What we want to know is, how’d you track us down? You saw us in our “Capp Street Bloggers” hipster T didn’t you?
You live one block down from me and someone was telling me that you were in our hood. Neighbors gossiping. SHIT’S REAL.
But the best part of Capp is that your fans can bring the whores over to your house. No need to pay for that expensive ride across town. So convenient.
Yeah, I know that “someone” well. L-A, right? My favorite, mostly because the first time she introduced herself she spelled her name, then said, “And the dash (-) ain’t silent honey.”
I’m yet another Capp Street Blogger (CSB). I feel like I need to split off into a CSB Tumblr chapter though. Protect your neck.
That makes 5.
Nice, with our own custom acronym already. Now we need an ironic tag line, preferably with some kind of literary or film allusion, like “CSB - Posts From The Underground”, a monthly “meet-up” like all the kids are doing nowadays, and a business model that includes some kind of location based ad network. Then we carve the whole street up into blocks, have monthly slam blogging nights where we read our posts from the previous month, swig boutique cocktails, and generally act cooler than we really are. Who’s in? I call dibs on the 23rd - 24th. The assisted living place next door to our house, the outpatient nut house across the street with the cute gay couple in the white Edwardian next door with their Jaguar locked behind the 19th C. ironwork who never venture more than 10 feet from their house, would provide me with endless blogging fodder. Today it was, “Are you a Catholic? No, I’m a Jew, leave me the fuck alone”. Except I only imagined saying the second part. Make it happen Kevin.