As you might have heard, a few Bay Area cool kids decided they wanted to bring back Clueless and all its horrible slang for a four-act musicial.  So As If! put their idea up on Kickstarter and enough people thought it was a solid idea and donated them three-and-a-half grand to make the magic happen.  So, to celebrate, they're taking a page out of the dot-com handbook and throwing a launch party.

Yeah yeah, I know what you're saying.  “Bro, launch parties are fucking lame.”  No doubt, but this launch party features Ocean Spray (The Cranberries cover band), Boyz IV Men, a Jock Jams dance party, and fuzzy pens.  The Jock Jams dance party alone makes me depressed I'm going to miss this one, but Big Sur is calling me.

Tonight at 9pm.  $10.  251 Rhode Island.  Ticket info.

Funcheap reminds us that this Saturday is the “Snuggie Pub Crawl”, which is basically SantaCon for the Polk Gulch set, complete with self-actualizing corporate sponsorship. That's right, instead of drinking your way through the day spreading Christmas cheer and your stomach acid all over the city, you'll just be drinking at all the bars you'd typically avoid while looking like an even more pathetic version of Liz Lemon.  Don't get me wrong, I'll be there because I love disaster tourism. However, instead of spending $14 at 'Targét' for a Snuggie, I'll just be wearing my “ghost” costume from 5th grade.  So be sure to clean the cat hair and Cheetos off your Snuggie before attending; you never know if you'll meet that special Astronaut who's as desperate and lonely as you at SnuggieCrawl!

[FunCheap SF]

If you grew up in the Bay Area in the 90s, it was nearly impossible to watch syndicated episodes of The Simpson/Full House/Sister Sister (Roger ftw!) without regularly being interrupted by a demonic voice-over warning you that Monster Jam was about to head to “OAK-LAND, SAN JOSE!” to tear shit up with over sized baby-dick compensating vehicles with names like 'Grave Digger' or 'Maximum Destruction'. As a child I always wonder who the fuck would actually spend money to go to these rallies. Now, as an adult, I ask “$15 for all-you-can-mock people watching and the chance of death and/or loss of limb? And I can get shit faced and BART directly there?? Why the fuck not?“ 

As Kevin pointed out to me, San Franciscans love nothing more than hating on automobiles, so it only makes sense we go to an event dedicated to smashing cars, right? I think there's some truth to that. Think about it: San Franciscans love getting drunk, hating automobiles, and going to Oakland so they look well rounded. So why don't they love monster jam?

Wait, don't answer that… Just tuck away your pretentious ego for a few hours and bury it in some Earthquake Hi-Gravity malt liquor and Monster energy drink, and come hang out with all your Myspace friends from Anitoch at the Oakland Coliseum this Saturday. Be sure to get the bassist from Papa Roach to autograph your program! (HINT: He's working at one of twelve concession stands on site).

Grave Digger r00lz

(Event details here)

If you're not already completely burnt out on Dolores Park politics this winter, Dolores Park Works has organized a meet-up tonight at The Summit.  Speakers include Supervisor Scott Wiener and some other people with important sounding qualifications.  See you there!