Mission District Icons

Mr. Bubbles Gets Scrubbed

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

The beloved 24th Street Mr. Burbujas mural, featuring the iconic anthropomorphic buff dancing washing machine discharging some serious bubbles in front of a GIANT LOADS sign, has been dealing with vandalism problems over the last few years.  But the owners—bless their hearts—persistently repaired the mural, keeping one of the last great icons of Mission District whimsy and wonder alive.

However, sometime in the last four days, they said “fuck it” and just buffed most of it out.  Outrage!

Now, one must speculate as to whether they intend to repaint/update the mural or not, especially given that they chose not to paint over the entire thing, notably leaving the tee-hee-dick-jokes GIANT LOADS sign fully intact.  And let's hope they do.  But in the meantime, Mr. Bubbles' untimely and unnecessary death must be avenged, preferably by firebombing the Benjamin Moore across the street.

(And here's Mr. Bubbles in better, cleaner days:)

[Second photo by Joe Schumacher]

Mr. Pickle Costume Sparks Mild Controversy Among Shitfaced Partygoers

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

As the piss-drunk Jesus sitting next to me so dickishly exclaimed when I snapped this pic, “THAT'S THE WORST FUCKING MR. PICKLE'S I'VE EVER SEEN!”

… says a guy dressed in a toga and a shit-brown sash.

See, tackling a cylindrical Mission icon like Mr. Pickle is no fucking joke. You need two pepper-filled bandoliers, some way of mimicking his bloated, vinegar-riddled body without sacrificing mobility, and a hat the size of some small adults.  Never mind figuring out a way to carry around delicious veggie Station 7 lathered in pesto without being accosted by every famished boy and girl in dire need of some hot sando action.

While all this truth was being broken down to shitty Jesus, Mr. Pickle remained cool and collected—staying above the fray, quietly guzzling bourbon while Jesus continued to hurl ineffectual insults.  The tactic worked; eventually Jesus backed down and shifted his energy to molesting a bottle of zinfandel.

So next time Your Savior is tanked and talking trash, just ask yourself: What Would Mr. Pickle Do?