Bernal

Mission Yams, Concert and Food Drive From Indie Mart and Fog Night Reader, Goes Down TODAY

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Pedro tells us why we should be there:

We’re having another party, this time on the El Rio patio! Headlining are our friends Melted Toys who put out a record earlier this year on Underwater Peoples - the trio are currently working on new material with producer Chet ‘JR’ White (Girls). The dudes in PreTeen are down for the cause, our homie Zane (TINT) is going to treat us some vibey jams, and we’re stoked for french import: La Feline. Primo from Oldies is DJing, Indie Mart will have some booths, and maybe some surprises! Also, if you bring a can of food, you’ll get discount at the door — that’s to benefit the Dolores Shelter Program!

The party starts at 2, will run you $7 ($5 with canned food donation), and promises some drunk Martha Stewart action.  Additional information, including reasons why donating to the Dolores Shelter Program should be on your agenda, over at The Night Fog Reader.

Sunday Streets Returns to the Mission

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

You already know how this works: from 11am to 4pm this Sunday, Valencia and 24th Streets are shut down to motorized traffic so you can get out there and ride your bike, rollerblade between packs of undomesticated children, walk amongst your community, and, most likely, aggressively campaign.  And just in case it was unclear, skateboarding is not a crime.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

After Forgetting to do Laundry, Mission Bike Thief Busted by SFPD

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Bobby the Bike Thief, likely unrelated.

If you're not already reading SFPD's Ingleside Station newsletter, you're missing out on some seriously passionate crime reportage.  From their blotter, they were able to bust a bike thief operating outside of the 3300 Club on Mission:

Officers Morgante and Reserve Officer Martinez were sent to investigate a theft case. The officers spoke to the victim that told them that on September 8th her bike was stolen and that she had just seen the suspect who stole it. The officers broadcast the information and numerous Ingleside units responded to assist. The victim then led the officers to the location where she had seen her bike and the suspect. The officers quickly located the suspect and detained him. The officers asked the suspect if the bike was his which he replied “yes, I bought it four months ago at the San Jose Flee market”. The officers had an ace up their sleeves! The victim saw the suspect that stole the bike and could identify him as well. The officers conducted a “Cold Show” where the victim identified the suspect 100%! The victim was armed with photos of her bike and the serial number too. To make things worse for the suspect, forgot to change his clothing! The suspect should have done his laundry this week! He was wearing the same clothes on the day of the theft. Because of an attentive victim (and prepared), and fast response from the police, this suspect was arrested. Report number 110721326. This is the *****BEST ARREST of the DAY*****

On a somewhat related note, SFPD is stepping up enforcement at the 7th and Market stolen bike market.

(Thanks, Todd!)

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Apple Employee Donates iPhone 5 to the Internet While Casually Inebriating Himself in Mission District Shithole

— By Zach Perkins |

FACT: Apple employees can't hold their liquor… and an iPhone, at the same time.

Either that or I'm in a fucking time warp, because in a dumb-shit repeat of last year's iPhone 4 prototype incident, an Apple employee apparently lost his iPhone 5 at Cava 22 at Mission and 22nd back in July. CNET and Bernalwood are all over the story, since the phone was apparently back-traced to Bernal by the cyberpolice using the Find My iPhone app.  The SFPD searched the home where the device was tracked to, but found nothing. The resident of the home acknowledge being at Cava 22 the night the phone 'went missing' (ie: was set down and abandoned at the bar so Apple-bro could carry all 6 tequila shots back to his table) but claims not to have any knowledge of the missing iPhone. According to CNET, Apple and the SFPD believe the phone might have already been sold on Craigslist for $200; a significant drop from the $5000 Gizmodo paid for the iPhone 4 prototype. I blame the drop in value on Steve Jobs retirement, and the fact that no semi-legit source would go anywhere near a stolen Apple prototype after what happened to Gizmodo last year. 

Aren't these Apple people supposed to geniuses or something? Maybe they should have their potential field-testers fill out a questionarre before issuing them a prototype, with questions like “Do you like bars?” or “Are you under 35 and prone to binge drinking?” and “Do you check in to 4Square when you drink and then set your phone down on the table?” 

And seriously, $200??? That's a better deal than buying it retail. 

El Rio's Big Time Freedom Fest

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Still don't have plans for the Fourth?  The Bay Bridged's got you covered:

This July 4th, come spend your holiday with us on the El Rio patio for the Sixth Annual El Rio Big Time Freedom Fest (3pm, $8, 21+). Six great bands are on deck to help celebrate the things that make this country great: indie music and afternoon beers. Oh, and freedom. Definitely freedom.

The weather looks solid, the show's outside, and you can head straight up Bernal after the music stops to check out the renegade firework show.  But should you need more convincing, TBB has a preview of what you can expect to hear.

Stereotypes are fun and easy

— By Alan Fineberg |

After living in San Francisco for two years now, I have realized that a) I am an expert regarding all things San Francisco and b) it is a 7x7 amusement park for adults (look no further than this blog for evidence).

Since I am an expert I have compiled this list of amusement park rides and their corresponding neighborhoods, but it is incomplete. Which theme park ride is YOUR neighborhood?

The Marina

this one is easy

Nob Hill

also obvious

SOMA

bicycle through THIS

The Sunset

who invented this ride anyway?

The Richmond

you know…the windmill…work with me here…

The Tenderloin

couldn't find a good haunted house picture so I just uploaded this picture of the TL

The Mission

stuck in the same place and likely to vomit

North Beach

Coit Tower of Terror

Not sure about these, please help:

Pac Heights: one with no line to get in?

The Castro: ball pit? they are both made of rainbows, that's all

FiDi: house of mirrors?

The Haight: carney quarters? I think this is offensive (to carneys!!)

Bayview: one of those games with water pistols or something

Other neighborhoods: can't think of any!

pictures from:

Visualizing Mental Maps of San Francisco

— By Alissa |

Neighborhoodr clued me in to this awesome new set of San Francisco maps today. Started by a couple of Berkeley students, Visualizing Mental Maps attempts to map how San Franciscans feel about their neighborhoods & the city, and the results are really interesting. From the site: 

 
The Visualizing Mental Maps of San Francisco project taps into San Francisco residents' perceptions of the city and its neighborhoods, which aren't always reflected in the geography of a street map. The first part of the project was a qualitative investigation in which we interviewed residents and asked them to draw pictures of their internal images or “mental maps” of the neighborhoods they lived in and of San Francisco. The second part was the creation of visualizations informed by the qualitative research, resulting in this atlas of mental maps.
 
One of my favorite parts of their project is Storymaps, where you can hover above a map of SF neighborhoods and see how the study participants characterize them. 
 
I like the one participant who says about the Marina, “Y'know, its not really necessary. I don't really need this.”
 
The map of hills and pedestrian barriers is also a cool reminder of how San Francisco's unique topography dictates neighborhood boundaries and how we move about the city on foot/bike. I've frequently argued that San Francisco really isn't all that hilly, but I think the only reason I feel that way is because I've become so adept at avoiding the hills, especially when biking. When I lived on Fulton & Stanyan, I'd regularly ride a mile out of my way to avoid that steep two block hill on Stanyan between Fell and Fulton. Because I'm lazy. 
 
 
I just wanted to share this, but you should definitely have a look for yourself because there's waaay more interesting data and pictures on their site than I could possibly hope to unpack in a single blog post. These students really did an amazing job of mapping the spirit of the city in a way that traditional cartography never could. And don't forget to check out the Gallery, featuring drawings of SF maps and neighborhoods from study participants. This one looks like a dinosaur!
 
Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

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