I received a package in the mail from my mother on Friday. See, it is my birthday this week (Yes, I am a year older. No, you are not invited.) and my mother likes to show me how much she loves me by sending me presents purchased from Family Dollar. Me me me me.

Eager to learn what bounty has been bestowed upon me, I opened up my package and was greeted by a box wrapped in faded newspaper and a card on top. A simple card, “Happy Birthday Son!” with a picture of a deformed cartoon animal. Inside reads “churroschurroschurroschurroschurroschurroschurroschurroschurros” (you get the idea) and “Love, Mom” in red pen.

Puzzled, I tore open the rotting relic of journalism and my eyes were immediately accosted by a box of Post Mini Cinnamon Churros cereal. Why must Post take such a great feat of culinary engineering and reduce it to the Cinnamon Twist of breakfast cereals? The answers was soon apparent, as it is actually quite good. It resembles Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but made for people who prefer their breakfast cereal to have a questionable mascot and be packaged in a box covered in anuses farting milk.

I called my mother and asked where she purchased such a treat. “Big Lots,” she replied. “It was on sale for two dollars a box.”

Take note, everyone.