— By Jon Skulski |
Captain Steve Grabowski and Lieutenant Sarah Jones are up for promotion after leading a valiant police effort that has eliminated drug use at the event known as Burning Man.
Officers Grabowski and Jones receiving accolades for winning the War on Drugs at Burning Man.
Over 50,000 artists, musicians and others wishing to experiment with “radical self-expression” gather at Burning Man each year. The event is a haven for the strange and bizarre and is notorious for the use of drugs such as LSD-25, MDMA, and Cannabis.
“Our mission here is not to stop young people from having a good time but to protect them from getting hurt.” Captain Grabowski places handcuffs on a young woman. She was found in possession of a drug testing kit, a tool used to determine what kind of drug a user has bought. “We are in the business of harm reduction,” says Grabowski.
Richard Thomas, an event attendee known as ‘The Postman’, regrets spending his summer building his sculpture ‘El Pulpo Mechanico’, a two story mechanical octopus that spouts fire from its arms.
Richard Thompson's 'El Pulpo Mechanico' which will not pay the pickle man.
“It’s not like I can pay bills with a mechanical beast,” says Thomas. “I’m not going to send my three year old daughter to a state school just so I could blow some people’s minds. That’s just irresponsible.” Thomas has plans to open a chain of furniture stores.
Gabriella Martinez, Director of Admissions for UCSF, has seen the impact first hand. “We have had a 153% increase in enrollment for our MBA program while the Art department is struggling to fill enrollment for next year,” says Martinez. “We can’t thank the Nevada Highway Patrol enough.”
The next Burning Man will begin on October 1st, 2012. There are preliminary plans to change the venue to the Las Vegas Convention Center.
Comments (9)
“She was found in possession of a drug testing kit”
since when is having a drug _testing_ kit a crime? The whole point of testing kits is to reduce the harm of taking substances that are not what the user thought they were (such as DXM sold as fake ecstasy, which can be deadly when used in the hot desert environment).
Was she detained for trying to prevent harm such as this, or for some other unknown motive? This posting leaves more questions than answers for me.
UCSF has neither an MBA or and Art program. It is primarily graduate level and focuses on health sciences.
People, have you ever heard of the term satire before? BTW, UCSF is only graduate level and professional school programs in the health and basic sciences (I know, I’m the Director of Admissions for the dental school - no satirizing…)
That fucking octopus was awesome. Terrifying/hilarious.
YES, OCTOPUS! Just like you described him.
Is that really his nose?!?
weak
LOL …….
Absolute gold! ..first time I have seen your blog and this post made my day!
In other news..
Captain Steve Grabowski and Lieutenant Sarah Jones are being commended for removing a bucket of water from the ocean earlier today. Captain Grabowski was quoted saying “By our brave actions today, we have ensured that no one will ever drown in the ocean again”. What heros!