Events, Happenings & Scenes

TONIGHT in Oakland: Zombies! Cyclists! Pizza Sandwich?

Honestly, this is not an anti-cyclist metaphor.  NO REALLY!

WHEN THERE'S NO MORE ROOM IN HELL, THE DEAD WILL WALK BIKE THE EARTH!!!  

TONIGHT (Oct 8th), the East Bay Bike Party will be doing their 6th Zombie Ride.  It's exactly what it sounds like; a zombie flash mob with two wheelers.   AWESOME.  The gathering starts at 7:30pm, departs Oakland City Hall at 8pm, and eventually ends up at Parkway Lounge where they've arranged free bike parking and pizza sandwichs (not free).  

I might even brave these cyclist hoards just find out what the fuck a pizza sandwich is.  

More info on their route here.

Hybrid Carrier in SF for Fleet Week to Promote Making Sustainable War

USS Makin Island passing under the GG yesterday.  

Pic via USN Specialist 2nd Class Glenn S. Robertson

It's Fleet Week again, which is why a team of F/A-18 Hornets were making strafing runs on your eardrums all afternoon.  The Blue Angels began practice at 1pm today and could be heard all over the Bay, even in my office in the East Bay with my headphones cranked up to 11.  Expect the same ruckus from 1pm to 4pm tomorrow while they conduct their final practice for the weekend's air show.  CUE THE OBLIGATORY KENNY LOGGINS VID!!! 

Yesterday the USS Makin Island cruised up the coast and arrived in San Francisco.  Mayor Newsome greeted and toured the Navy's brand new hybrid-powered ship, which is basically a Prius Aircraft Carrier, capable of moving at up to 12 knots on electricity alone.  According to the Chronicle, this will be the biggest Fleet Week celebration in 20 years, with six US Navy ships (plus some Coast Guard and Canuck Navy vessels) in comparison to only one US Navy ship last year.  

Expect a much more noticeable military presence in the city as well.  Last year only a small compliment of Navy sailors and six Marines ran amuck during Fleet Week.  This year there will be estimated 1000 Navy sailors and 600 Marines let loose upon the City Marina.  I mean fuck, there are only so many strip clubs in North Beach.  And ladies, should you hit up a karaoke bar this weekend, expect to be serenaded repeatedly to 'You've Lost That Loving Feeling.'  

Check out the schedule of Fleet Week events here, and the roster of vessels in port here.

BEST SHIT GOING ON SATURDAY

This weekend in the Town it's going down, fucking Tankcrimes is throwing an awesome 2 day show, I can only make it there Saturday so I have to miss Ghouls and A.N.S. but fuck it goddamn Municipal Waste is playing saturday. Do you stupid fucking indie rock loving pussies even know how dope that's going to be. I'm so ready to just smash on kids, this is gonna be retarded amounts of fun. Not to mention that these dudes got the best goddamn video flyer in the fucking game. Just let a juggalo roll up on me, please.

If you're staying in the city Tormenta is this weekend and they got El Guincho playing. This is probably where I would be if it was for awesome thrash in Oakland this weekend.

The Rock 2: Something's Rotten In Denmark

Image used with permission via Peter Merts

This weekend kicks-off San Francisco's version of Shakespeare in the Park, but made creepier and criminal by the We Players production of Hamlet on Alcatraz. Starting this Friday, October 8th and running each weekend through November 21st, Hamlet, directed by Michael Bay Ava Roy promises to fully inhabit “The Rock.”

I haven't been this siked about Alcatraz since Nicolas Cage saved San Francisco from VX gas warheads back in 1996. The site-specific performance takes 4 hours to run around 1.5 miles of the island watching Hamlet be a big pussy struggle with killing Claudius in order to revenge his father's death. Yes, the performance actually takes place in multiple locations on the island while the audience follows the cast from scene to scene. Some of the locations visited in the performance are not accessible to regular island visitors, so make sure you take this rare opportunity and go see this performance by November 21st. 

If FUNds are an issue for you, Hamlet on Alcatraz is offered free of charge, as they do not turn anyone away for lack of cash. However, since extreme amounts of materials and resources have been used to produce Hamlet, We Players is suggesting a donation of $60-$80 per ticket to help cover expenses. The student/senior/limited funds suggested donation is $40 per ticket.

