Bernal

Bernal Heights Now Officially a "Hipster 'Hood"

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) | December 21st, 2010 @ 3:47pm

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Breaking real estate news, guys! As you may recall, last week, Bernalwood pondered their neighborhood isn't more of a “hipster” neighborhood. Well, according to these two 'absolutely dreamy' realtors sporting angelic blue shirts, Bernal Heights is already a “hipster 'hood”. Don't you see them, Bernalwood? They're everywhere!

Now, before we all get crazy with the eye-rolling, remember that realtors were calling the Mission “hip” and “edgy” long before Mick Jagger and Bill Clinton ate at Slanted Door. So, even if Bernal Heights doesn't have the requisite number of empty warehouses to truly be a rad neighborhood, I'm sure we can look forward to “Big Realty” pushing this branding down the city's neck for years to come.

(“Bernal Heights” by E. Dale Erickson)

Bernalwood Wants to Know Why There Aren't Any "Hipsters" In Bernal Heights

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) | December 13th, 2010 @ 9:39am

The answer to that question is there is no such thing as a “hipster.” But, let us allow them to explain their theory anyway:

It’s a question that’s no doubt top-of-mind for every armchair sociologist in the neighborhood: Given our proximity to the Mission, to say nothing of our spiritual and aesthetic affinity to same, why doesn’t Bernal Heights have a higher concentration of hipsters?
My analysis suggests the answer lies squarely at the intersection of Fashion Boulevard and Topography Way. Specifically, the relative dearth of hipsters in Bernalwood can only be explained by the fact that riding around here on a fixie just plain sucks. In the hipster’s obligatory skinny jeans, it may even be impossible. Ergo, few hipsters.

Nope, that's not it. In fact, two of the biggest industry dirt bags I know lived up in Bernal before moving out of town. One, in fact, used to co-own a messenger company, so if their theory is solely baked around the tired “hipsters ride fixies” stereotype, they got it wrong.

So, why don't cool kids want to live in Bernal Heights? Is it because there is no critical mass of people migrating there? Is it because the view from the top of Dolores is all one needs? It's too quiet? No bars? Too many kids?? Because Bernal Heights residents generalize and mock modern urban culture???

(photo by Bernalwood)

The All-Seeing Eye of Bay Shore

— By Josh Constine | November 21st, 2010 @ 4:53pm

Rimmed with fire, watchful and intent, the neon slit is a window into nothing. From high upon some great warehouse next to Jack in the Box there stabs southeast a rainbow flame, the flicker of which strikes acid flashbacks into all caught within its gaze.

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JJ9KLk9_SU&fmt=35 for ye of RSS. Music by Four Tet]

The locals no not from whence it came, but said it has hung above the 300 block of Bayshore Blvd between Cortland and Oakdale for months. Venture forth into this otherwise forgotten district, and let the lights irradiate.

Al's Cafe Good Food

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) | November 17th, 2010 @ 12:05pm

I'm not pretending this place is new (in fact, it has been around for decades), but I never bothered to set foot into the diner until the other day. As the name of the establishment suggests, the food is in fact quite good (get the avocado/tomato/cheese omlet!). However, the real highlight of the place has nothing to do with the food or service, but rather being able to sit down in a place that is completely shameless in its adoration of Americana. It's basically going to grandma's house, only instead of colonial antiques, it's full of Betty Boop figurines, Garfield stuffed animals, Marilyn Monroe clocks, and Charlie Chaplin posters.

Also, they have a nautical toilet seat, pretty much ensuring they win at the game. Check it.