so I just got this email blast with this flyer for a free earth party in the park, I thought oh that’s cool I guess but then I saw The Jacka was on the line up to perform and thought OH THAT’S FUCKING AWESOME! All I can hope for is that some lame’s afternoon of tight rope walking to be ruined by the sweet sounds of the Mob Figaz. I am no fan of Goapele but I will go to any show that has the possibility of Husalah showing up. When he came out with Jacka during Freeway’s set at Mezzanine I kind of lost my shit. In a perfect world Husalah would be up there chanting you’re pretty cool for a black guy and yelling bring me another beer to a sea of apathetic skinny pants. 

youtube failed me for a video of I’m A Wild Child so you get the latest Husalah youtube joint instead.

I know, I know.  Nothing new about trees being planted on Valencia.  That said, anyone walking down Valencia yesterday afternoon with their faces not glued to their cellphones likely noticed how cool this row of trees looked in the rain.

On Friday afternoon, I decided to get out of the city and its horrid overcast weather and spend the day drinking beers in a rowboat.

Yes, it was as awesome as it sounds.

We met up in Berkeley and drove out Highway 24 into the picturesque (read: bougie, white) town of Lafayette. In town we failed to find Four Loko anywhere (god, suburbia, get it together!) and ended up buying beer and Cooks instead. At the Lafayette reservoir we rented a rowboat and set out to sea lake pond. I won’t go on about the rest of our afternoon, I just wanted to share this lovely day trip with Uptown readers because I imagine many of us tire of spending every sunny day at Dolores Park and, especially given the impending closures, it’s nice to have alternative places for outdoor daytime drinking.

Although we drove, the Lafayette Reservoir is highly BART-able. Once you’re there, parking is $6 and boat rental is $25 for up to 5 hours. There’s a Safeway pretty nearby for picnic food and drink. If you intend to get Lok’d though, you’ll probably have to make a pit stop in Oakland or be sorely disappointed like we were. More info about the Lafayette Recreation Area can be found here. Let’s go Summer 2010!

 If you live in the Mission you’ve probably noticed the marvelous sidewalk widening project that’s underway on Valencia between 16th and 18th. At my estimation the sidewalk is about 15 feet wide now which means you can ditch your former single file method and start walking in tandem with your friends. I bet you could get a human chain of at least 5-7 people going uninterrupted. Additionally, you could comfortably rollerblade (this hood is full of avid rollerbladers, didn’t you know?) - with extra wide lunges - or run with your arms outstretched in a zig zag pattern down the sidewalk. This is wicked exciting right? WRONG.

Who is planning this garbage and why am I giving you better ideas for free? Well, here it is, on the house. This project is a complete waste of time. Because of the trees planted next to the road, what we’re really getting is 3-4 feet of extra sidewalk room. OH NEAT. The extra room given is not going to allow restaurants to put tables on the sidewalk. There’s nothing cool that can happen outside. Literally, at best, you can now get around the crowd outside of Casanova on a Friday night without getting pissed off. 

This city needs more fucking patios. The sidewalk widening could be great. It could extend all the way across Valencia making it a pedestrian street. A what?! Yes. Shut down Valencia. It’s a shitty street to drive on, it’s a shitty street to walk on and I’ll speculate it’s shitty to bike on too. And if it’s not, shut your pie hole and go bike down Mission Street. Just imagine, tables outside, benches, trees… Places to chill without getting a grass stain on your ass or having some dog eat your burrito. I want a place where I can hang outside and have a drink or a coffee or dinner that’s not fucking Medjool. Let’s make this happen, people.