— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
A few weeks ago, a buddy of mine cracked his bike frame in four places. So, less than a week ago, he picked up a new frame and some parts from Mission Bicycle that set him back a few hundred dollars. All good, right? Well, last night I had persuaded him to roll down the hill from Alamo Square to Doc's Clock. After a couple of pints and a pinball ass-whooping delivered by yours truly, we made our way to the sidewalk only to find his bike short a few necessary components.
While you might think the story ends there, it doesn't. His girlfriend picks him up in her car at 1:30am, they toss the bike on her bike rack and drive off. Well, at some point during the drive home, the entire rack fell off the car. As you can imagine, they couldn't find it.
In short:
- Fuck bike thieves.
- Bad luck does come in threes.
- If you happened to come across an reddish fixie missing a front wheel attached to a bike rack in the middle of the road late last night, do let us know.
Take it away, Bruce McCulloch:
Comments (11)
how does a bike rack with a bike attached thereto, fall off a car without anyone in the car noticing that event?
A bike rack with a bike attached falls off a car with no one noticing because there’s a bunch of crap (ie. earthquake kit,etc) in the hatch, and it makes a lot of noise moving around when the car is driven. Also, at 1:30am after a 15 hour work day you tend not to notice much of anything.
I hafta say, in SF, not locking the front wheel is an invitation for organized thieves. It’s likely only safe with a Huffy level bike, IMHO.
However, the whole danged rack falling off the car does seem like really poor luck/timing.
That’s a pretty shitty job of bike-locking.
On the bright side, this provides an excellent opportunity to ditch the fixie affectation and get a real bicycle.
This sounds like it might be the bike:
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/laf/2113765915.html
That’s a mediocre locking job. You really need the second U-lock for the front wheel and maybe something for the seat.
For those who would like to know how the story ends:
Late last night after throwing back a few beers and then a few more over at good ol’ Tommy’s Joint, I decided (read: the alcohol persuaded me) to walk home. I began hummin’ a tune, as there wasn’t a soul in sight, not even a bum (though I’m sure he wouldn’t mind).
Upon crossing McAllister at Van Ness, I noticed something orange-ish and shiny in the middle of the street. I thought maybe a crossing guard got run over by a car…or perhaps a Giants fan, so I darted out to inspect. It was a bike! Well, most of a bike. The seat and front wheel were missing but there was still a bike rack attached.
My first thought was “Somebody MUST be missing this.”–Well actually, that was my second thought; my first was “My boyfriend needs a new wheel and I could make a pretty penny on this frame!”
Feeling pretty good about myself, mostly because I was drunk, I threw that sucker over my shoulder and proceeded to walk home as if nothing had changed.
Once home, I was greeted by my lover, who was very surprised with what I brought home. We began to critique all the components of the bike and what we’d do with the parts, if we kept it. I wasn’t sure what to think of the owner of the bike, as he/she must be fairly careless and I definitely had to chuckle at the Star Trek cards that were strategically places between the spokes.
Finally, something crept over me–either sobriety or honesty- and I decided to post an ad on the lost and found section of Craigslist. You see, not too long ago, something very similar happened to my boyfriend. He forgot to lock up his bike in front of our building and sure enough, it was gone when he went down to retrieve it. I posted a picture of the bike on Craigslist and mentioned the bike to anyone I came across, in the hopes of getting back this precious piece of machinery that he had loved so much. But he never got his bike back (because God hates us for not paying our bus fare all the time, and well, probably for not believing in him as well).
But this Ben dude, God likes him and he’s getting his new fancy bike back because:
a) He probably pays his bus fare
and
b) I’m awesome
So enjoy, Benny boy!
Hooray! Re-uniting Hipsters and their crappy bicycles!
amazing story.
i have a seat bolt from Pitlock that might be worth a try. (thanks, christian!)
listening to people whine about their stolen bikes is like listening to people whine about getting viruses on their computer. you feel bad for them but… dude… come on…