Can't wait to see Ophelia jump off the Island and into the Bay! Err, unless she has a Sassy Gay Friend to stop her…

Una Noche SKABROSA

how can you not want to go to a latino ska party? The level of trainwrecking at this event has got to be some next level amazing. They got fucking tropical, salsa, cumbia, guaracha, AND SKA! Before I noticed the Ska what grabbed my attention was Basura's awesome logo, that shit looks fancy as fuck.

Shit to do This Weekend

Sand Castle Contest: while a sand castle sounds pretty dorky, pictures from previous years indicate that this is a pretty rad event.  If that isn't good enough for you, you can just stick around after and burn shit on the beach or spraypaint a dead whale.

This postage stamp of a photo was the only pic I could find of the event.  Also, I'm too lazy to look at Flickr.

Pacific Pinball Expo: I know everyone isn't as obsessed with pinball as I am, and we all know that having to travel to Marin for an event is torture, but there are 300 pinball machines in one room all weekend up in San Rafael.  Should be a good time.

Two Park Movies, One Night

As I'm sure everyone in San Francisco with some degree of internet access already knows, Dolores Park will be hosting a movie night this Saturday.  The final movie night of season will feature the Cohen Bros classic The Big Lebowksi.  

But not down with Dolo, you say?  Think you might puke white russian all over the cute hipster chick sitting on the grass in front of you if you have to sit through Lebowksi for the seven hundred and sixty third time since Freshmen year of college??  Over Thirty Five years old and have questionable taste in movies or a strange Will Smith fetish???

Then Duboce Park has got a night for you!!!  

The Friends of Duboce Park have arranged their first ever movie screening with the San Francisco set Pursuit of Happyness, presumably to ensure a luke warm start to the program and while simultaneously deterring anyone who might consider defecting over from the Dolores Park set.  

Pursuit of Hapyness @ Duboce starts at 7:30pm.  The Big Lebowski @ Dolores starts at 8:00pm, and will be the final Dolores Park movie of the season.  

See you at Dolo.

NIMBYs Butcher Mission Bike Festival

The Mission Bicycle Festival, which goes down Sunday at noon on Lapidge at 18th and is full of fun shit like trackstand competitions, unicycle basketball and other circus-quality events, has fallen prey to the NIMBY neighbors that surround Dolores Park.  Originally, MBF was going to be an all day event with lots of live music, music bikes, a community picnic at Mission Pool, food and beer.  However, when Mission Bicycle originally proposed the event to the ISCOTT committee (the group that approves street closures for events), a police officer pulled event organizer Jefferson (himself a resident of Lapidge) into the hallway to tell him that there are neighbors known to oppose these events and it would “never happen” unless he personally reached out to the neighbors and worked with them to reshape the event.

Sure enough the officer was right: three neighbors, citing concerns of trash, urine, and noise bothering young children and a man “recovering from cancer,” submitted formal complaints to the committee and the harmless festival was denied.  The ISCOTT committee wouldn't tell Jefferson the names of who complained, so in order to actually move forward, he had to ask around and knock on doors.  Eventually he found the NIMBYS and they came to a compromise.

The community picnic at the pool was canceled.  The festival was forced to keep the event concentrated at the Women's Building to reduce traffic down Lapidge.  The event was reduced from all day to 4 hours.  Beer was removed from the event and amplified noise was reduced to a pathetic 15 minute window. At that point, the three neighbors actually wrote into the committee to withdraw their opposition while ten neighbors wrote into the board complaining about the event being curtailed.

The latter had no effect: apparently the negative neighbors who are down on bikes enjoy a veto power on community events in this town.  I guess this is the city's attitudes towards cyclists and block parties.  If some businesses want to shut down 18th street to roast a pig in the middle of the road, it's no worries if it rubs a few neighbors the wrong way, but bikers are left to beg for mercy.

STILL BROKE AS FUCK

If you haven't gotten embarrassingly drunk in public lately, might I recommend going to Broke-Ass Stuart's party tomorrow night?  One-buck PBR pints and soul music sure do sound nice, but I'm going for the awesomeness and the 4 foot tall Connect Four.

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